Gold Digger, Noun, Someone Who Picks Their Nose
Girl Scout Cookies Are Evil, We Must Eat Them!

Don't Have a Speaking Paper, GET ONE!

The warm-ish, cold-ish, back to warm-ish, make up your mind, already, ding-dang weather has kicked off Hope's croup (a.k.a. the creeping crud), which usually means:

  • She will cough the entire night
  • She will lose her voice
  • And then she will throw up

Lovely, yes?  Don't worry, she's used to it.  Me?  Not so much.  I don't do well with throw up.  Never have.  When it comes to the kids getting sick, Garth (not his real name) has been my go to, as the...ummmm...throw up handler?  Puke wrangler?  Chumming buddy?

[blank stare]

The Speaking PaperSoooooo, aaaaanyway, poor thing got sick in school.  On the way home, I asked her if she was able to keep her lunch down.

"Yes, until I coughed up the goober that got stuck in my throat and my lunch decided to play follow the leader."

I love this kid.  She just cracks me up.

"Aaaaaand, I had to write a speaking paper."

Long story, short (you're welcome!) Hope lost her voice in school and decided it would behoove her teachers that she make a list of common phrases she uses throughout the day:

  • Can I go to the bathroom?
  • Can I get a drink?
  • Can I go to the nurse?
  • Can you repeat that?
  • I don't understand.
  • Thank you!

I thought it was soooooo funny (especially, the part where she thought "I don't understand" not as rude as asking people to repeat themselves!) until I wondered (out loud) what would be on MY speaking paper, to which she answered:

  • Where is your ding-dang coat?
  • What part of "pick up your wet towels" do you NOT understand?
  • The dishwasher IS DIRTY, dangit!
  • Did you do your homework?
  • Get up, you're going to be late! (may or may not be used separately)
  • What do you MEAN you don't have ANY homework?
  • Throw me a bone, people!

Aaaaand, she would have gone on and on...if I hadn't reminded her know...I would be the one taking care of her, for the next few however long it took for her to get over the creeping crud.


She then pointed to the last bullet of her Speaking Paper and, well, now that I think on it some more, I really SHOULD send a thank you note to her teachers, or flowers, maybe even a box of chocolates, a butt load of cough drops, or something, right?!?

Cheeky kid.

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