This Full House

A Post That Has Absolutely Nothing to do With Christmas, Health Care, Housing and Auto Bailouts or My Growing Dependency on Coffee!

Sorry, Google (sort of) but momma's feeling a little cranky, right now and I'm sure that you (yes, YOU!) are getting pretty gosh-darned tired (like me) hearing about all the cuh-ray-zee stuff going on, right now, all over the blogging world.

Makes me wish I was 7-years-old, again (sort of) and pretty much the reason why I decided to send this photo along with our otherwise traditional holiday family greeting -- Mini-me's tongue sticking out, and all!

So, please forgive me, you are not going to find any fodder that would be even remotely perceived as, you know, adult-like.

Nuh-uh, not from me, not this day.

How-wev-vuh, if you had a sucky week (like mine) filled with the type of suckage that even the glass-is-half-full-type people would find, you know, irritating....well, clean off a chair and sit down, I got a face to pick with you!

Parenting Tip #1,910,653: Taking the "I" Out of the Holidays

Taken on Thanksgiving weekend in Cape May, NJ - The Boy (he's 9) and my father enjoy a quiet moment, rare as it is.

Today, way before the rest of the house or even the sun wakes, I'm meeting my twin brother (yeah, I've got one of those, too and he's a lot prettier, than me, dammit!) and then heading to the hospital and do something that we both have grown used to, yet are still not very good at, doing.

Waiting.

We'll catch up on all of our holiday plans -- probably, hovering somewhere near the coffee and endless line of vending machines -- as we try and keep my father good company, while my mother goes through a procedure to increase the blood flow through her heart.

Big as it is.

In less than a week, my husband, Garth (not his real name) and I will be anxiously looking for the most awesome pediatric care team at Jersey Shore University Medical Center to take our 12-year-old baby girl away for what will, undoubtedly, be one of the longest waits of our lives, as I try to wrap my brain around the fact that her 13th birthday is only 3 days after Christmas.

Yeah, so maybe this mom needs someone to hold her...me...WHATEVER!...I need a hug, can you tell?

Yet, there's a profound sense of contentment in believing that suckage is also life's way of making sure that we take the "I" out of the holidays and focus on holding onto what's really near and dear to all of our hearts.

So, is anyone else late in getting their greeting cards in the mail?  EXCELLENT!  When you finally do find the time to make out your Christmas/holiday cards, I...uh..that is to say, this mom...would like for you to consider sending one to the following address:

A Recovering American Soldier
c/o Walter Reed Army Medical Center
6900 Georgia Avenue, NW

Why?

Because...um...okay, life can really suck sometimes...but, it sort of feels pretty good, too -- especially, when you've had a hand in helping someone else beat back the suckage, for a change.

Aaaand?

Well, because...uh...wait, I know this answer...okay, because, nice matters and I'm already too gosh-darned tired from trying to convince my kids that...yes, dear...if you study really hard, and eat all of your vegetables, there's a pretty good chance that you won't grow up to be a dork, like your mother.

Happy Hold-days!

© 2008 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.

All I want for Christmas is an American Girl Doll that won't break the bank, or make mom feel all Scroogy!

According to their latest survey results of over 1,000 respondents, TodaysMama.com revealed that 85% of Moms across the United States are trimming their holiday budgets due to concern about the long-term economic outlook, specifically:

14% plan to cut holiday spending by an astounding 75%
32% will cut holiday spending by 50%
66% believe it will take two to three years for the economy to recover

Okay, we get it -- honestly, you don't have to beat parents over the head with a mailbox full of sale flyers to know that life is too short to worry about the little things, like, what the cool kids want and the things that mine aren't, you know, getting this year, again -- so, why am I still feeling so gosh-darned Scroogy?!?

The Christmas Picture That Almost Wasn't

 

I took this picture of Thing Two (she's my middle girl) and my mom (that's my youngest, Mini-me, popping up, on cue, from behind the couch) at my brother's house on Thanksgiving Day.  It's not a very good one (seriously, I could really use a new camera, Santa!) but, you can still see the family resemblance...right?

This year, I really enjoyed giving up on any plans I had for hosting our family dinner (seriously, I highly recommend it) and not for the lack of wanting (I love Thanksgiving) but, things have been a little stressful at our house, lately.

I know, you too, right?

My husband, Garth (not his real name) works in the banking industry ('nuf said) and then my middle girl goes and blows a gasket (genetic disorders be damned) so, luck hasn't been on our side this year and, truth be told, I'm more than a little nervous about my mother's heart procedure, next week.

Oh, did I mention that Thing Two is scheduled for her surgery, the following week, 13 days before her 13th birthday!?!?

Parenting Tip# 13,013: Wear Your Babies Well and They Will Try Their Best to Wear You Out, too!

