This Full House

Parenting Tip #29,019,543: You'll laugh at this one day - I'm laughing, already!

My inlaws are both turning 80 this year (relax, you guys STILL look good) so, I try to keep holidays and family get-togethers as simple as possible.  Let's face it, I know that having kids running around at these sort of things can get a little gregarious and my mother-in-law just doesn't seem to be in much of a festive mood, anymore.

Heck, she's got 5 kids, I'm surprised the woman is even able to complete a sentence, or find the strength to smile, without madly clutching at her breast and gasping for breath, then dribbling her sweet tea all over the place.

Unless, she's eating cake at MY house - especially, if it happens to be one that Grandma did NOT bake - oh, and did I mention that I can make a really crappy pitcher of sweet tea?

Nearly Wordless Wednesdays: Birthday Wishes and Caviar Dreams!

Why, yes...it IS my birthday...but, I'm not here AND those aren't really my sneakers, either.

They do, however, belong to my 12-year-old and they fit me (big feet, warm heart) and I sort of...you know...like them.

So, I'm borrowing them (because, mine broke) and spending the entire day...ALONE...with my husband, Garth (not his real name) and nobody else, but him!

Why?

Because, he surprised me by taking a vacation day...TODAY...and we're spending the WHOLE day...TOGETHER...strolling along the beach, or sucking on freshly-shucked oysters topped with a tiny dollop of sour cream and perhaps a sprinkle of caviar, even.

Doesn't matter, really.  I'll be JUST as happy sharing a dirty water hot dog and swapping some spit...ALONE...with the man who...you know...is willing to spend an entire day alone, with me!

Aaaaand...YES...it IS the best birthday gift, EVUH!

[heavy sigh]

Have a great day, everyone - oh, and please feel free to leave your message at the beep.

[big toothy grin]

Beeeeeeeep!

Check out the Official Wordless Wednesday HQ
Tag, you're it: Wordless Wednesday

This Full House Reviews and Giveaway:  "Just Who Will You Be?" by Maria Shriver

© 2008 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.

What Memorial Day Means To Me, Mostly.

Yep, it's Monday and my youngest (she's 6) is beside herself with worry, because our flag isn't up (yet) and she can NOT find anything red to wear!

Anything that's CLEAN, anyway.

You see, around these parts, Memorial Day is the "unofficial" start of barbecue season and, as of today, the beaches in New Jersey are now "officially" open!

Which simply means that the lifeguards are on duty and it's high time we ALL get our beach tags, or better make sure that those season passes are visibly displayed on the dashboard of your car, thankyouverymuch.

This weekend is also when my twin brother and I typically celebrate our birthday (May 28) and then he joined the Army right before we graduated high school and I quickly became accustomed to being an only child.

Until, he almost died.

Meanwhile, Back at Kamp Kegel - Part I

Mom is recovering well from her surgery, thank goodness.  So, now it's Dad's turn.  Yes, wrestling with various health issues, they make a wonderful tag team!

So, while I am at the hospital, taking part in subliminal chit chat and contributing to the high levels of tmi typically found in a fully-packed waiting room -- like, telling the blue-haired lady how I froze my ass at soccer tryouts last night, will have to go again tonight and how I woke up with a cold AND my period, this morning (you're welcome!) -- and then shaking down the vending machine for something really, really salty, my friends from Kamp Kegel are holding reunions in the form of a weekly post roundup.

Here's what my fellow hair-braiding badge awardees were up to this week - oh AND there are some pretty cool giveaways, too:

Flip This: I don't think we're in Jersey, anymore!

It's cold.  Too cold to swim and too wet to play.  Just, too danged cold.  We haven't opened our pool, yet.  Aaaaand, the squirrels ate through the hose on our gas grill AGAIN.  So, our barbecue is broken and, as of this morning, there are only 18 days left until the kids start their summer vacation.

We're just NOT feeling it, here in Jersey.

Mini-Me Recites Over the Rainbow from Liz Thompson on Vimeo.

So, to brighten up my mood - and perhaps even yours, a little - here's my first video blog (vlog) post of my youngest (she's 6) read/singing the lyrics to Over the Rainbow, captured by one of my kids.

Don't know which?

No one will own up to the fact that they used mommy's Flip camera WITHOUT asking, AGAIN!

Don't worry too much about the scratching.  The lice in my son's class hasn't spread to her class yet (thank you, Jesus) and they BOTH have since gotten their hair cut.

Oh, but you might want to back away from your screen, a little, and perhaps even grab some hand sanitizer while you're at it.

Mini-me's got a cold, too.

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IN OTHER NEWS:

This Full House Giveaway #5:  $50.00 gift card from Target (ends Monday, May 26th!)

This Full House Kids:  Read about our Giving Back Campaign!

© 2008 ThisFullHouse - All Rights Reserved.

Wordless Wednesday: Big Brother IS Watching You!

It's all good though and the ONLY way Mini-me will get to sleep at night, lately.

Check out the Official Wordless Wednesday HQ
Tag, you're it: Wordless Wednesday

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IN OTHER NEWS: This Full House Reviews - Were You Raised By Wolves?

Putting the "NEW" in Jersey:  Perhaps All She Needs Is To Be Kissed, Often and By Someone Who Knows How!

© 2008 ThisFullHouse - All Rights Reserved.

This Full House Giveaway #5: Summer Gear Giveaway!

Speaking of mah birthday - why, NO you haven't missed it and probably still have plenty of time to wish me something really, really pretty by next Wednesday - I thought it would be fun to host another awesome giveaway!  Why?  Because I am SO Target's bitch!

CHECK IT OUT:  This Full House Giveaway #5:  Summer Gear Giveaway

© 2008 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.

Uh-oh, looks like I'm wading in the shallow end of forty-something!

WAIT - before you click over to City Mama's place to try and win a Nintendo Wii - STOP!  Because, if you've already read my most embarrassing post (to date) then, you know I work hard at keeping my Queen of the Dorks persona intact AND that piece of ass-kicking hardware is SO mine!

Still.

Long story short (you're welcome!) giving birth and raising 4 kids hasn't been kind to my body.  In fact, it's really beginning to show...EVERYWHERE...but, most especially from the neck up.

Wanna see?

She Works Hard for the Funny!

Speaking of hard-working moms.

CityMama is giving away a Wii Fit and...WHAT?...you want a Ninento Wii to go with that whine?  No prob; she's giving that away, too.  All you have to do is write a post about your MOST embarrassing fitness moment.

Here's mine:

Bloggers Unite for Human Rights: A Mom Speaks Out For the Families of Myanmar

This month marks the first anniversary of Bloggers Unite and they're launching an awareness campaign chosen by BlogCatalog members and partnering with Amnesty International. Today, May 15, 2008, bloggers across the Internets are uniting for human rights to make a statement:

All people are born with basic rights and freedoms - life, liberty, and justice!

So, what DOES a wigged-out, total klutz of a mother with 4 kids, 2 cats, 1 super-hyper sock-eating dog and 2 damn much laundry (like me) possibly have to say about human rights, that would make sense to anyone else other than the voices in her head, anyway?