Can you believe it's only been a weekÂ - ANDÂ WE ARE ALL OUT OF CEREAL!
And since they've been home and managed to eat all of the eggs, bacon, English muffins, the last of the six loaves of Wonder Bread and cleaned out the entire fruit and vegetable bin - who knew four kids could eat so much? - guess I'llÂ have to go grocery shopping,Â soon.Â
It may (or may not) surprise you to learn that I am NOT the most organized mom in the world!Â Oh, I used to beÂ - just, don't ask my husband, 'kay - trust me.Â I dunno what happened!?! Â I guess it all got a little messy - real fast - and just became sorta, easier for the kids and me to find clean clothes in piles (after teaching them the "smell test," of course!) rather than folded and...GULP!...neatly hanged or placed in a drawer.
Life is complicated enough - what, with six (sometimes seven) people (four, sometimes five, of whom are female) living in a 2,000 square foot house and experiencing extreme surges (up and down)Â of hormones (both male and female)Â ranging from PMS to pre-menopause, not to mention three petsÂ includingÂ various othersÂ "of whom we don't speak of" (stupid ants!)Â and the whole circle of life sorta, thing - fuhgettaboutit!
No, really - it's better this way - and getting used to living among the chaos of an unorganized life isÂ not as hard, as you may think!
For example, my SIL has been staying with us and understands, completely:
8 Simple Questions YouÂ Will Be Asking When Visiting This Full House:
1.Â Is It dirty?
2.Â Is it clean?
Hold it up to the light.
3.Â Is it good?
If it's green and/or fuzzy, no - otherwise, smell it.
4.Â Is it Thing One's?
If it's on the floor, yes - otherwise, smell it.
5.Â Is it Thing Two's?
If it's folded and put away, yes - she was always a little weird.
6.Â Is it Little Man's?
Hold it up to the light and if it disingrates upon contact, yes - otherwise, kill it!
7.Â Is it Mini-Me's?
If it's green and/or fuzzy, yes - otherwise, it's Thing One's.
8.Â What the hell is it?
Throw it away or toss it in the laundry room - I don't care - and fuhgettaboutit!
I've got better things to do.
Like, playing referee to an unscheduled game of soccer...in the living room...and helping Mini-Me block her goal...the couch...while my SIL sleeps...on the couch - and checking my SIL to be sure she's still...you know...breathing.
Like, convincing Thing Two thatÂ - because her father and I forbid her from watching Summerland, for the rest of the summer, or ever - it is not the end of the world (stupid N-Channel!) and that she can probably find much better things to do with her time.Â LikeÂ messing up herÂ room, or something productive, like that.Â And then re-hanging pictures and pretending that slamming doors DON'T REALLY BOTHER US AT ALL, REALLY.
Like, playing another unscheduled soccer game and trying to convince Little Man, "BECAUSE YOU HAVE SISTERS...OKAY...AND WE DON'T HAVE ANYMORE ROOM, THAT'S WHY!"
Like, finally agreeing withÂ Mini-Me, "Okay, you can have your own room!"
See, we've completed our first week of summer vacation and I've got everything pretty much under control - yeah?
"Hey, Sis...like, WOW!...you've finally organized your cabinets!"
"Oh, I did that...Mommy...do you like it?Â Aunt P. thinks it's great and I just couldn't take it anymore...and look...I labeled the shelves and now you can find everything!"
Don't worry - I wasÂ a good mommy and thanked Thing One forÂ helping and beingÂ thoughtful!
Can't think of any, right now - good...fuhgettaboutit!
In the meantime -Â if you're looking for me - I'll be in the crawl space...sniffing my pits and checking for pods!Â