Excuse my children, please - yes, they LIVE in a barn - but, it's been a whirlwind of celebrations, here at This Full House of horribly wrapped gifts and mis-matched socks, and they've been singing that stupid song for...um...how many days HAVE they been home, now?
All I know is, it's like summer vacation...all over again...except, only a bit colder...not to mention, way wetter.
Oh, and DAYUM.
What's up with all the cruddy weather? We DO live in Jersey, you know? Where's all the flipping snow?
My husband, Garth (not his real name) was off from work ALL WEEK and - since, it is the first time that he's been home for Christmas vacation in, like, WOW, 10 years - just a little winter-like romping would have been, you know, nice.
"You won't believe this one?"
But, we did get a chance to visit with family - yes, AND managed to live through it, thank you very much - and FINALLY got up to Pittsgrove Farms.
"Would you mind watching the kids for a little while?"
Which happens to be home to two of my and Garth's (not his real name) most favorite people in the world - Mr. and Mrs. Dirtdigger - who also happen to be Mini-me's Godparents.
"You see, tomorrow's Thing Two's birthday."
So, we're more than happy to take whatever time we happen to have open on our very busy calendars and drove up to "the farm" on the day before Thing Two's birthday.
"And...um...well...I sort of...you know...FORGOT!"
"I never got her a birthday present."
I mean - with all the shopping, wrapping, gifting, and then, you know, more shopping - you think I'd remember to get my daughter's birthday present.
[bites lower lip]
"How can I forget my OWN daughter's birthday?"
She's had one for the last 12 years, for goodness sake.
"What kind of mother am I?"
Honestly, I felt even more sorry for Mrs. Dirtdigger.
"You poor thing."
She grabbed me and hugged me...hard...as I really tried my best NOT to cry.
"Man, I suck!"
Yep, cried like a baby.
"Don't worry, I know just what to get her, and we'll only be an hour...I swear!"
Nope, that didn't work out very well either.
"I'm sorry, Ma'am, but, we don't have any left and they seem to be all out of stock, everywhere."
Of course - seeing as it was, like, two days after Christmas, and all - and it's NOT like she's the ONLY 12 year-old who does NOT have an mp3, or anything.
"Well, how much is that one?"
[eyes go wide]
I'm sure the hubs didn't mean to holler so loud - I would have, after regaining my powers of speech, eventually - and it was way more than what Garth (not his real name) and I usually spend on, you know, one gift.
"I know, it's a lot."
Did I mention, we just finished Christmas?
"But, she's a good kid and NEVER asks for anything."
And she's got me, you know, as a mother.
Having to celebrate your birthday, 3 days after Christmas - not to mention, taking a back seat to 3 other kids - even though she seemed to like her gift.
"No, I don't like it...I love...love...love...LOVE IT!"
I couldn't really blame her, if she wished for just a little more.
"Wow, it's even way better than an iPod!"
But, Thing Two has always been resilient - even as a baby, suffering with a severe case of colic and having to spend the first 8 months of her life, awake - and I can't think of another person who deserves, well, whatever the heck she wants, really.
I mean, who else would settle for an ice cream cake...in the winter?
Did I mention, I forgot it was her birthday?
But, Mini-me was gracious enough to make me a "special" Christmas cookie and remind me that her birthday isn't until June.
"Don't worry, Momma, you have pwenty of time...to forget my birfday, too!"
It's your birthday...make a mess...it's your birthday...
Lord, love a duck - 2 kids born in November and December, I'm really beginning to HATE that song - but, I am SO glad that The Boy's birthday isn't until the end of January!
Happy birthday, baby - I love, that you STILL love me, too - and I can't believe another year has gone by...oh, and just think...NEXT YEAR...you're a teenager!
Just like Thing One.
With a big sister, like her - I mean, the girl is 14 and STILL, you know, likes me, sort of - I'm not worried...too much...I think.
Just be happy that you look like your grandmother, m'kay!?!?