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April 2006

There Are Three Things You Can Do To A Mommy Blogger — You Can Love Her, You Can Hate Her, Or You Can Totally Confuse The Crap Out Of Her By Tagging Her For A Meme!

Yep, I've been tagged by Mom and pop Culture (beeyotch!) and -- since I seem to be stuck with the housework from hell -- it's either scream, "No mas, no mas!" and throw myself in front of a school a bus (or) submit to the power of three.

And since I would really like to stay around...long enough to see my children grow up...or at least until I learn who the next American Idol will be...**cough**CHRIS ROCKS!**cough**...I choose the later!

(1) Three things you'd like to SEE in your lifetime, whether or not you think it's likely.

1.  America switching from fossil fuels to wind, wave and solar energy -- as well as an all-out-push and global support for further exploration of other forms of renewable energy -- in an effort to promote a cleaner and safer environment.  We should all "heart" the earth a little more, rely on oil companies a little less and hang litterbugs by their lazy asses...YES, YOU!...who insists on flicking your butts out your car and onto my windshield...not to mention tossing your trash out on my front lawn...that's just nasty!

2.  That finding a cure for cancer becomes a "national priority" and is available, quickly -- not to mention within everyone's reach -- but, doesn't cost an arm and a leg or nearly as much (though, there is no comparison) as to what so many families have lost, already!

And I'm totally swiping Liz's third answer and re-post it as mine along with a hearty, "HUZZAH!"

3.  The Mommy Wars will end for good -- "...women will be able to balance careers and family without a hitch, with the support of flexible workplaces, a government that recognizes the unpaid work that caretakers provide!" -- in hopes that women will find a way to finally make peace...with each other!

(2) Three SPOTs that you have visited that are "must see".

1.  Washington, D.C. -- If you love museums and American history, like I do, this is a definite destination.  The museums (as well as the National Zoo) are very family friendly, free and -- though the food is not! -- packing a picnic lunch and hanging out at the numerous parks or by the Potomac is a must this time of year!

2.  New York City -- There is no place (or mindset for that matter) like NYC.  It's fast, filled with people from all walks of life (some more out-worldly than others) and there is always something to see or do...no matter what the time...and I believe that Frank Sinatra said it best...New York is truly the, "...city that never sleeps!"

3.  Europe -- My parents are from Hungary, but visiting anywhere in Europe will give you a whole new perspective on life here in America.  Budapest (Hungary) -- with it's beautiful architecture and delicious restaurants -- will take your breath away and Vienna (Austria) is a lot like NYC -- a lot of bad driving though a lot less slower paced.  Europeans are a lot "friendlier" than most people would have you believe...the ones I've met, anyways.  And if you're a history buff -- like me -- then, prepare yourself...to be overly stimulated...mentally and emotionally, as well as physically! 

(3) Three people you'd like to see RUN for public office and why.

1.  My husband -- He's smart...he's funny...and when it comes to work and family...he's got a great sense of balance...afterall...he is married to me.  And that alone is enough to prove the guy deserves a medal, at least!

2.  Any one of my four kids -- because, I swear, they are the cutest little bunch of bullsh*t artists -- at least on this side of the Mississippi!

3.  A mom!

Okay, I'm...like...supposed to tag some people...and I'd really love to hear what these three dad-type bloggers have to say!

Peace-out!

© This Full House 2003-2017. All rights reserved.

It’s supposed to be hard. If it wasn’t hard, everyone would do it. The hard is what makes it great.

My husband and I went out to dinner with a bunch of his "worker friends" (that's what our Little Man calls his co-workers) and -- though the weather was very stormy -- we had one of the most enjoyable evenings since, well, can I just say that...it's been a very long time.

Honestly, I can't remember the last time we smiled, laughed and felt as relaxed or even touched each other as much as we did this passed cold, rainy Saturday night.

It's not easy for us to find the time to spend together -- let alone having to share him with about a dozen other people who probably see and talk to him...more than I do, some times -- but, I can't think of a time when we've needed each other...more.

We sat on the "couples" side of the table with others who -- over the years -- we've come to call, friends.

It's not easy for us -- when it comes down to really letting ourselves be...you know...just be -- to find people we can comfortably spend time with.

Not that my husband and I aren't friendly or are unsocial.

