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October 2012

Twas The Night Before #Snor'eastercane

Hurricane Sandy
Having lived in Jersey all of my life, I feel it safe to say that we East Coasters are used to freakish weather, experiencing all 4 seasons, sometimes ALL in the same day.

This week, however, I am pretty convinced that surviving the Zombie Apocalypse has got nuh'thin' on the monster that is Hurricane Sandy.

Thanks to the Weather Channel, I now have apocalyptic catch phrases running around in my head like:  #Frankenstorm, #Blizzicane and my personal favorite: #Snor'eastercane.

Sounds like a friggin' hybrid holiday, yes?

So, in an effort to get Jim Cantore out of my head (dude, it's way too crowded up there already) I present to you, Twas The Night Before #Snor'eastercane:

Continue reading "Twas The Night Before #Snor'eastercane" »

© This Full House 2003-2016. All rights reserved.

The Nightmare Before Christmas, Halloween House

Not for nothing, but we used to do holidays BIG here at This Full House of crunchy floors and stinky socks, sometimes decorating months in advance.

Actually, I may or may not have forgotten to take down last year's [insert upcoming holiday, here] decorations and, well, a few months more and I'd have to dig them out again anyway, right?

Then life happened and holidays just sort of started going all #FUBAR, for one reason or twenty. 

The Dead Pumpkin 2007
Halloween 2007:  I carved the pumpkin way too early and, well, it was gross and swarming with gnats by the end of the month.  So, I just left it out and pretended...yeah, sure...we meant for it to look all gross, just in time for Halloween!

Heather 2008
2008 will forever go down as the bloodiest Halloween, EVUH:  when my middle girl's butt exploded, literally and we'll just go ahead and skip right over 2009, if you don't mind, m'kay?

Corn mazing
Halloween 2010 was the last time all 4 of my kids went pumpkin hunting, together:  because, clearly, I was the only one having fun.  

This time, last year?  I was positively morose.  My youngest was graduating 5th grade and, well it was my baaaaaaayyyyyybeeeeeeeee's LAST Halloween parade.

Although I did remember to bring my camera, I totally FORGOT to check the stupid sd card.  #dumbass

Glen and Hope I don't remember when
Wait!  Here is a really cute picture of Hope (and Glen) from I don't remember when.

"Are we going to put up any Halloween decorations, this year?"

Ugh.  Right.  So, I can't help but feel like my youngest daughter is getting the short end of [enter upcoming holiday, here].

"Right now, want to help?"

So, last Sunday, Hope and I hit the Dollar Store for some last-minute...is THAT realy all we got for Halloween...stuff and took to task getting our house looking all fall-ish and festive-like.

Pumpkins
Because dead geraniums are sooo spooky, yes?

Hope and I got it ALL up and Halloween-ish by the time my two oldest girls got home from work later that afternoon. 

Halloween 2012

I know, it's not like it's going to win an award or anything and, truth be told, my neighbors probably won't even really notice the difference, from any other day.  Still.  Hope and I had a really great time and we may or may not have gotten a little carried away with the spider webbing.

"The spiders are going to have a party!"

Good.  One less decoration to worry about, right?!?  In fact, throw in a couple of red and green hats, a few jingle-y bells and we've got us some pumpkin elves.

What?!?  I sort of like the idea of our being the Nightmare Before Christmas House, right?!?  RIGHT?!?

[sound of crickets, chirping]

Whatever.  Eat your heart out, Martha!

[blanke stare]

Martha Stewart, I mean, not Jenn @TheNextMartha <---- that woman OWNS Halloween!

© 2003 - 2012 This Full House

© This Full House 2003-2016. All rights reserved.

Making Strides Against Breast Cancer, Jersey Style

When my sister-in-law asked me if I would walk with her at the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer event in Point Pleasant Beach, two thoughts immediately came to mind:

  • Yes.
  • Of course.

I've been taking my kids to Jenkinson's boardwalk since they were babies and, more importantly, with my sister-in-law's recent scare and my twin brother facing yet another surgery (next week) I am always up for the chance to kick cancer's ass...anywhere...b*tch...ANYTIME!...Jersey style.

Making Strides startWhile the rest of my family was all...like...ummmm...that's really, really great...but...uhhhh...you do realize that...you know...walking will be involved.

3.1 miles to be exact and, although a lot of folks I know run a 5k before breakfast, it seems my borked-up back has compromised my already less than graceful walking skills.

Tripping over air is one thing (which I am very good at, btw), gravity getting all stabby once my foot hits the ground the wrong way can be real gosh-darned inconvenient.

