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    So, what's it like, 6 people living in a 7 room house?

    This Full House is a full-frontal encounter into my life as a SAHM, lover of multi-functional gadgets, slayer of ALL appliances proved slow and/or inefficient, with 4 children, 2 cats, 1 super hyper sock-eating chocolate lab and 2 damned much laundry.

    Edited Version: I make OTHER moms look good!

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Queen of the Dorks

January 09, 2009

Why I Made My Kids "Friend" Me on Facebook!

DSCN0002
O...M...G...don't even!

My middle girl turned 13, last month (someone hold me!) and used her birthday money to order the really cool camera that I have been coveting (these darn kids get EVERYTHING!) and, after we got home from having her stitches removed this week, Thing Two was thrilled to find it waiting for her at the front door!

"Here, try it!"

Typically, I hate having my picture taken and consider myself severely photogenically-challenged.  It's okay.  I'm down with that.

"O...M...G...what are you trying to do?"

Gosh, but kids make me feel so stupid...sometimes.

"Uh, don't kids do peace-out anymore?"

Judging by the look on her face, apparently, not really.

"No, we just do peace."

I know I'm just a stupid parent and all (seriously, with 2 teenagers in the house, never felt dumber) but, didn't I just say that?

"Will you take a picture of me for Facebook?"

Yes, the day she turned 13, I allowed Thing Two to sign up for a Facebook account (I mean, her 15-year-old sister has one) and it's really no big deal...I'm on it, too...besides, I'm her mom and MADE her "friend" me!

Continue reading "Why I Made My Kids "Friend" Me on Facebook!" »

January 07, 2009

Would You Be, Could You Be, My Neighbor?

[Yes, I am STILL Soliciting Comments for Charity:  Currently at 130 comments!  Okay, so I'm BLOGGING OUT HUNGER and totally willing to beg for someone else's food, this week - I know I'm no Dooce, but won't you consider helping reach my goal of 300 comments, for charity, even for a Dork, like me?]

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Urkel

We live on a very busy street, used by commuters as a throughway between the train station and county road, so my husband Garth (not his real name) and I have always tried to remain vigilant about keeping the kids safely locked away in our big backyard.

Someone came knocking at our front door yesterday and, of course, all 4 of my kids came running from every direction to, you know, see who it was.

"It's our neighbor!"

Silence.

"Which one?"

We've lived in this house for 15 years and, sadly, I'm on speaking terms with only one of them - my next door neighbor.

"It's the one you like!"

Oh, thank goodness.

"I got some of your mail, by mistake."

So, I invited her in; we spent the next few minutes catching up (has it really been THAT long) and parted on good terms.

"Maybe we can get-together; especially, if Mr. Screw Up keeps delivering each other's mail."

It's not that we don't like each other - I pretty much get along with most everybody - but, I've got 4 kids, she's only got the 1, I'm almost never home and she pretty much thinks I'm nucking futz, anyway.

But, she likes my kids.

The neighbor on the other side of the fence (you know, the one I don't like) hates my kids and has yelled at them, for being too loud...playing in the pool...on numerous occasions!

"Keep it down, over there!"

Can't blame him, too much - they don't have kids.

So, TV Squad posted a list of 9 least-wanted TV neighbors and, I'm thinking, we must be pretty high on some of our neighbor's list.

Wanna see?

Borrowing mommy's goofy glasses - here's the daily lineup:

Continue reading "Would You Be, Could You Be, My Neighbor?" »

December 12, 2008

A Post That Has Absolutely Nothing to do With Christmas, Health Care, Housing and Auto Bailouts or My Growing Dependency on Coffee!

Sorry, Google (sort of) but momma's feeling a little cranky, right now and I'm sure that you (yes, YOU!) are getting pretty gosh-darned tired (like me) hearing about all the cuh-ray-zee stuff going on, right now, all over the blogging world.

Makes me wish I was 7-years-old, again (sort of) and pretty much the reason why I decided to send this photo along with our otherwise traditional holiday family greeting -- Mini-me's tongue sticking out, and all!

So, please forgive me, you are not going to find any fodder that would be even remotely perceived as, you know, adult-like.

Nuh-uh, not from me, not this day.

How-wev-vuh, if you had a sucky week (like mine) filled with the type of suckage that even the glass-is-half-full-type people would find, you know, irritating....well, clean off a chair and sit down, I got a face to pick with you!

Continue reading "A Post That Has Absolutely Nothing to do With Christmas, Health Care, Housing and Auto Bailouts or My Growing Dependency on Coffee!" »

October 23, 2008

Got Teens: Then, you NEED to be reading my blog!

My friend Jenn - whom I love dearly and needs coffee, like most mommies I know - has another thought provoking post (dammit!) about teens and the parents who blog about them.  Namely, me.  Because, you know, I am a mom, with teens, tweens, a precocious seven-year-old and I happen to keep a blog.  Or, two.

