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Just Don't Get Me Monologuing, Okay?

Nothing Beats a First Snot-Swapping!

My husband, Garth (not his real name) attended a business-related event, last night (yes, without me, go figure) so, the kids and I were on our own for dinner (codeword:  pizza) and then settled in to watch one of my most favorite movies of all time.

Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler in 50 First Dates

All 3 of my girls were absolutely enthralled with the idea of 50 First Dates and sort of fell a little in love with Adam Sandler's character, as he attempted to make Drew Barrymore's character fall in love with him...every day.

Rob Schneider in 50 First Dates
My 12-year-old son, however, thought Rob Schneider's performance as pure genius, of course.

"Didn't you say you dated a guy like that, once, Mom?"

Long story, short (you're welcome) no, it's not the first time we've watched this movie together and yes, yes I did, although he had both his eyes, the dude was missing a couple of teeth and wore Elmer's glue, instead of hair gel, don't judge.

"What was your first kiss like?"

"Well, his gums were a little slippery and his hair kept poking me in the eye."

[eyes go wide]

"No, NOT HIM and EWWWW, I mean with Daddy?"

I knew what she meant.  After approximately 8 years worth of no sleep, trust me when I tell you messing with teenagers is AWESOME!

"Actually, I don't remember."

Yes I do.  But, seeing as my oldest girls are well within acceptable dating range (mine, not my husband's) they don't need to know, right?

"I do, I do!"

My 9 year-old, however, was born old and, well, being the youngest of 4 just makes having to explain the birds and the bees stuff a whole lot easier, you know?

"You sneezed snot all over him, right?"

Not quite.

Even longer story, shorter (seriously, you should be thanking me) here's a quick synopsis:

  • We met on a blind date.
  • Went to the movies.
  • Movie turned sad.
  • I cried.
  • Movie turned sadder.
  • I sobbed.
  • Clearly, they called it Dead Poet's Society for a reason.
  • I blew snot.
  • Garth (NHRN) handed me his handkerchief.
  • HONK!
  • Tried to hand it back to him.
  • Told me to keep it.
  • I was hooked.
  • The end.

2 months later, he proposed.  Garth (NHRN) and I were married 13 months after our first date and, well, 4 kids later, suffice it to say we've both sort of grown comfortable with each other's snot.

"Do you still have the handkerchief?"


"Ummmmm...I don't think so."

[one beat, two beats]

"Good, because that would just be SOOOOOOO weird!"

Yes, yes it would and apparently, according to my kids, even for me, go figure.

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