In here? Yes. You mean, here? Yep. Now? Yes. Are you wed-dee?
Uh-huh. Wed-dee? Um…go ahead! In here? Just, DROP IT…um…good job,
I explained to the cashier - poor thing looked a little scared and
kept backing up, the whole time - as Mini-me and I were dropping off a
donation to RMHC, for The Big MoFo Delurk, yesterday. Thank you all very much for participating (you too, Miss Zoot) and helping me show my kids that, yes, mommy can open her wallet and spend $15.00 on something other than milk, eggs, bread and fabric softener.
Even though I didn’t get to extend the dollar amount into the triple
digits - like, Miss Zoot would’ve - because, it nice to be able to do
something right, for change.
Besides, Garth (not his real name) is angry enough with me, already.
Funny, he’s such a Dudley Do-Right (don’t worry, he knows it) and it
is one of the (many) terms of endearment I would use whenever our
friends wonder how in the heck we EVER got together, in the first
place, since I was a bit of a rebel - back in the day and way before
Yes, Liz B.C. was a bad girl - are you shocked? My parents would be,
if they read my blog, and my mother-in-law probably doesn’t believe me
(yes, she reads me) anyways.
But, that was then and now I have four other egos to stroke….including my husbands.
“How much do you want me to spend, tonight?”
wolfed-down ate dinner and Garth (not his real
name) got home just in time to see me and Thing Two leave for the art
auction being held at the high school.
“Okay, thanks….but, I don’t think we’ll have to donate any more than that.”
“We’ll be home around 9.”
Pants on fire!
“Thing Two will probably find it boring, anyways.”
Nose as long…whoa, hold on there - no need to get personal - but, my parenting skills haven’t been the best
lately and I already owed Thing Two some private time (Thing One’s
still sort of mad me, anyway) so, bidding on gorgeous pieces of art for
charity was the perfect excuse for a mommy-daughter-night-out.
“But, what about meeeeeee!?!?”
Next time, it’s Mini-me’s turn.
“But, the girls get to do stuff with you all the time!”
After The Boy, of course!
“Be good for daddy.”
Because, mommy is about to do something really, really…BAD!
“Look, it’s a Wooster!”
Honestly, it was exciting to be able to buy something - especially,
since most of the bids started at $150.00 - from one of my most
favorite artists of all time - Jane Wooster Scott.
“Aaaand…so is THIS one!”
Getting two framed and SIGNED lithographs - for the price of what it would have probably cost just to frame one - made me feel like such a winner!
“For only two-hundred bucks, it’s a steal!”
I’ll save you from having to hear the rest of my
verbal beating argument (you’re welcome) but, a bulk of the money raised last night is going back into the school system (heaven knows, we need it) and he knows I never spend that much money, at once, on anything, unless it’s on the kids, going in the fridge, or the gas tank.
“What’s the matter with daddy?”
“Nothing you have to worry about, Sweetie.”
Liar, liar - dang, but mommy lies a lot - just call me Matt.
“Why isn’t Thing Two going to school, today?”
Because, Garth (not his real name) and I weren’t speaking - sometimes, it is
better to just walk away - I went upstairs, shut our bedroom door, but
I was too angry to go to sleep. I decided to put away some clothes and
developed a few new curse words.
“Stupid [bleeping] closet!”
And the tears came fast, now.
“I told you not to wimp-out on buying those pictures and now you and daddy are getting divorced!”
If, being a grown-up can stink…THIS MUCH…then, living with one has to SUCK!
“No, baby…it’s going to take a lot more than that!”
I tried to explain it, the best I could - because, there are
going to be plenty of other times when her dad and I won’t like each
other, so much - but, moms and dads don’t know everything (act
surprised, okay) when the answers don’t come quickly and we need to
work on getting through the bad times, too.
“Can I sleep with you?”
Well, daddy certainly won’t and - seeing as she’s 11-years-old and an honor student - I sometimes forget that she’s still a kid.
So, we crawled into bed and watched Letterman.
I am officially declaring a mental day - because, I am a dork - and
if there is anyone else out there, who’s feeling a little bad….go
ahead….give yourself a break and just go with it….it is what it
is….but, it can always be better and because I said so, damnit!
As for Garth (not his real name) well, we kissed (sort of) and I
hope to be able to make up and be friends, again. By the end of the
week, I think. Or, before Aunt Flo visits and all hell breaks loose!
Wish me luck!