The Only Thing Better Than NOW! Is If I Had It 5 Minutes Ago © Garth (not his real name)!

I'm not a very patient person:  when it comes to making stuff work right (the first 20 times) or whenever I get it into my head to do something, it's either NOW or...SQUIRREL!!!

[stares blankly out window, scratches behind ear]

BEEP!  BEEP!  BEEP!  BEEP!

Oh yeah, and I seemed to have picked up another habit from my husband, Garth (not his real name):  feeling the need to locate and then identify unexplained noises around the house because...OMG!...WHAT IS IT with all the BEEPING this morning?!?

"It's Hope's cell phone."

Which is actually Garth's (NHRN) old cell phone.  Because it's old (in cell phone years) and continually beeps whenever a text message goes unanswered.  Which is one of the reasons why he got a new one because...OMG!!! THE BEEPING!!!

Now that I think on it some more, I'm really the only person who texts him, continually.  Seriously, don't you HATE IT when your text messages go unanswered?!?

[sound of crickets chirping]

Aaaaaanyway, he picks up Hope's cell phone and proceeds to read the message (she's 11, enough said):

"Hope my mom took phone away I just got it back."

It was from one of her "guy" friends (gahdfuhbid you call him a boyfriend) and, although he did not scroll through the rest of the messages (just in case Hope is reading this, right now!), we could JUST imagine the context of the conversation:

• Text #1:  Hey, So-and-So, you going to the Halloween dance?
• Text #2:  Because, I might go.
• Text #3:  Or I might not go.
• Text #4:  Or, I might.
• Text #5:  You going?
• Text #6:  To the dance?
• Text #7:  Helllllllllllooooooo?!?
• Text #8:  What, now you're not answering any of my texts?
• Text #20:  You're DEAD to me now!

SNORT!  That last one was Garth's (NHRN) idea and that's when my husband came up with the perfect catchphrase to describe our youngest daughter.

"Hey, that would make a pretty good blog post title."

I realize that most folks probably won't consider this conversation even a quarter as funny as we did this morning, however, far be it from me to miss an opportunity of increasing my "Break curfew again and I'll show your boyfriend my blog," arsenal.

"Aaaand, I want credit for it too!"

So be it.

[see blog post title]

PHEW!  I am SO GLAD that it's NOW out of my...SQUIRREL!!!

© 2003 - 2012 This Full House

Comments

[Tara R.]

Neither of my men folk are good about answering their text messages, but gahdfuhbid if I don't.

I had to ask my son recently what the beeping I heard was coming from, and he had to point out it was a bird. I don't get out much.

[Liz@ThisFullHouse]

You know, come to think of it, I don't get out much either Tara and that may just be my problem...okay, one of many...and what IS IT with ALL THE BEEPING?!?

[Tracie]

The beeping would drive me crazy. I can't stand phantom beeping.

The worst thing is when my neighbors have loudly beeping things in their bedroom (shard walls = fail) and I can't do anything to turn them off. aaah.

I totally just made your blog post about my issues.

Nothing to see here. Squirrel!

[Liz@ThisFullHouse]

No worries, Tracie.  Mi casa, es su casa -- mi issues, es su issues :)

[Melisa]

hahahaha!

Would you believe that Jim has the SAME OBSESSION with household noises? I bet you would. We really need to get together and introduce Garth (NHRN) and Jim. I have a feeling they'd get along famously.

Those texts are longer than many of the one's I've seen on J's phone. Lots of them just say "K".

[Liz@ThisFullHouse]

See, now Melisa I just knew you would see the humor behind our conversation...seeing as we are married to the same man...whose turn is to take out the garbage, tonight?

[Yum Yucky]

ha! those texts. young love just cracks me up.
Our carbon monoxide detector starting beeping in the middle of last night. Freaked me out real good. Evacuate the house?? Turns out 3 beeps = equipment malfunction. At least the malfunctioner was good enough to let us know it was screwed up. I almost ran outside naked.

[Liz@ThisFullHouse]

HAH!  I would totally have almost ran outside naked ;)  Stupid beeping stuff!

[longchamps]

Ha! Nope, these could be my so next over-ear handsets, but for $150, not any $350 they can be selling for new....