Not So SAHM, Anymore

Mom, but what BIG ARMS you have -- why, yes, the better to hug you with, my dear!

For years (or, as long as this blog has existed...anyways) I have considered the phrase, "Stay-at-Home-Mom" an oxymoron, like:

• The Great Depression - to which, my in-laws insist that it was, in fact, you know, not so great.
• Dry lake - although, I don't seem to have an immediate problem with dry wine.
• Original copy - as opposed to, a copied original, I think.
• Clearly misunderstood - is one of my husband's favorite phrases, actually (he's married to me, I know, SHUDUP!)

Makes no sense, right?  Sort of like a house wife.  What is she, once she leaves the house; does she become a part-time wife; if she drives a car, is she cheating on the house; does anyone else spend way too much time thinking about stupid stuff, like this?

Or, the bigger question (in my mind) does it really matter?

"What do you mean, you got a job?"

Apparently, to some of my children, it really does.

"Who's gonna stay at home, with us?"

Yes, I got a job...well, if you consider working 2 1/2 hours, 3 times a week, a job, I mean...but, it DOES mean actually leaving the house and, you know, getting paid!

"I will, silly." 

Once again, I was clearly misunderstood.

"Phew, I thought you said you got a job?"

See what I mean?

"Yes, I start next week!"

I swear, you could hear all 4 of their gorgeous little minds, slam on their imaginary brakes and, truth be told, I was feeling a little guilty about finding amusement in their mass confusion.

"GAH...but, you said...d'oh, I don't get!"

I mean, it should be easy enough to explain:

• Yes, mommy got a job.
• No, not like daddy's. 
• Yes, I will be getting paid. 
• No, I will not have any vacation, or sick days.
• Yes, I have to get dressed and leave the house.
• No, I will not be home for soccer practice, or girl scouts.
• Yes, I will be home for dinner, or when you're home sick, from school.
• No, you can't come with me.
• Yes, it's a real job.

Then, there's the whole SAHM thing:

• Yes, I will be home, during the day, mostly.
• No, I can't go to work in my pajamas.
• Yes, I will be getting paid, on time and FOR REAL!
• No, it STILL won't get us to Disney...yet.
• Yes, I still get to keep my day job, mostly.
• No, I don't know how I will find the time, either.
• Yes, I am very excited.
• No, I don't feel guilty.
• Yes, I feel guilt.

Clearly, I'm unclear about my feelings. 

Perhaps it's time for a new acronym -- besides SAHMMA, you know, the one I created, yesterday, I mean -- something that describes, rather than defines, a mother's right to decide what works best for her, and/or her family.

Either way, IMHO -- in my humble opinion -- no, it really doesn't matter.

The job?

I don't know how to describe it, other than, it involves hanging out with a bunch of sweaty women and trying, real hard, not to break any really expensive exercise equipment.

"No, seriously, mom, you, a fitness instructor?"

Sort of.

[pause for laughter]

I start next week!

© 2009 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.

Comments

[Monica]

Well despite the inner conflict you are having.. I hope you have fun! :)

[Melisa]

OMG you got a job at a gym! Congrats!

I'm calling you...

[Headless Mom]

Cool! I've been keeping my eyes peeled for a pt job, too. Something that I can just do and leave there. Getting to work out while you're at it? Even better!

[romi]

I loved this post! I just went back to work 2 months ago and had the same conversation with my kids. I love seeing the SAHM, WOH mom lists of answers side by side.

Good luck to you!!!
*btw - I LOVE WORKING AGAIN - despite the usual conflicts..like missing the halloween haunted house volunteer job I was supposed to do!!!

[NYCityMama]

Cool! Someone I can see about my fat ass...oh wait...the would entail getting out of my PJS and cheating on my apt with my car and worse yet..leaving the house. Um..well...CONGRATULATIONS anyway!

[kim @ mommyknows]

Good for you Liz!

I'll tell you what, if you worked at my gym ... I'd actually turn up. Obviously they know a good thing when they see it!

[Jamie]

OH OH OH Congrats!!!! :)

Hey, sounds perfect. Seriously! Smooch

[patois]

Good luck. Hope it works out really well for you all.

[mannequin]

Oh Liz... I'm happy for you! That's the thing about a part time job, ya know? Do you fall into a new category now? How shall you be labeled?
I tried working part time and I quit very quickly. For me, it seemed like the perfect solution. However, I found that everyone at home considered it not to be a real job so I got no help on the home front. Ya know? I quit.

Hope it's just what you want and a gym? That's great!

[Stacey @ Tree, Root, and Twig]

First of all, the pic is gorgeous! :)

Second, I love this post! Especially as I've been re-examining the whole SAHM "title" for myself, too. Way to voice what so many of us are feeling, too.

Good luck next week!

[Liz@thisfullhouse]

Hey mannequin,

That's the thing; I was telling my in-laws about the job during dinner this weekend and how I've already had my hours increased, to 4 hours, 3 times a week, before even starting, which, of course, means more milk money in our pockets.� However, my FIL's first reaction was, "But, that's going to cause a problem for you during dinnertime."� Of course, I realize that.� And, I know he was right.� Bottom line, there's going to be a trade off, no matter what.� Not that the kids won't eat.� I mean, pre-planning meals, cooking ahead of time, stuff that folks have been doing forever.� Either way, deciding whether to stay-at-home or work is never an easy one, is it?� Rather than flexibility, we're exercising the concept of stretchibility at our
house.

Hugs,

Liz

�

[Liz@thisfullhouse]

Aaaand, what the hell is with all the ???? Sheesh!

Liz

[FireMom]

Aren't our lives interesting?

BB doesn't believe I work at the newspaper yet. He laughs. Hmm.

[Marie]

Congrats on the job. Working at a gym sounds like fun. Of course, working out at a gym sounds like fun too. No time with three kids and job. My husband is the stay-at-home dad (oxymoron recognized) & I work. So I spend all my time away from work trying to convince my kids that dad isn't mommy. I blog about it at http://wifeofhousehubby.blogspot.com.

[MotherOfBun]

Congrats! This is so exciting. YEAY you. And your arms? They are fabulous and toned. (And enviable.)

[Nicole (SAHM Reviews)]

Congrats, Liz. I totally missed this post... actually, several posts. I've had several days of trying to log onto your blog but nothing loads. So glad you linked on Facebook!

Good luck with the new job and with maintaining family sanity at the same time!