Biker Chick - Halloween 2008

This is Thing Two -- she's my middle girl -- and, exactly 3 days, 9 hours and 15 minutes after Christmas, my colicky, sleep deprived and extremely gastrointestinally-challenged baby girl will turn 13-years-old.

Though, I'm no longer a virgin -- my oldest girl turned 15, this month -- I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that my husband, Garth (not his real name) and I will have another teenager running around the house and (in the not too distant future) 2 more will follow.

Today, however, her father and I are getting ready to rip Thing Two a new one!

The Twilight Years: Okay, I get it, BITE ME!

I began my obsession with Twilight in the Summer of 2007, when my oldest daughter insisted that...YES...it would keep her interest and...OF COURSE...the genre would make an absolutely perfect fit into her summer reading list.

"It's a vampire love story!"

Uh-huh.

So, I read it first to make sure that it was really, you know, appropriate for teen readers and...WHAM...it truly was love at first bite.

[cringe]

Don't worry, Stephenie Meyer writes way gooder than me and has taken a story line that is not really that unique -- like, how love overcomes all obstacles, sort of -- but, presents it in a totally refreshing way.

With that said, I can't help but wonder if it's wrong that I'm totally crushing on...um, you know...my teen's crush?

The Responsibility Project: Because, parents (like me) need a real good kick in the head, sometimes!

Ever have one of those days?  When things just don't go right and you can't seem to find the strength to even, you know, get out of the shower.

Yeah, me too.

Then, you come across something that makes you really think (dammit) and, not only that, it inspires you to believe in the magic and healing powers of the human spirit.

No?

Then, you have GOT to check out "Tony," written and directed by Academy Award-nominee Grant Heslov (co-owner with George Clooney of Smoke House Pictures) for Liberty Mutual’s Responsibility Project.

 

See what I mean?

What, don't have the time to watch it?  No worries.  Come back, when you do.  Trust me, you'll be real glad that you did and perhaps even see it as the best 13 minutes you've spent, all day!

Oh, and I really would like Grant and my fake boyfriend George hear what you guys think.  Why?  Well, taking the personal time to share something truly wonderful, with one another, is what bloggers do best, right?

No worries, take your time, I'll wait.

© 2008 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.

Got Teens: Then, you NEED to be reading my blog!

My friend Jenn - whom I love dearly and needs coffee, like most mommies I know - has another thought provoking post (dammit!) about teens and the parents who blog about them.  Namely, me.  Because, you know, I am a mom, with teens, tweens, a precocious seven-year-old and I happen to keep a blog.  Or, two.

Why?

Well, it's like told Jenn:

"I've been blogging for 5 years now (4 kids all under the age of 10, 'nuf said) and, yes...the stories have changed...a little...but, it's still OUR story and I don't write about anything that I (or, my kids) would be uncomfortable sharing, in real life.

Although, my kids are in school full-time, my job is far from being done. I will have TWO teenagers, in a couple of months (ACK!) and personally, I feel that being their mom has become even harder.

However, my reasons for keeping This Full House remain the same - blogging is cheaper than therapy!"

Then, one of my kids goes and bleeds all over herself and what if I told you that the first thing I did was Twitter it?

Shaking It Up On the Soccer Field of Good and Evil

Mini-me (on far left, wearing red) at her soccer team's first practice, last night.

Does your kid play soccer?  Baseball?  Football?  How about basketball, hockey or softball?  Yes?

[nods head]

Perhaps, you've even coached a team, or two.

Like, my kids' coaches (two of them are playing soccer, this year) who volunteer their time, year after year, one season into the next and sometimes more than one sports, at a time.

PHEW.

Don't get me wrong, my husband would love to coach, but Garth (not his real name) gets home really late and sometimes is scheduled to work three weekends out of the month.

Me?  Well, as I see it, teaching kids sports means a) one would need to know a little something about that particular sport and b) being able to physically, you know, do it.

I mean, giving birth to 4 babies, I can't do a jumping jack, or sneeze, without having certain parts of my body begin to leak (you're welcome) sometimes, all at once (I'm sure) besides, my uterus might fall out, or something.

Still.

Some of these guys are diehard dedicated to involving themselves in nearly every aspect of their children's lives and I can't help but think, you know, what kind of day job allows these people ALL that free time?

This Full House est. 1990

August 25, 1990 - the year of the big dress and Cinderella Poof

I think Dennis Miller (who ALSO happens to look a lot like Garth, not his real name) said it best:

"After 7 years of marriage, I am sure of 2 things.  First, never wallpaper together and second, you'll need 2 bathrooms...both for her. The rest is a mystery, but a mystery I love to be involved in."

After 18 years, 4 kids, 2 cats, 1 sock-eating Doofus-dog and tons of laundry later, I'm STILL waiting for a bathroom.

[heavy sigh]

Because, I love you THAT MUCH!

© 2008 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.

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