Parenting Tip #2,189,562: Talking to Your Kids About Sex, Drive and Let Them Do ALL the Talking FIRST!

I was in the 5th grade when we were herded into gym class to watch someone's mother (or, maybe she was an older sister, I forget) as she wrestled with a "sanitary belt" (I know, I'm old, shuddup!) and we wondered what in the heck the boys were doing, right at that moment.

I first French-kissed a boy in the 6th grade, in between a chain-linked fence that separated the baseball field from the basketball courts and spent the next few weeks in absolute terror until one of my friends finally convinced me that...uh, no and DER!...you can NOT get pregnant from kissing.

Aaaand, thus ends the extent of my education into womanhood.

Then, I had children and I swore up, down and sideways that MY kids will not be afraid to ask me ANYTHING about, well, EVERYTHING!

"Mom, what's an erection."

Except, this one time when I jerked the steering wheel (no pun intended) and missed hitting a telephone pole by this much true story.  I nearly wet my pants.

Aaaaanyway, now that my youngest is 10 (wait...I'm pretty sure...ummmmm...okay...yes, that's right) I'm waaaaaay better fielding such questions AND avoiding road hazards.

"Mom, what's a sex drive?"

DAMMIT!  My youngest and I were listening to the radio while my son and his friend dropped off a video, game or something that we owed money for (no doubt) but, I wasn't paying much attention to the commercials.

"Um....what?!?"

Obviously.

"They said folks taking this medicine may experience a decrease in their sex drive."

So, I go over a few possibilities in my head thinking, "Okay.  Relax.  You CAN do this!" and let loose a whole slew of ummmmm's and uhhhhh's before finally deciding on my final answer.

"It's how your body lets you know it wants to have sex."

Aaaaaand, figuring that this is where Dr. Phil would rip me a new one for being THAT fool parent, I got all clinical about hormones and how sometimes we can't always control our bodies, no matter how hard we try and then started giggling (I said hard) but, did manage to compose myself long enough to stress that she probably didn't have to worry about it...just yet.

"PHEW!!!"

Poor thing seemed very relieved and I was thankful to be able to help ease her tween angst, just a little.

"I thought it was maybe like a blood drive."

[blank stare]

"Where they set up beds for people to, you know, do it."

Aaaaand, then there I went, nearly wetting my pants (again) this time, laughing my fool head off and good thing we were parked at the time...right?

© 2003 - 2012 This Full House

 

Comments

[Melisa]

I remember writing an entry in my diary--true story--that said something like "My mom gave me a menstruation starter kit today with pads and a pink belt and EVERYTHING!"

It's the little things I guess. *cringing*

Well, it's a good thing you were there to answer Hope's question: her original thoughts on sex drives could have caused all kinds of, uh, confusion!

[Boston Mamas]

Oh boy. The things I can look forward to! Though I must say, I talk very plainly and openly (in age appropriate terms) with Laurel about the human body. We just recently had a conversation about the fact that pee and babies don't come from the same place. I wish I had recorded it. :-)

[Elizabeth@Table4Five]

Like a blood drive!! Bwahahahahaha!!!

When I got my period, my Mom gave me one of those kits like Melisa mentioned, with the belt and the pads that threaded through the loops. I could not believe she expected me to wear it under my tight jeans. We went to the drugstore pretty much immediately lol.

I dole out information to my boys when something comes up in conversation and I feel I have insight to share. Like when we talked about how girls are much more emotional in general about intimacy, and that even a hug could mean a lot more to them than it does a boy. My goal is to raise boys who respect girls and don't take advantage of their feelings. Hopefully some of what I'm saying is sinking in.

[Shannon]

Some of this stuff is so hard to explain. My daughter (7) loves to watch "What Not to Wear." Tonight the woman told Stacy & Clinton that she bought most of her clothes in an "adult" store. Stacy & Clinton balked. My girl then asked me, "What's wrong with buying clothes in an adult store?" I can't even tell you how hard it is to explain "adult store" to a 7 year old.

[Heather]

I have no idea what you guys are talking about with those belt thingies and all that :P Your daughter is HILARIOUS. I seriously laughed so hard.

[Diana]

Like a Blood Drive is the best answer to they question, EVER. OMG! HAHAHAHA!

[Linda Bradley]

It was so difficult for my husband and I to have 'the talk' with our child. It's almost as if were are in denial that our daughter is growing up and should know such terms. As difficult as it is to continue to have this conversation, we found some great help on http://onlineceucredit.com/edu/social-work-ceus-ce to cope with teaching our daughter about sex.