This Full House

A Post That Has Absolutely Nothing to do With Christmas, Health Care, Housing and Auto Bailouts or My Growing Dependency on Coffee!

Sorry, Google (sort of) but momma's feeling a little cranky, right now and I'm sure that you (yes, YOU!) are getting pretty gosh-darned tired (like me) hearing about all the cuh-ray-zee stuff going on, right now, all over the blogging world.

Makes me wish I was 7-years-old, again (sort of) and pretty much the reason why I decided to send this photo along with our otherwise traditional holiday family greeting -- Mini-me's tongue sticking out, and all!

So, please forgive me, you are not going to find any fodder that would be even remotely perceived as, you know, adult-like.

Nuh-uh, not from me, not this day.

How-wev-vuh, if you had a sucky week (like mine) filled with the type of suckage that even the glass-is-half-full-type people would find, you know, irritating....well, clean off a chair and sit down, I got a face to pick with you!

Cake or Death?

It's been a really difficult week for my husband, Garth (not his real name) what, with all the banking bru-ha-ha of late and STILL trying really hard to reassure his customers that everything is, you know, fine.  Then, driving into work one morning and hearing on the radio that he...um...works for someone else.

Niiiiice.

Then, his uncle was hospitalized and Garth (not his real name) stopped by the soccer fields on Monday, to switch cars with me (mine is better at highway speeds and doesn't rattle as much, like his) so, he could take my MIL up to see her brother, perhaps for the last time, which was a good thing.

[takes deep breath]

Because, he was moved into Hospice on Wednesday and has been pretty much unconscious since then.

Yesterday, Uncle Jimmy lost his battle with THE BITCH that is Cancer and we spent most of last night figuring out the best way to tell the kids.

Garth (not his real name) thought it would be best to wait until the morning and that's when my Hungarian kicked in and I was all, like, break out the wine and let's talk about death, baby!

This Is My Early Morning Singing Song!

Gliddy glub gloopy
Nibby nabby noopy
La la la lo lo...

I'm not a morning person.  I'm a mommy, you know what I mean?  Still.  My husband Garth (not his real name) couldn't care less if I woke up, tomorrow, decided to shave my head and start referring to myself as:

"Hello, my name is Starshine and I AM Mr. Clean's bitch!"

I'm telling you, as weird as it sounds, he'd STILL think I'm sexy.

Why?

Because, my husband is really NOT all that interested in what's going on with my head - yes, he is a very smart man - but, he HAS sung praises of his love for me...from the neck down...many, many times.

Nearly Wordless Wednesday: Catherapy

Cats.  Some people seem like they can't live without them and others just don't understand the attraction.  Either way, cats can bring out the best (and worst) in their human counterparts.  I mean, they do have a reputation of being a tiny bit self-absorbed and often times are considered to be not a very good, you know, people-type pet.

Still.

There are those times, during their seemingly endless days of captivity, when a cat can sense that something is off and their owners aren't feeling quite right, or perhaps the planets are aligned and the earth's rotation has shifted just a tad, and they simply slip out of character.

Or (in this case) when the other more affectionate and much younger beta cat is at the vet and in critical care, at the moment.

Either way...there IS peace in the valley, tonight.

Thanks, Old Man - I owe you one - and get well soon, Bucky (named after Buck Beak, one of Hagrid's many pets in Harry Potter) we miss you, so much!

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Beware: Bitch Session in Progress - Hold my calls and mind all the empty margarita glasses.

My mom had double-knee replacement surgery, last year (yes, it's just as icky as it sounds) and her and dad have had one medical challenge after another, since then.

Life goes like that, sometimes - beautiful one minute, filled with suckage the rest.

It's okay, though.  I sort of imagine life as a giant 50 foot female, all hopped up on too much caffeine and experiencing a bad hair day, and expect it will probably try to bite me in the ass, more than once.

Today, most especially, she is going to be a total BITCH!

Beware: Mommy on Duty - Hold my calls and mind the middle child.

When Thing One was born, my husband and I couldn't wait to bring her home and welcomed our new roles, as mother and father to our brand new baby daughter, celebrating each milestone of "firsts" with equal amounts of enthusiasm and trepidation.

Then, I became pregnant with Thing Two and - though, I couldn't wait and called my husband, at work, and gave him the results of the pregnancy test, while in the middle of a meeting with a client - I soon started to worry whether or not I was ready to separate myself from being "the world" to Thing One and having to share, well, pretty much everything, from my toes up, with TWO babies!?!

Soon, my fears were put to rest and the mommy in me sort of just, you know, kicked into high gear and there seemed to be plenty of me to go around.

Until, they grew up and NOW my husband Garth (not his real name) and I combine our super parental powers and it takes every bit of that strength...NOT to bite their little heads off.

The Difference Between You and Me is I Make Other Moms Look Good!

Usually, women like Motherhood Uncensored intimidate me.  I mean, COME ON, all you have to do is take one look at her to know that she is most likely someone a mom (like me) could grow to hate, very easily.

But, I can't.  Because, she's smart...OH...and she really is very sweet, in person, too...damnit.

I guess that's why, after reading her post about how parents...ahem...with older kids (like me) sometimes have trouble remembering just how difficult living in the baby-toddler vacuum really is, I was bothered by my initial reaction.

[insert eye-roll, chuckle, fake head nod, here]

PBN Blog Blast: The Truth About Motherhood - and it is the one you probably won't want to hear, either.

The Parent Bloggers Network is collaborating with Discovery Health to introduce their new docu-drama "Deliver Me" which follows three women - best friends, working mothers and physicians - as they balance delivering babies together in their OB/GYN practice with their lives outside the delivery room.

Perhaps you're like me - having given birth to what will probably be her last baby, 6 years ago - and asking yourself, what's this have to do with me?

Well, they're looking for bloggers to tell them the truth about motherhood and I happen to have a one that just might hurt, a little.

This Full House Kids: The birth of a family blogging project.

It's a girl...a girl...a boy...and a girl!

I am pleased to announce the birth of This Full House Kids - yep, we have added yet ANOTHER blog to our menu and I know what you're thinking...yes, I DO...because, it's probably the same thing that my husband, Garth (not his real name) is wondering and I ask myself, all the time, too.

Holy Hannah Montana...WOMAN...what WERE you thinking?

Whoever Says, You Can't Go Home, Never Had To Sleep With Me!

The kids and I left town, this weekend - yes, ALL of us and my husband DID know about it - because, well, you see, I haven't been feeling "quite right" lately.

No, I'm not sick.

[knocking on wood until knuckles bleed]

But, for reasons too long to go into, here (you're welcome) if you really want to know, I'm hashing it all out at The Imperfect Parent, today.

Anyhow, I've been at this mommy gig long enough to know that raising a family isn't always going to be all sunshine and rainbows - although, my kids really do make me smile and, more often than not, laugh SO hard, my face hurts - I've been hollering at the children way too much, lately, and by the time I woke up on Friday morning, I was ready to toss in the towel and called it a day.

So, I packed my bags and ran home to my mommy!