Why?

Well, it's like told Jenn:

"I've been blogging for 5 years now (4 kids all under the age of 10, 'nuf said) and, yes...the stories have changed...a little...but, it's still OUR story and I don't write about anything that I (or, my kids) would be uncomfortable sharing, in real life.

Although, my kids are in school full-time, my job is far from being done. I will have TWO teenagers, in a couple of months (ACK!) and personally, I feel that being their mom has become even harder.

However, my reasons for keeping This Full House remain the same - blogging is cheaper than therapy!"

Then, one of my kids goes and bleeds all over herself and what if I told you that the first thing I did was Twitter it?

Continue reading "Got Teens: Then, you NEED to be reading my blog!" »

May 16, 2008

She Works Hard for the Funny!

Speaking of hard-working moms.

CityMama is giving away a Wii Fit and...WHAT?...you want a Ninento Wii to go with that whine?  No prob; she's giving that away, too.  All you have to do is write a post about your MOST embarrassing fitness moment.

Here's mine:

Continue reading "She Works Hard for the Funny!" »

May 08, 2008

PBN Blog Blast: All I want for Mother's Day

The Parent Bloggers Network has teamed up with Johnson and Johnson to promote their new charitable giving site, Johnson’s Baby Cause, powered by Global Giving.

As part of their responsibility to the global community, Johnson’s has hand-selected dozens of charities around the world that mirror their deep commitment to caring for the health and well-being of mothers and children - not just on Mother’s Day, but every day of the year.

This is the 100th Anniversary of Mother's Day and my 15th year of raising kids -- not to mention, killer dust bunnies -- in this mother-loving world of comfortable running shoes and matching hoodies.

So, as a mother of a teen, a tween, a precocious 1st grader and The Boy who refuses to admit he is NOT getting a brother for Christmas, what could I possibly want for Mother's Day?

Continue reading "PBN Blog Blast: All I want for Mother's Day" »

May 06, 2008

Be sure to leave the twenty, on the nightstand, on your way out!

Downtime_2

What?  Is it Tuesday, already?  Is it me...or, does anybody else NOT have the time...for anything, anymore?  I swear, the older the kids get...well, you know...I wonder.  Does anyone else know if snoring on my husband's lap is considered foreplay?

Continue reading "Be sure to leave the twenty, on the nightstand, on your way out!" »

April 11, 2008

Beware: Mommy on Duty - Hold my calls and mind the middle child.

Gothgirl

When Thing One was born, my husband and I couldn't wait to bring her home and welcomed our new roles, as mother and father to our brand new baby daughter, celebrating each milestone of "firsts" with equal amounts of enthusiasm and trepidation.

Then, I became pregnant with Thing Two and - though, I couldn't wait and called my husband, at work, and gave him the results of the pregnancy test, while in the middle of a meeting with a client - I soon started to worry whether or not I was ready to separate myself from being "the world" to Thing One and having to share, well, pretty much everything, from my toes up, with TWO babies!?!

Soon, my fears were put to rest and the mommy in me sort of just, you know, kicked into high gear and there seemed to be plenty of me to go around.

Until, they grew up and NOW my husband Garth (not his real name) and I combine our super parental powers and it takes every bit of that strength...NOT to bite their little heads off.

Continue reading "Beware: Mommy on Duty - Hold my calls and mind the middle child." »

April 09, 2008

The Difference Between You and Me is I Make Other Moms Look Good!

Usually, women like Motherhood Uncensored intimidate me.  I mean, COME ON, all you have to do is take one look at her to know that she is most likely someone a mom (like me) could grow to hate, very easily.

But, I can't.  Because, she's smart...OH...and she really is very sweet, in person, too...damnit.

I guess that's why, after reading her post about how parents...ahem...with older kids (like me) sometimes have trouble remembering just how difficult living in the baby-toddler vacuum really is, I was bothered by my initial reaction.

[insert eye-roll, chuckle, fake head nod, here]

Continue reading "The Difference Between You and Me is I Make Other Moms Look Good!" »

April 07, 2008

You know you're from Jersey, if....

Having been born, grown up and now raising a family of my own (and blogging about it) in New Jersey (what, you too...SHUT up!) I've pretty much heard it all.  Still.  You may be surprised to learn, however, just how difficult it can be, listening to jokes about why we're called "The Garden State" because, it's too hard to fit "Oil and Petro-Chemical Refinery State" on a license plate, etc...

[rolls eyes]

So, New Jersey has a lot of chemical companies; I get that.  Hell, I used to work with a couple of them - way before children - forgive me, but the assumption that moving here would be less than desirable, by anyone who refuses to take a look-see beyond the Turnpike tolls, you know, upsets me.

Or, in more Jersey-type terms...it friggin' frosts my ass, people!

Continue reading "You know you're from Jersey, if...." »

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