We're both in a position where we are required to inter-relate with others -- though, most of his clients are older and most of my time is spent either in front of a computer, in the minivan or on a playing field of some sort -- we don't often have an opportunity...or be allowed to for that matter...to make a "real connection."

The moon must have hit a new phase Saturday night -- or, perhaps it was kizmet -- because there was nothing that we could have said or done that could have made the evening better.

And we certainly didn't want it to end.

"Care to join us at the bar?"

[yawning and trying to casually glance at their watches]
"C'mon...just one more glass of wine!"

[politely smiling as they remain "standing" at bar]
"Here's to friends and enjoying the good times, ahead!"

[clink-clink]
"Where to next?"

[eyes go wide]
"Whoa...look at the time...is it nearly midnight, already!?!"

[in chorus]
"C'mon...the night's young...and tonight, so are we...besides...we have a babysitter!"

[clinl-clink]

And as my husband and I inter-locked arms, and drank to our boastful toast, our friends promised to get-together again, soon, as they bid their, "If we have any more wine, we're gonna puke," and "Have fun you two!"

Ah, well, perhaps we were just a tad bit over exasperating and even a little...oh, I don't know...chatty, but dayum if we didn't feel as if the night should never end! 

For us at least, it didn't.

And perhaps now I finally understand what my Grandmother used to say.

"Minden csoda harom napig tart!"

Loosely translated, it means "every wonder lasts three days" and I believe we're still flying high from our little escape from the other night.
Happy Birthday, Sweetie!

I know how hard it's been these last few years -- but, I truly can't think of anyone else I'd rather spend it with or anywhere else I'd rather be, than with you, right now!

Although, maybe a few hours in another hotel room...again...would be nice...sometime soon, perhaps!?!

[blushing]

Who knew he could be so spontaneous?!?

[eyes go wide]

Well -- since my MIL reads my blog -- his mom does, now!

[clears throat]

And he makes such lovely grandchildren, doesn't he!?!

© This Full House 2003-2017. All rights reserved.

Blogging Spring Fever and A Friday Funny!

Holy Crap...but, I seem to have gotten myself stuck inside closets, dressers and under beds for the past few days -- don't even get me started on the overflowing "to be filed" letter box located somewhere to the left of the stack of sticky notes and strategically placed over a stain, yet to be identified -- or, perhaps you haven't noticed.

I have been busy, though...no...really.

But, not as much as my friends, namely Mr. and Mrs. Prescott Carlson, over at The Imperfect Parent.  They have launched their website's re-design this week and -- though it's always been a happy place where we moms and dads could go and...you know...hang out -- it's quite a makeover...well...not that it was all that ...you know...bad...I mean...GAH!

Prescott...a little help, please:

"The Imperfect Parent is not necessarily changing, but improving. It will be the same site that you know and love, but there will be more of it. We are aggressively pursuing great writers to add to our talented stable. New content will be added on a daily basis. Book reviews and in-depth feature articles will be added on a regular basis. Look for great new resources coming soon such as the MILF Handbook and Education Guide. We've added a blog to highlight some of the other great stuff out there on the web."

Do me a favor and go tell Prescott how pretty he looks, check out his co-creator and gorgeous wife, Jessica and be sure to tell them how much you enjoy my monthly column, "Growing Pains".
**grin**

Seriously.

And Sweetney is carrying on an interesting conversation (one of many) over at BlogHer regarding Spring Blog Fever -- is it wrong to feel soooo relieved that I am NOT the only blogger out there feeling as if they are...I dunno... "running on empty!?!"

Not for the lack of material, mind you.

It's just that...you know...life can get so complicated -- sometimes, I feel as if I've been surfing through all the temper tantrums, the belly-aching and the mommy angst...on my head...that it's nice to know there are other parents out there who are just as...you know...sea sick as I am, sometimes.

**deaf from all the silence and turning slightly green**

Just pretend you are and accept the friggin' cherry Lifesaver...'kay!?!

Besides hosting a sleepover, tonight (what's one more kid, eh?) a little league season opener, tomorrow and much marching planned for opening ceremonies and Earth Day celebrations Sunday, that's about it for our house.

So, how about you folks...done any spring cleaning, lately?

