It's All Fun and Games, Until the Clowns Show Up

photo credit: TVParty.com

I have suffered from insomnia for most of my life (yes, that is a very long time, I know, shuddup!)  however, rather than fight it, I see it as a gift and make all of those extra sleepless hours as productive as possible.

PSYCHE!!!!!!!  

Bwahahahahahahaha...I crack myself up...you seriously did NOT think I was serious, seriously, right?!?

The ONLY thing productive at dark o'clock is the gerbil, running its eleventy-hundreth little iron gerbil marathon, inside my head.

It's not like I'm not tired, either.  In fact, my body clock quits work sometime around 4 in the afternoon and my eyes punch out no later than that really, really great television series EVERYBODY has been talking about and I've been dying to watch...DAMMIT.

For example:  last night, there was something on television I wanted to watch (of course I can't remember, for the life of me, what it was, but that's not really all that important at his juncture of my insomnia story)  so, I went upstairs to get my glasses.

I had to lie across the bed to reach them.  Aaaaaand, well, I never got up.  Or, came back downstairs.  Until I had to go pee at dark o'clock.

Did I mention, our bathroom is downstairs and way across the OTHER end of the house?!?

By the time I got back upstairs, the gerbil inside my head had already finished with its warm-up exercises and I began to rearrange the ENTIRE floor plan (of the house, not my head)  in my head.

So, I did what any red-blooded insomniac would do:  I hit Facebook...HARD!...and a really funny  (not ha-ha-funny, but more like, hmmmmm...interesting)  thing occurred to me.

I am NOT the only one awake at dark o'clock.  I see Kim, Jenn and Elizabeth.  

That reminds me.  Does anyone remember the magic mirror?!?  Gosh, but I used to LOVE that show.  Even though the magic mirror NEVER saw me...DAMMIT!

[sound of crickets, chirping]

I see Robyn.  Oh, and I see my friend Lisa...YO!!!!...was up at the SAME exact time I am, right now.

"If asleep by 9, awake at 3:39." Did Ben Franklin write that...

So, I commented with something like, good morning, because I am ALL witty AND original like that, especially at dark o'clock.

"Hi Liz!  I wish I could vacuum..."

And then I snorted...REALLY LOUD...and, well, I better go before Garth (not his real name) wakes up and I have to pretend like it was the house farting, or something...SNORT!!!

[cringe]

Dammit.

© 2003 - 2013 This Full House

Comments

[ascapecodturns]

I hope you included a new bathroom in your new floor plan....or a chamber pot. I think it's the length that you have to travel to the bathroom that is your problem :)
And yes, I remember that creepy magic mirror. Shudder.

[Liz@ThisFullHouse]

It is a hike, chamber pot may be the way to go.  Then again, I'd probably forget the chamber pot was there and, well, you can well imagine the rest, right Sue?!?

[LanaJoseph @ Italian shirt]

Don't worry about it so much most of us have the same problem and walking alone alone in the dark scares me a lot.

[Tracie]

I have found that waking up at 5am (on purpose) has solved a lot of my life-long insomnia issues. Of course, waking up at 5am on purpose is rather crazy, so I probably shouldn't recommend it as a course of action to anyone, lest I spread my apparent insanity.