Making Strides fight like a girl

Then again, I have seen way too many of my family and friends suffer through the bitch that is cancer.  Judging by the awesome turnout, who showed on perhaps the most beautiful Sunday in the record of Sundays in October, we were ALL looking to kick some cancer-ass.

Making Strides dude with pink beardOn this particular day, everyone's signature color was pink and it was SO difficult for me to NOT stare at that dude up there (although, dude, think of it as my admiring your awesomeness) or not wonder about the story, behind the beard.

Making Strides walkingThe t-shirts, that was another story, multiplied by the thousands:  pictures of loved ones captioned with declarations of eternal remembrance and hundreds upon hundreds of teams, helping to raise money for the cause, rallying on for those who continue to fight, made this for a truly bittersweet experience.Making Strides along the beachWe continued to walk, mostly in silence, sometimes talking all at once, as I pointed out our favorite spots on the beach or the stands where the kids and I first discovered fried Oreos and zeppoles.Mile 2Around mile 2 a beautiful monarch butterfly appeared to follow along with the crowd, dipping and weaving gracefully over a sea of pink, now stretching out in front of us for as far as our eyes could see.

My sister-in-law and I turned to each other, smiled and agreed:  it was most probably someone's loved one, rooting them on.

My cell phone did not make it to mile 3 (damnit!) BUT I DID!!!  Considering I had 17,000 of my fellow-Jerseyites to lean on, how could I not?!?

This morning, I received a text message from my sister-in-law:  co-worker walked w/team yesterday in honor of her friend's mom who died from breast cancer.  Symbol for the mom is a butterfly.

Enough said.

© 2003 - 2012 This Full House

© This Full House 2003-2016. All rights reserved.

The Only Thing Better Than NOW! Is If I Had It 5 Minutes Ago © Garth (not his real name)!

I'm not a very patient person:  when it comes to making stuff work right (the first 20 times) or whenever I get it into my head to do something, it's either NOW or...SQUIRREL!!!

[stares blankly out window, scratches behind ear]

BEEP!  BEEP!  BEEP!  BEEP!

Oh yeah, and I seemed to have picked up another habit from my husband, Garth (not his real name):  feeling the need to locate and then identify unexplained noises around the house because...OMG!...WHAT IS IT with all the BEEPING this morning?!?

"It's Hope's cell phone."

Which is actually Garth's (NHRN) old cell phone.  Because it's old (in cell phone years) and continually beeps whenever a text message goes unanswered.  Which is one of the reasons why he got a new one because...OMG!!! THE BEEPING!!!

Now that I think on it some more, I'm really the only person who texts him, continually.  Seriously, don't you HATE IT when your text messages go unanswered?!?

[sound of crickets chirping]

Aaaaaanyway, he picks up Hope's cell phone and proceeds to read the message (she's 11, enough said):

"Hope my mom took phone away I just got it back."

It was from one of her "guy" friends (gahdfuhbid you call him a boyfriend) and, although he did not scroll through the rest of the messages (just in case Hope is reading this, right now!), we could JUST imagine the context of the conversation:

  • Text #1:  Hey, So-and-So, you going to the Halloween dance?
  • Text #2:  Because, I might go.
  • Text #3:  Or I might not go.
  • Text #4:  Or, I might.
  • Text #5:  You going?
  • Text #6:  To the dance?
  • Text #7:  Helllllllllllooooooo?!?
  • Text #8:  What, now you're not answering any of my texts?
  • Text #20:  You're DEAD to me now!

SNORT!  That last one was Garth's (NHRN) idea and that's when my husband came up with the perfect catchphrase to describe our youngest daughter.

"Hey, that would make a pretty good blog post title."

I realize that most folks probably won't consider this conversation even a quarter as funny as we did this morning, however, far be it from me to miss an opportunity of increasing my "Break curfew again and I'll show your boyfriend my blog," arsenal.

"Aaaand, I want credit for it too!"

So be it.

[see blog post title]

PHEW!  I am SO GLAD that it's NOW out of my...SQUIRREL!!!

© 2003 - 2012 This Full House

© This Full House 2003-2016. All rights reserved.

The Walking Dead-ish

I love a good old-fashioned ghost story:  stuff like The Sixth Sense, Woman in Black and Paranormal Activity can really get my adrenaline pumping and then I start hollering stuff like, "Oh, you do NOT want to go in there" and "Turn around, turn around, they are RIGHT BEHIND YOU, dammit"!

Which is probably why it is a pretty good idea that I wait until these type of movies are released on DVD.