Well, sit down a minute...grab yourself something to drink or munch on and don't be afraid to comment on some of your favorite reads -- something pretty and nice, perhaps -- because the next blog you save, might be mine.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go sack out on the couch and give my hubs a little lovins' for a while.

**doorbell rings**

Nevermind.

Here's your Friday Funny...feel free to make yourself comfortable...remember to share...and turn out the light on your way out...would ya?

A husband just finished reading a new book, "You Can Be The Man Of Your House."

He stormed into the kitchen and walked directly up to his wife.  Pointing a finger in her face, he said sternly:

"From now on, YOU need to know that I AM the MAN of this house, and my word is law!  You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert afterward.  Then, after dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me, and we will have the sex that I want.  After that, you are going to draw me my bath so I can relax.  You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe.  Then you will massage my feet and hands.  Then after that's done, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"

His wife replied:
"The f*cking funeral director would be my guess."

TGIF...have a great weekend, everyone!

© This Full House 2003-2017. All rights reserved.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was another Full House family vacation!!!

The ironic thing about going away with children -- besides the fact that my husband and I, after investing in a portable dvd player for the first time, foolishly allowed ourselves to enjoy the quiet and be lulled into a false sense of security in believing that our four children would actually cooperate with each other...stupid parents -- is how quickly our expectations of a fun family vacation seem to differ to that of our kids.

I mean, we don't get away all that often -- and Washington D.C. is absolutely beautiful this time of year -- could you really blame us for trying to squeeze in as much sight-seeing as possible?!?

The cherry blossoms, the walking tours, the museums, the pandas at the national zoo and the air heavily weighted with history, surrounding you with nearly every turn, and leading to yet another monumental moment in early America.

The kids enjoyed our last visit to DC (two years ago during President's weekend) and they were looking forward to a few new experiences their father and I had planned for them.

Until they realized that the hotel we were staying in has an indoor pool.

Then, the only thing all four of our children wanted to know about Washington, D.C. was:

"When are we going back to the hotel!?!"

After every meal...every museum display...every potty stop...and after nearly every ten minutes or so...
"When are we going back to the hotel!?!"

So, I couldn't blame the looks of disdain and/or pity my husband I received whenever he or I (and sometimes both of us at the same time) would scream:

"FOR THE LAST TIME...I DON'T CARE HOW MUCH FUN IT IS...WE DID NOT COME ALL THIS WAY/SPEND ALL THIS MONEY TO SPEND IT IN A HOTEL SWIMMING POOL!!!

Ah...good times!

It wasn't all bad, of course -- regardless of the fact that I also got my period when we first got to the hotel because...HEY!...we were on vacation and my total lack of energy and extreme physical discomfort is par for the course -- there were some very lovely Kodak moments, though.

The sculpture garden outside the Smithsonian (one of many) was a lot of fun -- it was an absolutely gorgeous day with blue skies and temps in the sixties -- although I recommend that children be made aware of the fact that there is perhaps such a thing as "artistic license" and avoid later attempts of having to explain why, "...that lady statue has three breasts?" and "...oh my god, that man statue totally LOST HIS PENIS!"

The kids called the the "old" Smithsonian (now the musuem's executive offices) "the castle" and their gardens were breathtakingly popping with color!

We spent an entire day at the National Zoo and enjoyed it, very much -- especially with cute little hands-on activities for the children -- like, Mini-Me comparing her mini-paws with that of the casts on the tiger trail.

 

And no Full House photo album would be complete without an obligatory ninja pose by Little Man. 

 

A final pose with the gang at the zoo before heading off to a twenty-minute-walk to the metro....spent holding poor little Mini-Me....like, most of the trip....because I should have listened to my husband when suggested we take the umbrella stroller, just in case....stupid mommy! 

Speaking of stupid mommy -- I was scheduled to host last weekend's Carnival of New Jersey Bloggers (#48), but missed the boat on getting it up for my fellow Garden Staters.  I sincerely hope that they accept this feeble attempt at an apology and I would like to thank Enlighten New Jersey for picking up the slack!

Folks, I know you've heard it before,  but -- we seriously need a vacation from our vacation -- the next time I mention planning the perfect family vacation...or if I even attempt to volunteer (last minute) at having everyone over for Easter dinner, before unpacking...or make plans of any sort without prior written consent from a licensed chiropractor and/or mother nature, herself...slap me out of it! 

