Summer Vacation - White Bread vs. Whole Grain and Who Knew Shuffleboard Could Be So Sexy? - Day 18
Summer Vacation - All glossed up and nowhere to go - Day 22

Summer Vacation - For The Love of Humpty Dumpty and All Things Rachel Ray - Day 20

"Do you mind...um, since I'm taking it for lunch...if we don't have this for dinner?"

[blank stare]

Oh, I know it sounds terribly "Ozzie and Harriet" on the surface, I thought my husband was trying to be very diplomatic about having to eat leftovers, again.  Hence - rather than taking my coffee mug (because cups are for wussies) and bashing him upside his head, while pulling on his necktie until his face turned blue - the blank stare into domestic oblivion.

Not for nothing, but - I'm no Rachel Ray - no matter how many different ways you dress it up...it's still CHICKEN!

And at the rate my kids have been eating the last few days, he should be happy there's anything left "reasonably edible" to eat!

Take for example, yesterday.

By the time Man of the House got home (7:00 p.m.) I had already run the dish washer three times and taken out the garbage, twice!

Let me tell you, anyone who prepares and/or serves home-cooked meals for their family (I mean, married w/children) EVERY DAY...should STOP IT.

Just kidding.

Truth be told, I am insanely jealous of you and am terribly lacking in the time management and organizational skills - not to mention the energy - it takes to serve a hot and nutritious meal, everyday!

And with an abundance of cute hand gestures and enthusiasm, no less.

I happen to love Rachel Ray - and suffer from the same "talks with hands" disease - and though many don't consider her a "chef" in the classic sense (read: if it ain't french, f*ck it) I happen to think the woman is an absolute genius when it comes to whipping up easy and sensible meals...in the time it takes me to open every blessed cabinet, scratch my head and ultimately reach for the phone or a package of frozen hot dogs.

Nope, I don't cook like I used to and serving chicken (one of the few meats my kids will actually eat...in most any form) can seem awfully old, sometimes.

But, I can sure as hell make it FUN!

Meet Mrs. Humpty Dumpty:

She's a saucy little wench (pictured here pumping up breakfast and wearing a hot-looking polka dot bathing suit) who enjoys slow, sexy mornings and being dipped by anything French (or toasted) and - upon hearing of her dear husband's demise - was quoted as saying, "He was always a bit cracked in the head and quite easily pushed, really!"

Moral of today's story:

If it ain't broke, don't ask me to cook it!

For the love of Humpty Dumpty - it is Hump Day, is it not? - the next time you're sitting down to a nice hot meal, say a quick prayer and don't forget your peas and cues...because this mommy (waves hands wildly and grabs breasts) needs a hug and we're ordering out, DAMMIT!

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