I just get myself too involved in the storyline and, more often than not, would end up...you know...more dead-ish than not.

Which is why I am not a BIG fan of zombie movies:  unless we're talking The Walking Dead and, well, "Turn around, turn around, they are RIGHT BEHIND YOU, dammit"!

Alright, so maybe there are worse things to worry about than a Zombie Apocalypse and...YES!...real life is A LOT more scary (especially, if you have teens) unless we're talking The Walking Dead.

"Turn around, turn around, they are RIGHT BEHIND YOU, dammit!"

My husband, Garth and I watched the premiere of Season 3 last night and even my 13 year-old son was all, like, CHILL OUT MOM!

"Oh, you do NOT want to go in there!"

The really, REALLY scary thing about The Walking Dead -- besides the fact that I would have totally made the same mistake, gone in through THAT door and...BAM!...instant zombie smorgasbord -- is the realization that I could very easily be mistaken as...you know...being one of them:

Zombified_wb20121015085042473338Glazed-over, zombie-like eyes -- could be just a matter of excessive protein build-up or chronic progressive conjunctivitis, you're welcome.

Loss of coherent speech -- I live with 3 teens, enough said.

Rate of physical decomposition has increased -- you just wait until YOU turn 40-something, you little jerk.

Walk with a slow, erratic and in an unusually lumbering way -- dumbass sciatica, stupid herniated discs.

Always hungry -- friggin' ravenous even, stupid mid-life metabolism.

Tendency to stumble over obstacles and through solid walls -- which is a rather frequent and normal occurrence, when you're severely near-sided and have misplaced your glasses, again?!?

Moral of the Story:  don't be hating on us zombies and, if you think THAT'S scary, you really should see my teens, first thing on a Monday morning.

"Turn around, turn around, they are RIGHT BEHIND YOU, dammit"!

TURNING!!!  WALL!!!  SLAM!!!  ZOMBIE SMORGASBORD!!!

"Ughmath thughca, oohpih woonthid iiiiiith!"

Translation:  dumbass sciatica, stupid herniated discs.

© 2003 - 2012 This Full House

© This Full House 2003-2016. All rights reserved.

Let's Get Political, Or Not Just Yet

I did not watch the Biden/Ryan debate, last night.  Not for the lack of wanting, just didn't think about it until it was very nearly over.  I did, however, catch the last few minutes of the political debates streaming through Twitter and Facebook.

I should have stayed off Twitter and Facebook.

To tell you the truth, I do not know enough about politics to justify my posting about politics.  In fact, helping my 11 year-old study for her Civics test made me realize just how little I understand how our government is run -- yes, that is indeed very unfortunate.

Oh, I have my opinions and possibly even some of which align very closely with yours (just maybe) and yet the issues that concern me the most (which, quite frankly, probably involve the welfare of my family) may not hold any interest for you...whatsoever...and that is to be expected.

Then, it got ugly.  Not that I was surprised at the lack of civility and I do so admire the passion of political pundits (mostly) but there was this one tweet:

"To those of you who are still undecided, you haven't been paying attention!"

Oh, I know, and no it's not the worst anyone could say (especially, to me) and if you are ready to walk into that voting booth...right now...and make your choice...without a single regret or worry...then I am very, very happy for (and proud of) you.

All I ask in return is for you to respect the fact that some of us are just not there yet.

It's not a matter of choosing chocolate over vanilla (I pick strawberry!) or simply picking one team over another (go Giants!) making assumptions about knowing EXACTLY what is in people's minds or hearts, judged solely by the choices they haven't even made (yet) is just plain ignorant.

Then I saw the headline of some "odd political psa" featuring Sean Penn and Kid Rock and, well, check it out:

 

Warning: may not be suitable viewing for everyone, has expletives.

Okay, yeah it's a little creepy, sort of corny and, pfffttt, I can certainly relate with that.  Still, the message is a very simple one and, well, I get it.

Thank you very much for your kind consideration and so ends my pundit blogging career (you're welcome!) remember to vote for strawberry.

© 2003 - 2012 This Full House

© This Full House 2003-2016. All rights reserved.

Learning From Our Mistakes-101

Scaling the Walls
Learning to walk his hard, learning to fall is even harder.

Please feel free to visit with me over at my Gone Shopping blog and read more about:  why I can't help but feel that life would be a little easier if Learning From Our Mistakes-101 were a requirement, rather than an elective...for parents, too...when you have time, of course.

© 2003 - 2012 This Full House

© This Full House 2003-2016. All rights reserved.