As most of you (who really know me) know, I don't get out all that often. Oh, I used to - and was even in charge of writing...you know...words that made sense (and under no circumstances would have done so with so many...you know...dots) - in fact, I commuted to downtown NYC (Wall Street) pregnant, even.
Now?
Trips to the grocery store wig me out!
Imagine my surprise (read: WTF WERE THEY THINKING?) when receiving an invitation to sit at a roundtable discussion with...(GULP!)...other bloggers...the likes of...(HOLY CRAP!)...Mom-101 and...(SHIVER!)...DaddyTypes and...(GOOSEBUMPS!)...PHAT Mommy and...(UGH, CAN A MOM BE ANY CUTER?)...Modern Mom and...(UH, YAH...AND YOUNGER!)...Savvy Mommy.
And then wigging out because I'd actually have to...uh, talk...to "real people" and...you know...the table was actually more rectangularish!
DUDE...I felt sooo outta place.
So, when Liz (a.k.a. Mom-101) says to me in the elevator (after she's caught me making goo-goo eyes with her gorgeous two-year-old-daughter):
"I see you're carrying a Minti bag...so, you must be going to the same place I am!?!"
And what do I do?
Kick the stroller to the side and latch onto her left breast...like a greedy little piglet.
"OH, hi...yeah...probably...I didn't actually buy this bag...no...I WON IT!...actually, I was trying to win tickets to BlogHer because...you know...I have four kids...and like they eat...a whole lot...anyways...I didn't win...but, I got runner-up...and they were going to send me a schwag...but, I said...DUDE!...just send me one of those cherry bags...and I'll be good to go...even though I'm not going to BlogHer...but, HEY!...I'm in NEW YORK CITY...aren't I?...and they picked me up at the train station...and like, I totally called my husband from the train station and told him...DUDE, I'M IN THE CAR!...and then text messaged him just before...saying...DUDE! I'm in the hotel and THEY'VE GOT FREE FOOD!"
Then the elevator doors opened and like...she ran...and...funny...I never got a chance to chat her up again.
"Hi, we're so glad you could make it, Elizabeth!"
[nervously looks around and vigorously shakes hands with a key-speaker]
"OH...hi...yeah...and can you believe I got my period this morning?!?"
[blank stare]
"You know...I didn't actually buy this bag..."
I swear to you, I told her the whole car, text-messaging, food story because I am A DORK! And, needless to say, I was beyond nervous - I mean, these bloggers...you know...write good - and I was probably the only one in the room who did NOT have a book out, coming out or anywhere near the closet...whatsoever...but, I managed to speak...without spitting (too much)...totally crushed on Greg and pretty much am ready to have Mom-101's next baby...because she actually posted I HAD GOOD HAIR!
Well, maybe not in those exact words...but, I could tell she was totally into me!
[Liz who...from this full...WHAT?"]
You know...I didn't actually buy this bag...
Liz! I was the OTHER Minti runner-up! And I'm ALSO toting the Big Yellow Bag! And my kids are wearing those t-shirts EVERYWHERE!
And sadly, I'm not going to BlogHer and I don't live in NYC. But I DO love your BlogHer posts and I read them faithfully, often while wearing my Minti t-shirt . . . even though that seems to defy much of your BlogHer fashion advice.
But the bag! Oh, the bag.
Posted by: Susan | July 20, 2006 at 01:16 AM
Man, I'm sorry you won't be at BlogHer. (I know you told me previously - but I saw the beginning of the post and had hopes that had changed.) Cute bag, though :)
Posted by: Donna | July 20, 2006 at 10:34 AM
God that reminds me of myself. I feel like I have been without adult conversation for so long that now I am totally socially retarded. I can't form a complete sentnece and I "pounce" on people because I feel like I gotta get 12 years of non-talk into a minute and a half. I end up scaring everyone off. UGH!
Posted by: alice | July 20, 2006 at 11:14 AM
Hi. Came over from Mom-101. By the way, love the look of your blog. Too cute.
I'll tell you like I told her, y'all crack me UP. It doesn't matter who you write for (past or present), how many hits you get, how many people you know, you all still act the same when meeting in person (read: freak the f out). It's just soooo funny to read. It's so easy for everyone in the blog world, big and small, to kind of hide behind the computer but offer us (not that I've been offered) an opportunity for human interaction, like meeting people in real life, face to face and it's either ramble ramble ramble oh my gosh I sounded so stupid or it's-----------flatline, nothing.
Too, too funny! I guess even you famous bloggers are human.
Posted by: Silly Hily | July 20, 2006 at 12:14 PM
I think perhaps we're kindred spirits. (I totally just went Anne of Green Gables on your butt.) I ramble like that too in public situations. How the heck did I ever end up in BROADCASTING. I'm much more social online. heh
Posted by: Jenna | July 20, 2006 at 03:06 PM
Great story ! Loved reading this and I know how it is getting to make an "elevator pitch" at an unexpected moment :)
So glad you enjoy the Minti bag and that it has prompted some links between people in the real world!
All the best
Matt - Minti Co-founder :)
Posted by: Matt | July 20, 2006 at 07:43 PM
You're right...the table WAS rectangular. We totally need to do something about that for the next time.
False advertsing.
Meanwhile, I thought you were the opposite of rambly. You were thoughtful and smart and--for all your regular readers--absolutely as accessible and cool as you seem to be here. Which is probably why like six hundred bazillion websites all want you to write for them.
So there.
Posted by: Mom101 | July 20, 2006 at 08:31 PM
Hmmm... seems like we all had the same experience! All I can say is I'm very lucky I was late and then had to pretty much run out of the room when this event was over because my husband and children were waiting in the lobby for me. Ya see, that way I had no time to really make a fool of myself by actually, ya know, talking to anyone.
Great meeting you and I'm glad I found your blog!
Posted by: Shannon - PHAT Mommy | July 21, 2006 at 10:48 AM
Sorry to hear you aren't able to go to BlogHer, but that bag does look like a great consolation prize. Maybe next year? New to your blog and loving it :)
Posted by: Jill Urbane, The Mentor Mom | July 21, 2006 at 11:59 AM
I think you need a bright yellow catsuit to match your Minti bag. It's too cool! And that NYC blogger meetup...dern you got to ride on an elevator and everything! ;)
Posted by: Jamie | July 21, 2006 at 10:38 PM
I so aspire to be as cool as you are. I would have done the exact same thing if I were faced with so many other people (especially blogging mom's!). I often wonder how people EVER considered me well spoken ..
Posted by: mamak | July 22, 2006 at 04:49 PM
I just wanted to stop in and say Hi! I really
enjoy reading your posts. You're a great writer.
Have a great weekend!
Posted by: Kailani | July 23, 2006 at 01:47 AM