In the meantime, excuse me while I try and start finish do the laundry...find a way to make the pain in my neck and back, like, stop...and humbly kiss Kate's ass for still taking my call, yesterday...and fully expect to bang on her door until my knuckles bleed...and will do my best and not stand her up, again...until she admits I'm an asshole and says:

"Liz...I still love you...you ignorant slut!"

Care to join in?

© This Full House 2003-2017. All rights reserved.

“Or maybe last night while we “was” sleeping, the whole world got turned upside down and now the grownups play all day and the kids go to work… “

Because I'm feeling tired, cranky, and irritable from doing way too much stuff -- like I've got diaper rash right down to my knees, or something -- while everyone else is like...so...you know...not!

[getting tapped on shoulder and turning off vacuum]

"WHAT!"

[nervously looks around empty room]
"Um...sweets...uh...why are doing that...like...now?"

[frowns while scratching at an underground zit on chin]
"Because I want to finish, I don't want to have to do it again, tomorrow, and this friggin' carpet's FILTHY!?!"

[steps back a bit before answering]
"But...um...the carpet guys are going to rip it up  anyway, and isn't it sort of like...well...cleaning the house before the housekeeper arrives?"

[insert -- "quick, hide all sharp objects" and "protect your balls at all cost"  -- ominus sort of look, here!]
"Well, I really wouldn't know -- would I?  Besides, this is the last time I'll ever have to vacuum this friggin' ugly-ass excuse for a carpet, anyways!"

[click]

Honestly -- perhaps I should have been a little more...I don't know...thankful -- the carpet was here when we moved into our house, thirteen years ago, and even then...I hated it!

[getting tapped on knee and turning off vacuum]

"Dammit...but I'm tired...sweaty...all I want to do is finish and get rid of this piece of...!"

[turns to see four-year-old frowning]
"CAKE...getting rid of this old carpet is going to be a  piece of cake!?!"

[joined by her older sisters and brother]
"But, we don't want you to get rid of the carpet...we love this carpet...don't you remember how much fun we had on this carpet?!!"

[swallowing hard]
"Um...yeah...but...you know...it's old...and stained...and...well...you know...!"

Yes -- the carpet was FUGLY! -- I was physically tired of moving furniture and frustrated by sneezing from tons of dust kitties, and started to say so, and instead pointed at something...sticky.
"Oh, check this out you guys, this is the spot where Mini-Me blew her first bubble and then dropped her gum.

And those three little burn holes, over there, are from the sparklers dad put on Thing Two's first birthday cake.

That big 'ole stain by the television is where Thing One learned how to walk, while Barney was on, and dropped her sippy cup!

And remember when Little Man tried to lick the dog and puked in that corner!?!"


The kids and I were laughing so hard -- we nearly added another puke spot to the countless others laying about -- that I totally bagged the vacuum and sat down with the kids as they broke out the mini-baby-albums I'd made for each of them and kept on the bookcase...now in the kitchen, of course.

Yes -- I LOVE MY NEW CARPET! -- even though I knew it would be a lot work getting the living room/family room carpeted and that I would be physically exhausted today, I couldn't have imagined a better way to spend an evening with my rugrats...than re-visiting some of my favorite baby memories...and exploring the carpet on my hands and knees.

[opening front door]

"Yes, can I help you?

[pointing towards sidewalk]
"I see you've got new carpeting?"

[holding the dog back by his collar and smiling brightly]
"Yes, and it was wonderful!"

[not smiling]
"Yes, well, that must mean that you've called and made an another appointment?"

[blank stare]
"To have the old carpeting hauled away, yes?"

[considering letting the dog go]
"And of course you know that you can't leave it by the sidewalk, and will have to haul it up to the side of your house, until they get here, because the next knock you're bound to hear, perhaps will be from someone's nasty lawyer, rather than a nice town official, like me."

So, my children and I learned that -- even though it's sometimes hard -- growing up sometimes means we need to be mindful of the fact that there will be those times when we accept change...as a good thing.

But, the two things going through my mind, as I finished hauling another couple of hundred pounds more than my share of weight this morning, are "Being a grown up sucks," and more to the point...."FRIGGIN' CARPET!"

© This Full House 2003-2017. All rights reserved.