Nibby nabby noopy
La la la lo lo...
I'm not a morning person. I'm a mommy, you know what I mean? Still. My husband Garth (not his real name) couldn't care less if I woke up, tomorrow, decided to shave my head and start referring to myself as:
"Hello, my name is Starshine and I AM Mr. Clean's bitch!"
I'm telling you, as weird as it sounds, he'd STILL think I'm sexy.
Why?
Because, my husband is really NOT all that interested in what's going on with my head - yes, he is a very smart man - but, he HAS sung praises of his love for me...from the neck down...many, many times.
"Uh...you're NOT going out like that...are you?!?"
No, he didn't actually say that (out loud) - judging by the look on his face this morning, he didn't have to - but, Thing One was running late and I was already pretty pissed about her missing the bus and having to drive her to school, this morning.
"I hope nobody I know drives by and sees me standing in the yard staring at the house in my pajamas!"
My husband is, however, very fond of quoting lines from our favorite movies whenever the occasion calls for it.
[Toot-Toot]
"HEY!"
[Beep-Beep]
"Bad girls...talking about the sad girls..."
And I, on the other hand, have a really bad habit of singing (really loud) at perhaps the most inappropriate of times, even!
"BWAAAHHH!"
Shit.
"Are...[sniff]...you...[sniff]...going...[snort]...to see Bucky, today?"
You see, one of our cats is in the hospital and...well...to make a long story short (you're welcome) he's going to need a procedure that we couldn't possibly afford...at the moment...so, well, you know.
"If you do...[sniff]...give him a...[snort]...big hug for me, okay?"
UGH!
"Near Shitty, far Shitty in our motor car, oh what a shitty time we'll spend!"
That one DID get her smiling, though.
"Look, the bus hasn't even come yet!"
I blew the horn and had Thing Two get in the car with us, anyway and she quickly caught on.
"Hey, Shitty...you Shitty...everybody's feeling Shitty!"
Okay, so letting your 12-year-old and 14-year-old curse is probably, like, so NOT sexy.
"Shitty...Shitty...Bang...Bang...we love you!"
But, I'm their mommy and sometimes allowing them to be bad - especially, when life doesn't seem very fair - is good; you know what I mean?
Later.
"Thank you so much, Doctor, for all that you have done!"
SHIT!
[heavy sigh]
"He's not going to charge us anymore, after today."
Yes, my friends, life can suck a big wet...wait a minute...he looks happy; what gives?
"What do you mean?"
[smiles]
"I mean, he's going to go ahead with the surgery on Bucky...pro bono."
Well, shave my head and call me...okay, you know.
"Hi, I'm Bucky's Mom!"
I jumped in the shower (you're welcome) took the rest of my kids to school, ran over to the Vet's office, scheduled the surgery for later today and settled the bill.
"Can I see him?"
[smiles]
"Of course!"
The receptionist glanced down to my feet and then gave me a funny sort of look.
"Oh, and by the way, your slippers are AWESOME!"
[eyes go wide]
NO, that didn't really happen - I'm just messin' with ya' - but, it could have and I wouldn't have cared less.
"Good Morning, Starshine...the kids say hellooooooooow!"
Because, this has been absolutely the best morning I've had...in WEEKS!
Awesome! Go Bucky, Go Bucky Go! Thrilled for you and your family!
Posted by: Elina | 05/02/2008 at 01:48 PM
You are TOO damn funny!
Sexay slippers indeed!
Posted by: Jamie | 05/02/2008 at 03:41 PM
Oh...those slippers are great. I've actually left the house in mine and completely forgotten. It was a bad day, that day. :)
So Bucky is going to be okay?
Posted by: dana | 05/02/2008 at 05:40 PM
Hi Dana,
The receptionist JUST called (5:30 p.m. est Friday) and said that Bucky made it through surgery and that the next 4-5 days are critical.
At this point, we're crossing our fingers (and toes) that Bucky makes it - other customers are rooting for him, too as the vet and his staff are telling everyone about, "The Miracle Cat!"
Posted by: Liz | 05/02/2008 at 06:00 PM
That's great, Liz! I hope Bucky continues to do well and makes it past those critical days post surgery!
I still love the slippers!
Posted by: Cindy | 05/04/2008 at 07:55 AM
Mrs. Schmitty thinks I'm sexy too...he's either in need of glasses or he is in the beginning stages of dementia!
Posted by: Mrs. Schmitty | 05/04/2008 at 03:29 PM
Oh, man. I hope Bucky pulls through. Go, cat, go!
I'm brave enough to wear jammies through the drive-through, but not so much in public. You're moxie is admirable.
Posted by: imaginary binky | 05/04/2008 at 10:43 PM
Oh, man. I hope Bucky pulls through. Go, cat, go!
I'm brave enough to wear jammies through the drive-through, but not so much in public. Your moxie is admirable.
Posted by: imaginary binky | 05/04/2008 at 10:43 PM
Of course, I had to say it twice (and now three times) because of poor grammar. Bad, Sarah. Very bad.
Posted by: imaginary binky | 05/04/2008 at 10:44 PM
Now I'm going to have an earworm of "Good Morning Starshine" for the foreseeable future. Good thing I like this song!
Posted by: Daisy | 05/05/2008 at 09:29 PM
Hurray for Bucky... Hurray for a compassionate vet, and hurray for comfy slippers.
That's about all I got to say about that.
Posted by: JayMonster | 05/09/2008 at 09:53 AM