She Works Hard for the Funny!

Speaking of hard-working moms.

CityMama is giving away a Wii Fit and...WHAT?...you want a Ninento Wii to go with that whine?  No prob; she's giving that away, too.  All you have to do is write a post about your MOST embarrassing fitness moment.

Here's mine:

In school I was "the skinny kid" with the scabbed-over knees, happily strutting around with my twin brother (and his friends) and wearing my band aids like trophies.

Then, I hit the 3rd grade and all hell broke loose on my body.

I developed very early and, by the 6th grade, I was the tallest one in my class and kids would call me names like "Amazon" and "SheMan."

Ouch.

My mother said I was "big-boned" and I suspect it was because the poor woman was 13 lbs. when she was born and perhaps already knew that I was genetically doomed to be "a big girl."  Either way, it sucked and my Aunt Theresa (who was 5' and 11") took pity on me and signed us both up for karate class when I was in the 8th grade.

It was great.  The outfit was much more comfortable than the stupid clothes kids were required to wear in gym - a very unflattering jumpsuit that ended with an elastic thigh...UGH - in fact, my karate uniform felt more like a loose pair of comfy pajamas.  I loved it!

Until.

"Hee-YAH!"

[eyes go wide]

"What?"

After an extremely powerful kick, followed by a deep lunge, I jumped up from the mat and followed everyone's gaze to see that my Kotex pad had fallen out and was lying on the floor (face up) and in front of the entire class!

Yeah, I roll like that.

[the sound of crickets chirping]

Did I mention, this was just before self-stick maxi pads came out and I totally forgot to wear my belt!?!?

Don't know what the heck I'm talking about, do you?  Well, it WAS 1970-something.  But, I bet each of you have your own horror stories of menstruation, too.

Even Walt Disney!

Ain't being born female GRAND!?!?

[heavy sigh]

I won't go into the gorey details (you're welcome) suffice it to say that a moment like this could scar a person...for life...and I guess it's further testament that blogging IS cheaper than therapy.

[awkward silence]

Gosh, but my kids would love it if I won a Wii and I bet my "most embarrassing fitness moment" beats yours...butts down!

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Comments

[mary]

oh my lordy that is hilarious.

[Cheryl]

Oh my freaking god. That's hilarious. My husband asked me why I gasped and clutched my chest, so I read it for him. You're welcome.

[Liz - Queen of the Dorks]

Cheryl,

ROFLMAO!

[wiping eyes]

Ahhhh...that's a good one...so, when are you guys coming for a visit?

[sound of crickets chirping]

I thought so.

[Mrs. Schmitty]

I'm not even going to enter the contest...not with a post like that!! OH.MY.LORD! You poor, poor girl! Tell me, did you move to another town?

[tiff]

Oh. You must win. You must.

[Liz - Queen of the Dorks]

Hey Mrs. Schmitty,

Thank goodness the karate class was held in a strip mall, two towns over. Still. Anytime I hear one of my kids yell, "HEEYAH!" I can't help but duck and cover up my privates!

[Dana]

Wow. Yours totally beats mine. Totally. Should I say Congratulations right now?

I would have died right there, had this ever happened to me. Although, I do have my own scary menstruation horror story. I don't know if I could EVER blog that.

[Kat]

Oh, that is horrifying. I can't even imagine.

[sryan]

Hilarious! We just finished in our book club a book that made me laugh as much as I laugh with you on your site. "The Book of Mom" by Taylor Wilshire is about a mom that loses her passion and sence of self and how she gets it back with the help of a best friend a therapist and a sarcastic sence of humor. The book is loaded with Oprah-esqe principals on Spirituality that I don't always believe in, but I have to say this was the best book I have read in a long time. A perfect summer read--have you read it? Would you give us your insight if you have?

[Donna]

You may not believe this, but we short gals have always been jealous of you tall'uns.

And I have a similar tale of maxipad woe - but I'll save that for BlogHer and drinks.

[Half-Past Kissin' Time]

I have no embarassing fitness story, but I do have a funny Kotex story. When the adhesive strips first came out, my MIL (not the brightest bulb at times) peeled it off and STUCK IT TO HER CROTCH!) She said, "It was VERY painful to get off, and I had no idea why they would come up with TWO adhesive strips!!" TRUE story.

[lizriz]

OMG, how horrible!

Yet another reason I was right to whine to my mother to let me use tampons! I can't imagine having to exercise in pads, much less belted (or not belted!) ones.

[fatummy]

I am crying! This should have one the contest!