Seriously, it's come down to this -- the house is sick with hampers and laundry baskets filled with clothes -- and a nasty case of stomach flu literally knocked me on my ass Thursday night, and I didn't get up until...um...what day is it?

Friday's a blur -- my kids said I snored alot -- and my husband managed to keep the house...um...well, it's still standing and all four kids made it to school and back -- good job, hon!

Then all hell broke loose.

[phone rings]

"Oh, hi Mama...um...no...Daddy's not home...he's at work...huh?...um...no...Mommy isn't feeling good, yet...what?...uh...she's laying on the couch and looking kinda, yellow."

[click]

I believe it took my parents 25 minutes to complete the 45 minute drive and the next thing I knew, I was propped up with pillows, tucked into extra blankets and sipping a deliciously hot cup of tea infused with hawthorne and lime flowers.

I was in heaven.

Until.

[a creaky door opens, followed by a loud gasping sort of sound]

"Is....this....your....LAUNDRY!?!?"

[insert slashing theme from Psycho here]

My mother was shocked, but I was mortified that the laundry had gotten so out of hand, yet, not a bit surprised when she put on her reading glasses, rolled up her sleeves and started to sort my dirty laundry.

Suffice it say -- sort of like the saying, "Behind every successful woman, is a basket of dirty laundry." -- by all accounts, I am frickin' fabulous!!

But, as I got up and steadied myself against my father's arm as he led me to the bathroom, I felt pretty much like pond slime.

Then, things went all blurry, again.

It was hours later before opened my eyes, without feeling the need to reach for the puke bowl, and listened to the relaxing tones of my parents chatting in Hungarian.

[leans against dryer]

"You know, you used to do this much...remember...when we were younger and the kids were home."

[takes off reading glasses, slams washer lid and mistakenly wipes brow with dryer sheet]

"Yes...but...the crazy thing is...this is the sixth load I'm doing, but the piles don't seem to be getting any...smaller!"

Cray-zee, man!

And for the first time in...oh...I don't know...since becoming a mom...I felt:

• Comfort in the fact that another living human being has seen the monster that resides in my house.


• Bared witnessed to its nourishing effects on bizarre behavior.


• Recognizes it to truly be the bain of my existence.

And, during all of this, the lovely Miss Zoot (a fellow mommy in arms in the fight against dirty laundry, survivor of the dreaded stomach virus and designer extraordinaire...and don't I feel like crap...btw...come to find that she was sick, too) has paid homage to my disdain for...*gulp*...dirty laundry...by coming up with this beautiful design with a nice clean new address for this full house.

So, my laundry is done -- FOR THE FIRST TIME, EVUH! -- my blog is looking pretty-gosh-darn-good and I'm feeling much better now!

You like?

Oh, and did I mention that -- MY LAUNDRY IS FRICKIN' DONE!!!