O...M...G...don't even!
My middle girl turned 13, last month (someone hold me!) and used her birthday money to order the really cool camera that I have been coveting (these darn kids get EVERYTHING!) and, after we got home from having her stitches removed this week, Thing Two was thrilled to find it waiting for her at the front door!
Typically, I hate having my picture taken and consider myself severely photogenically-challenged. It's okay. I'm down with that.
Gosh, but kids make me feel so stupid...sometimes.
Judging by the look on her face, apparently, not really.
I know I'm just a stupid parent and all (seriously, with 2 teenagers in the house, never felt dumber) but, didn't I just say that?
Yes, the day she turned 13, I allowed Thing Two to sign up for a Facebook account (I mean, her 15-year-old sister has one) and it's really no big deal...I'm on it, too...besides, I'm her mom and MADE her "friend" me!
Relax, Dr. Phil -- honestly, I'm just not that into train wrecks -- but, I'm tired of feeling frightened, or being made to look, you know, inept (especially, when it comes to spelling words like inept) and yes the Internet scares me, a little (especially, as a parent) but, I'm also still the boss of my kids and have set up some ground rules, which are subject to change, of course:
- Do not "friend" anyone you do not know!
- Do not post (or, link) any pictures that your parents would be embarrassed to see.
- Do not allow a "non-friend" to see view your profile.
Aaaand, I checked, just to be sure.
"Your privacy settings look good."
Oh, I know, kids aren't perfect (I'm down with that, too) and, if they do screw up, guess what?
No more Facebook!
[shrugs shoulders]
Until they're 18, anyways.
Here's the thing, I never claimed to be the perfect parent (seriously, I'm going through some growing pains) but, kids grow up so fast (trust me, I know) and are much more savvy, these days.
My parenting philosophy has changed over the years -- what worked with 1 kid, ain't necessarily gonna fly with the other 3 -- but, there's one that has remained tried and true. If you can't beat them (I certainly don't recommend, it) make them "friend" you on Facebook.
Or, maybe try telling them that you weren't born "this old" and still remember feeling insecure (some of us still do) or, weird (show them pictures, even) and maybe that even us parents can STILL learn a thing, or two.
Or, just MAKE your kids "friend" you on Facebook!
Personally, I think it's sort of nice to know that we can at least, you know, hang out together - even if it's only, virtually.
"Just, don't leave anything embarrassing...okay?"
Of course, not (I'm down with that) and I just joined this really cool group called Moms Whose Kids Are Embarrassed That They Have a Facebook and, although it's been around since October, 2008 (yeah, I'm quick like that) I felt it necessary, just in case my kids decide to, you know, "un-friend" me!
Why?
Because, neither the kids or I have a Myspace account....DUH!
[makes a fist and then shows two fingers]
Peace!
© 2008 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.
I love your blog by the way. I have a preteen and a teen daughter. I like reading about what I might expect to happen in the future with my daughters. I also have a 5 yo son.
I share your concern with FB/MySpace. I have an FB page. At least once a week I get a friend request or find one of my 12 yo's friends online. I'm not comfortable with my 12 yo going on FB, yet.
I found an alternative of sorts. Yoursphere.com is a safe online community for kids and teens aged 9-18. Kids can explore the Yoursphere world without fear of predators and online creeps. If you are interested, check out www.yoursphere.com and use code: YSMD-BERR to get $5 off a yearly membership.
I blog at: www.writingmylifeoneblogatatime.blogspot.com
Posted by: Mom on the Run | January 09, 2009 at 09:30 AM
Hi Mom on the Run,
Thank you for your comment -- coupon codes are always welcome -- but, my point isn't so much about fear of predators and online creeps.
Of course, a main concern to anyone raising kids.
But, even in a "kids only" atmosphere, creeps can lie about their age.
It's the fact that my two oldest daughters are at the age where they truly believe that their mother is totally stupid.
As most teenagers do, I hope, anyway.
Anyhow, the Internet is one of the few things we have in common, at the moment.
Sometimes, I just find it easier to reach them through texting and Facebook.
Posted by: Liz@thisfullhouse | January 09, 2009 at 09:46 AM
What an inspirational post Liz. :)
I think it's wonderful that you and your girls share that commonality. My son and I share a passion for hackin the box :).
If as a parent, you're on the other side of the fence, it's pretty hard to reach your child.
Continuing to play with your child on a mutual playground is a good thing. It's called a "relationship".
Kudos Liz.
Posted by: mannequin | January 09, 2009 at 11:01 AM
My 12 year old hasn't asked about Facebook yet, but we do allow him to post on the Bungie.net Community Forum, there's a forum where gamers talk about their achievements in Halo 3. He knows we can remote in to his laptop any time, and look at his history as well. So far, he's given us no reason not to trust him online. Which is a big relief!
peace, um, out? lol
Posted by: Elizabeth | January 09, 2009 at 12:26 PM
Who knew it was now merely "peace". I guess I'm WAY behind.
Posted by: scribbit | January 09, 2009 at 02:14 PM
mannequin: I like the idea of a "mutual playground" even as a grown up!
Elizabeth: Sounds great - but, don't tell my kids, that your kid has a laptop, m'kay!
scribbit: Heh, it changes...from day to day...I swear!
Hugs,
Liz
Posted by: Liz@thisfullhouse | January 09, 2009 at 02:21 PM
Smart lady, you.
Posted by: patois | January 10, 2009 at 11:53 AM
I made my daughter friend me. Through that, I am also friends of her friends, etc. We also have myspace.
I don't often stop by, but she knows I can at anytime. We have no internet in bedrooms, only public spaces in our house.
My oldest is almost 16.
Posted by: Susan K | January 10, 2009 at 01:12 PM
This is tooooooo funny! I was feeling pretty good about my Facebook page and my number of "friends." Until I befriended one of my teen neighbors and her "friends" more than quadrupled mine.
And already planning BlogHer '09? You are good!
Posted by: Amber | January 11, 2009 at 09:38 PM
patois: Nah, I just seem to really lucky sometimes and just feel the need to share it, hoping it rules out the "dumb" things, you know?
Susan K: I really feel, in my heart, that my kids will one day appreciate the fact that I troll their web pages...especially, when they have kids :)
Amber: And how is it that I have NOT "friended" you, yet? See, the dumb ALWAYS wins...damnit!
Posted by: Liz@thisfullhouse | January 12, 2009 at 09:30 AM