When it comes to parenting (because, really, raising 3 teens and 1 tween, there really isn't much else going on up in here...dammit!) my husband, Garth (not his real name) and I have reached an understanding.
Aaaaaaaand, if any of my kids are reading this (because, really, nothing is sacred...DAMMIT!) this is where you guys need to click away...m'kay?
[blows bangs out of eyes]
Okay, are they gone? Good.
It's simple, really. Which is a good thing, because I'm not very good with un-simple (yes, it's a word) because...SQUIRREL!!!
[BAM!]
Aaaaaaaand, that should take care of any trolls, clicking around the internets looking for some action...NOPE, NOTHING CONTROVERSIAL GOING NO HERE.
[SLAM!]
We'll just wait a few more seconds. Just. To. Be. Sure. Oooooo-kaaaaaay, ready?
[rolls up sleeves, clears throat]
It's sort of like a good cop/bad cop thing: he tries (really, really hard, btw) not to go all BAT GUANO about the little things (like, the rechargeable batteries are NOT in the rechargeable battery thingy...true story, just a couple of days ago...and OMG!) while I pretend NOT TO FLIP THE FRIG-OUT when stuff goes REAL BAD.
Day before yesterday (I think) stuff got REAL BAD.
"You okay?"
Poor guy, here he was expecting me to FLIP THE FRIG-OUT, had the puke bucket ready and everything.
"I'm fine."
The REAL BAD stuff I'm speaking of isn't happening directly to me...[knocking on wood until knuckles bleed]...but to two people I love very much...who are being very, very brave about it, btw...and would most likely forgive me for FLIPPING THE FRIG-OUT...for them...because, well, it's how I roll.
Instead, something pretty good happened. We laughed. Okay, fine, I laugh-snorted.
Point being, as bad as this particular piece of news was (trust me, it was real guano-y) I listened to these two very brave people cracking jokes, making me laugh-snort and trying their darnedest to convince ME that it was okay?
Yeah, reality check...multiple pieces of emotional baggage...please.
It made me realize that the stuff that Garth (NHRN) and I have been going through, for the last few months, is no where even in the vicinity of being REAL BAD!
Besides, if you worrying about something bad happening (and I realize that everyone has stuff, with many different and very, very complicated levels of bad) chances are, it will happen.
Karma has a sick sense of humor, like that...[whispering...the bastard]...so, why don't we all decide to dread something that we really, really want instead, like:
- Gosh, but I hope Keeping Up With the Kardashians doesn't get canceled.
- Can you imagine going a whole year without a car repair...OMG!?!?!
- I don't think I can take another day of losing more weight.
- Or keeping a job.
- There goes the phone again, I really hope it's bad news.
- OH MAN! It would be absolutely AWFUL if somehow we managed to find a way to finally take the kids to Disney.
- Geez, I really hope something REALLY BAD happens today.
For starters, anyways. Okay, your turn...oh, and...HOLY GUANO, PERISH THE THOUGHT!!!...you know, just in case.
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