The Walking Dead-ish
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The Only Thing Better Than NOW! Is If I Had It 5 Minutes Ago © Garth (not his real name)!

I'm not a very patient person:  when it comes to making stuff work right (the first 20 times) or whenever I get it into my head to do something, it's either NOW or...SQUIRREL!!!

[stares blankly out window, scratches behind ear]

BEEP!  BEEP!  BEEP!  BEEP!

Oh yeah, and I seemed to have picked up another habit from my husband, Garth (not his real name):  feeling the need to locate and then identify unexplained noises around the house because...OMG!...WHAT IS IT with all the BEEPING this morning?!?

"It's Hope's cell phone."

Which is actually Garth's (NHRN) old cell phone.  Because it's old (in cell phone years) and continually beeps whenever a text message goes unanswered.  Which is one of the reasons why he got a new one because...OMG!!! THE BEEPING!!!

Now that I think on it some more, I'm really the only person who texts him, continually.  Seriously, don't you HATE IT when your text messages go unanswered?!?

[sound of crickets chirping]

Aaaaaanyway, he picks up Hope's cell phone and proceeds to read the message (she's 11, enough said):

"Hope my mom took phone away I just got it back."

It was from one of her "guy" friends (gahdfuhbid you call him a boyfriend) and, although he did not scroll through the rest of the messages (just in case Hope is reading this, right now!), we could JUST imagine the context of the conversation:

  • Text #1:  Hey, So-and-So, you going to the Halloween dance?
  • Text #2:  Because, I might go.
  • Text #3:  Or I might not go.
  • Text #4:  Or, I might.
  • Text #5:  You going?
  • Text #6:  To the dance?
  • Text #7:  Helllllllllllooooooo?!?
  • Text #8:  What, now you're not answering any of my texts?
  • Text #20:  You're DEAD to me now!

SNORT!  That last one was Garth's (NHRN) idea and that's when my husband came up with the perfect catchphrase to describe our youngest daughter.

"Hey, that would make a pretty good blog post title."

I realize that most folks probably won't consider this conversation even a quarter as funny as we did this morning, however, far be it from me to miss an opportunity of increasing my "Break curfew again and I'll show your boyfriend my blog," arsenal.

"Aaaand, I want credit for it too!"

So be it.

[see blog post title]

PHEW!  I am SO GLAD that it's NOW out of my...SQUIRREL!!!

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