Welcome to Tuesday -- it's the new Monday here at my house!
Especially since -- rather than fixing and polishingÂ aÂ house fullÂ of creaks and peeling paint --Â we spentÂ the entireÂ four-day-weekend visiting with family and friends living many, many miles away.
It's like needing a vacation...from your vacation -- the kids and I thought today felt...just like a frickin' Monday!
But, it was all good -- my MIL is home from the hospital...got to visit my brother's new house...saw Mini-Me's Godparents and met their new grandchild...tasted some awfully good (grin)Â red wine -- and I was feeling no pain.
"Do you want to hold the baby?"
Now, typically, I would jump at the chance.Â But, it's been...um...how old is Mini-me?...oh, yeah...four years...and even though I've done it many, many, many...um...how many kids do I have?...oh yeah, many times, before...I wondered if I'd evenÂ remember how...or want to...seriously!
"Um...I don't know if I should."
Idiot -- these people are our friends -- surely, IÂ understood how much they'dÂ miss having friends and family so close and knew, as much as I did, that we wouldn't see each other anytime soon.
"Of course, you should!"
I bit my lower lip and wondered where my husband had gone.
"Um...I mean...he's so tiny...and I think I may be getting a cold...or something."
"Oh, I'm sure you're fine."
I sat on my hands and crossed my legs, uncomfortably, and wondered where my kids had gone, all of a sudden.
"I mean...uh...I don't know if I remember how."
"Oh, I'm sure it'll come back to you...here...take him."
And I reached for the baby, even before I knew what was happening, and I swear...it all came back to me.
That new baby smell with the teeny-tiny socks andÂ the iddy-biddy feets...that gummy bear smile with the big eyes and little lizard tongue...that look of surprise withÂ the kicking and the crying that says, "You areÂ soÂ NOT the momma!"
And I swayed...and I coo-ed...andÂ I tickled...and I, "Gitchy-gitchy goo-ed!"
"I think he's just hungry, again...here...I'll take him back, now."
Now, IÂ knew for sure why --Â besides, the real reason why I didn't want to take him in the first place -- andÂ it was what I was afraid of.
I'd lost my touch.
And -- asÂ I watched her with herÂ new son --Â IÂ wasn'tÂ a bit surprised to learn that sheÂ already had a jobÂ waiting for her on the west coast and that her husband (an ex-Air Force pilot) would be staying home withÂ both their kids.
WhatÂ happened next, however, shocked the hell outÂ of me!
"I give you credit...deciding to be a stay-at-homeÂ dad is probably one of the most difficult thingsÂ I've ever had to do."
Did I mention he was an Air Force pilot...like...flying combat missions...and being shot at...over enemy territory?
"Nah...piece of cake...you'll be fine."
Well, I guess there's a time and place for everything, and perhaps evenÂ for a little white lie, or two.
And -- as my time as a SAHM mom comes closer to anÂ endÂ --Â even though I will always carry the memories ofÂ my babies in my heart, I am enjoyingÂ standing back and just watching them run around...needing me a little less each day...and perhaps can finally admit...that I am in a much happier place, for it.
Or, I couldÂ be wrong...but, you couldÂ just call me, MATT!