Our youngest daughter is turning 12, next month -- pausing to allow for the "OH, BUT HOW?!?" and the "MY BAYBEEEEEE?!?" to come through, okay, I'm good now, thanks!!! -- and, as fourth in line, MY BAYBEEEEEE (whoops, that one slipped right through, sorry!) she's learned to sit back and observe, as her older siblings get grounded for one reason (or twenty), so that she knows EXACTLY what she can or cannot get away with.
Aaaaaand, she will test us...in theory...just in case.
Long story, short: not only have we deluded ourselves into believing that this kid would most likely be the easiest one to raise, we NEVER had a chance.
Oh, but she's soooooooo cute, right?!? YES!!! Also, to her advantage, she's smart and presents a list of reasons why she should be allowed to [enter whatever it is her siblings were NOT allowed, here] which, more often than not, leaves me snort-laughing and, well, when I say we NEVER had a chance, I mostly mean...me.
For example: my insisting that she does NOT in fact need to get one of those $$ binders, this late into the school year and then finding an email (sent to my business account, btw) outlining the reasons why she does so need to get one of those $$ binders:
REASONS WHY I DO SO NEED TO GET A $$ BINDER
1.) I would be way more organized throughout the year.
2.) We would save more money with just buying one big binder rather than two smaller ones.
3.) They have more space and it will allow me to have easy access to everything in my binder.
4.) As you can see my binders right now are falling apart.
5.) It would allow me to have more space for every subject, have space for my writing materials, and it would be 1 binder.
6.) With this binder I won't have to use a book bag.
7.) This binder would take a lot of weight off of my shoulders, I would carry the binder and my lunch, that’s it!
8.) You would not have to worry about it breaking because they are really good, and it may even last until 7th grade that saves even more money!
9.) And did I mention that it saves money???????!!!!!
10.) All of these reasons make up the binder of my dreams.
Aaaaaaand, then she included "here are some pictures" with her closing statement:
I hope you choose to buy this binder with me and as you can see I'm leaning towards the purple color.
How could I say no, right?!? RIGHT?!?
Riiiiiiight, but what if I told you that she ALSO copied her list of reasons why she does so need to get one of those $$ binders and then shared it with me in a Google doc?!?
You see what I mean?!? We...okay, fine...I NEVER HAD A FRIGGIN' CHANCE, with this kid.
[sound of crickets, chirping]
Aaaaaaand, you are NOT helping.
[blows bangs out of eyes, drains coffee mug]
She had me at number 8 (don't judge!) and, now that she has one of those $$ binders (yes, it's purple, dammit), it IS one less thing I can √ off of my list for next year, right?!?
[what IS it with ALL these crickets, anyways]
Stupid school supplies, dumbass Google docs.
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