My husband and I had a fight, last night and it wasn't bad or anything in particular - mainly about "bullshit" as a friend and fellow mom-who's-been-there-done-that, later agreed - but, I left the house and considered attending the first (of three) back-to-school night a joyful escape.

Yes, I guess it was bad.

To think leaning against the wall of the "all-purpose room" (used for...you know...all things) of Little Man and Mini-Me's school in a standing-room only crowd of people - not to mention having a really bad back and still crying, a little -as anything more favorable than torture...it's just plain weird, don't you think?

Wait, it's about to get weirder.

After the second session of meet-the-teacher, I lingered a bit and waited to speak with Little Man's (Mrs. Gives-a-shit-load of Homework) about his obsession with...well...anything that can effectively be utilized as a weapon.

The more damage it inflicts, the deeper his fascination.

She didn't think it was a big deal - I, however, felt otherwise when I found a cut-out bear that his class was supposed to color and describe what makes them unique - although, my son's "Sniper Bear" never did make it up on the wall.  Not until he and I had a...very...long...talk...about how much his bear (complete with dark, angry eyebrows and an ammo vest) did NOT look like his Uncle Bud and what the word "sniper" actually means.

[pointing at wall]

"See, there's "Sarge" and he's looking very proud to be an "Army Bear!"

[rolling eyes and grabbing chest]

"Phew...it's just that...well, I'm glad I found it in his folder...and I asked him about it...and I just didn't want you think...you know...that I didn't notice...or, that I'm okay with all the guns...tanks...missiles...heat-seeking...or, otherwise...and...well, hell...we don't even own a gun...thankfully...for my husband's sake...otherwise...he'd be dead...right about now!"

[eyes go wide]

"Oh, hello Mr. Elementary Principal, are we the last ones in the building?"

And I turned...very slowly...and follow her eyes...right to the shocked-look on Mr. Elementary School Principal...well...I had to say something.

"Um...well...we had a fire the other day...and our dishwasher blew-up...and now my husband's pissed because I bought sheets and pillows...to go with our new bed...because...well, after four kids...and all...um...let me tell you about how really bad...my back can get!?!"

Amazingly enough, he listened and - although, most probably out of fear - and I can only hope that my husband does the same...some time today...and doesn't think I'm such a shit...by nightfall.

Weird, perhaps...but, not a shit!

Did I mention my new bed is "da bomb!" and really, really comfortable!

[P.S. - please join me here for Picture-Perfect Thursday...in bed!]