Thursday Thirteen #5: Things You Won't Find Under The Tree

I don't know if it's me - okay, I'm fibbing - but, my kids have taken on an attitude, this year.

I know - just act surprised, m'kay.

Not the typical surly sort of suckage you'd expect from a child - shuddup! - but, they don't seem to be asking for much, lately and this is the first year that the kids have NOT made a list for Santa!

I don't know, if it'll snow, let's just have a cup of, "Are you kidding me!?!"

Of course, I'm happy - they're actually seem to be happy with...um...whatever they get and I think I'll buy them ALL a pony, damnit - but, I can't help but feel a little bit surprised, as well.

Like, what do they REALLY want and are they going to like what Santa's brought them?

I don't know - since, I have NOT even started shopping, my own self, yet - but, I can tell you this:

Thirteen things you will NOT find under our tree on Christmas Eve:

1.  Wii game system:  WHO KNEW, kids would want it for Christmas?  Stupid Nintendo!

2.  PSP, or Playstation 3 for that matter:  Because, we GOT to eat.

3.  Hannah Montana concert tickets:  Unless, YOU want to send us some - I would liked to have seen Montana!

4.  Bratz - big eyes, big lips, these girls ARE scary looking:  The spokesdolls for Botox, I swear.

5.  Most anything on Oprah's Favorite Things:  Cheese and rice, would it kill her to like something, say, under $25?!?!

6.  Loud toys:  Not if you EVER want to see your grandchildren, again!

7.  Victoria Secret:  Secret's out, granny underwear IS in!

8.  Candy, chocolate coins and cookies for Santa:  Because, Doofus ate AND either pooped, or threw it ALL up, ALREADY!

9.  Gingerbread house:  See note above.   

10. Puke or poop:  Ditto.

11. Kids, sleeping:  Hahahahahahaha - as wired as they are, right now and you ARE kidding me, right - why bother going to bed, at all?

12. Mommy kissing Santa Claus:  No one can hold a candle to Garth (not his real name) besides,  I'll be too busy...wrapping!

13. Any of you, my dearest blogging friends:  Not after reading this list, or at least numbers 8-10, anyway.

Only 12 more sleeps 'til Christmas - Holy Hannah Montana, seriously - if anyone needs me, I'll be upstairs in the closet, buried knee deep with laundry and looking for my Christmas mojo!

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Comments

[Tyra]

#7 made me laugh out loud!!

[jenny-up the hill]

Hilarious list! I loved 7 and 8. And I agree about the Bratz...they completely creep me out!

[Linda R. Moore]

* chuckle * I kinda like to go through the newspaper inserts to see what junk is being sold at any given time. One gift I will not be buying anyone is the plastic reindeer that poops candy. Go figure!

I have two TT13s this week:

Better decluttering through TT13
http://www.ravensroads.com/index.php/tt13-decluttering/

http://www.ravensrv.com/thursday-thirteen-4-calistoga-california-for-rvers/
Calistoga, California for RVers

[Maddy]

Ooo dear me. I am much more fortunate that you as I don't even start thinking about Christmas until after the third family birthday. So I'll start panicking on the 16th.
Cheers

[Jamie]

I loves me some comfy six packs of cotton granny panties! (And beer, too, while yer at it.)

Our dryer is BROKEN of all #@%#! things. Ugh. I'll be hauling tons of wet laundry to the laundromat tomorrow. I still have SEVERAL presents to buy. Trying not to panic.

Cheers! Or Tide! Or something like that. ;)

[Damozel]

That was SO FUNNY.

You're so lucky that the kids aren't carried away by consumer-itis. I was just saying to my husband that I think the moment is coming---next year?---when everyone in America will get fed up with the compulsory Christmas gift-giving at the same time, and go back to exchanging cards, cookies, and good wishes. I have my fingers crossed.

I notice that even Barbie has been altered to look like the Bratz dolls. Weird.

The Flatland Almanack --Damozel (adorable animals behaving oddly)

[nicholas]

Yours is not the only home where those won't be under the tree! Come to think of it, I don't even know what half of those are.

[MamaLee]

Sorry for being VERY late...

But that list was a RIOT! Big fat love from over here!

No poop under the tree, huh? Ya sure?

xoxo