Take cover, Mothergoosemouse Is Having A Boy!

 

My blogging friend Julie (a.k.a. Mothergoosemouse) is having a baby, like, real soon. I had the pleasure of meeting Julie at BlogHer '07 in Chicago; sat next to her during the Imperfect Parent reception -  she and I write monthly columns - and I didn't even realize she was pregnant.

DUH!

I finally figured it out, though, after insisting she MUST have a glass of wine with me and Julie finally hollered, "DUDE, no thanks, I'm pregnant!"

Nah, she didn't really yell...that loud.

[wince]

I know how pregnant women can get - nothing but love for the keepers of the underbelly - and I was very happy to learn that Mayberry Mom and Motherhood Uncensored are throwing Mothergoosemouse's virtual baby shower!

"We want to hear your tips, stories, and/or advice about raising boys."

Well, Julie - and anyone who's ever wondered, "Are boys different?" - wouldn't YOU like to know!

[snicker]

I'm sorry - that sounded mean - but, you'll have to forgive me, I'm still trying to make peace with the fact that The Boy makes me feel like I must be totally whacked-in-the-head, or something!

Why?

Let's just say, in my never ending search for peace and tranquility in our little corner of the empire, I have allowed my eight-year-old son to host his first sleep-over party, Friday.

[shiver]

Yep, I've invited two of his best friends from school for what promises to be a night filled with much yelling (man, boys ARE loud!) and lots of stomping and jumping on furniture, as the boys make a valiant effort to battle hostile forces from the dark side.

My three girls.

Look, it's not like I can't say as I blame them - the boys, I mean - after all, being born female...and raising three girls of my own...trust me when I say that...girls are harder than boys!

I'm not saying raising boys is easy - remember...I have one of those, too! - they're just...well, okay I'll go right on ahead and say it...boys are NOT just different, they're WHACKED IN THE HEAD!

For example:

"Five minute warning - we are going to school in FIVE MINUTES - finish up and be ready to leave in five minutes!"

The three girls go nuts, as they try and put on their socks...shoes...hair-thingies...deodorant...a different shirt...another pair of pants...that matches the shirt, better...more deodorant...backpacks...whatever...at the very last minute...and barely make it out of their bedroom - that looks very much like a casualty of war, by the way - alive and in one piece!

The boy?

"What...we have school, today!?"

Either way, you're screwed.

In The Boy's defense, living in a houseful of girls - not to mention a very hormonal mother - can be real hard on a little guy!

So, I often times take advantage of my neighbors (tee-hee) and send him around the corner (yes, send the mess to OTHER people's houses) and let him play with other people's stuff and...more importantly...most of  his friends' families do NOT have girls!

But, lots and lots of Legos.

"They even got the new Lego Star Wars...you know...like, the first one...that we don't have...but, you rented from Blockbuster...but, this is the second one...that you won't probably buy, either...because it's like, forty-five-hundred dollars...or, something...so, "J" is gonna ask his mom...if he can bring it over...so we can verse each other on Friday...because, you know...it's probably still too expensive...and you won't buy it...probably!"

Probably not.

But, that's okay - that's what friends with lots of cool toys and plenty of brothers to share are for, right? - allowing his friend to stay over will surely make up for being such a cheapskate!

Me?

Heaven knows I'm saving him from versing Mini-Me, who still insists that crying, "No fair," or "Girls go first," and "You should let me win because I'm still yiddle!" and insists it actually does increase her chances of winning.

No doubt, SHE will give me and Garth (not his real name) a run for our sanity!

[heavy sigh]

I can't promise to know how this will all turn out, for you, Julie.

Especially, since I'm supposed be focusing on taking my 12-year-old daughter and a bunch of her girlfriends to the mall on Saturday (and I thought boys were LOUD?) and...MAN!...is it just me...or, do all kids' birthdays have to last soooooooo long? - UGH!

But, I can tell you with his blonde hair, blue eyes and fair skin (ALL his sisters are dark) sometimes it's hard to believe that he is even mine (since, the roots that are already showing on my head will suggest  that my hair must be REALLY dark, as well) but, I CANNOT imagine even a day...not even one more hour...without my son.

 

And neither can his sisters, as they try and convince him that only REAL men wear makeup.

"Dude, it's just like CAMMO!"

As I see it, it's tough - no matter the gender, kiddo - but, well worth it in the end.

[see ALL pictures above]

May the force be with you, Julie, AND keep YOU from tearing your hair out.

[cue Mini-me]

If not, feel free to borrow Mini-me and she'll be more than happy to go all Darth Vader on their collective little asses!

[click...whoosh...click]

Don't make me have to destroy you!

 

© 2008 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.

[Please, clean off a chair and stay a while - subscribe to email updates or the RSS feed or - if you really, really like me - then Digg This, I'll love you forever!]

Comments

[mayberry]

Oh god the legos. I still have flashbacks of the sound of my brother raking through his big boxes of legos ... not to mention stepping on those #*()& SHARP little pieces. Right now we're still a duplo house ... but I know my days are numbered.

Thanks for joining in the shower fun!

[mothergoosemouse]

I was just really bitter that I couldn't have a glass myself. At the last BlogHer cocktail party, I made Her Bad Mother stand there and let me sniff her glass of Chardonnay.

I have to admit that I'm excited about having some boy-centric toys around the house. I loved Star Wars and Legos myself.

Thanks Liz!

[dana]

So, what you're saying is, this is what I've got to look forward to? I might as well start looking for boarding schools. (Kidding.)

[Cheryl]

I totally heart you, and I just met you. Those pictures are priceless. Over Thanksgiving, I tackled my 14-year-old nephew to the ground so I could take a picture of him wearing a sparkly pink cowboy hat. I'm saving it as ammo in case he ever needs to be humiliated. It's waiting in my private Flickr pool.

[Jenny]

Those pictures are hysterical!