Why...YES!...that is a whole lot of laundry I've got, there...and my family would love to go to Disney...one day...when it doesn't cost an arm...and a leg...or, perhaps selling my first born...but, that's not what this post is about.

Thing Two (pictured above with Doofus Dog) is deathly afraid of mice - all she has to hear is just a little scratching, scuffing and scraping, or the cable guy telling me:

"Yep, those wires sure do look as if they've been chewed on, all right!"

Well, it's enough to send the poor kid into hiding - dirty, stinky clothes, or not - and me screaming, "No mas," with the mice, already!

I mean, it's not like my kids have never seen them before - we do have an open fields that lead to a tiny creek behind our house - and hasn't been cold enough, or anything...but, the girls have been complaining (read: AHHHHHHH, UGHHHHHHH and EWWWWWWW!?!) about not being able to sleep, because they swear:

"There's a mouse in the house!"

[picking up empty candy wrappers and kicking aside piles of laundry]

"Well, can you blame them...look at this room...I mean...EW, can it be any messier...and...UGH, I swear it's starting to smell really bad in here...and...AH, what is your dirty underwear doing under your pillow!?!"

Honestly, are everyone else's girl's room(s) this messy???

My son - although, a total heathen at the dinner table - picks up after himself and keeps his room pretty much...you know...without his underwear hanging out all over the place.

So, when the cable guy - who was absolutely totally nice and adorable, by the way - insisted that he would indeed need to go into the girls' room to check out the what-ever-you-muh-call-it, I sucked my breath in between my teeth and let out a huge sigh.

"Dude, it is sooooo your lucky day!"

[raising eyebrows]

"Oh, really?"

[smirking]

"Uh-huh...c'mon, quick...you're NOT going to buh-leeve what I am about to show you!!!"

[hitches up toolbelt]

"Okay...I doubt that, very much...but, try me."

[eyes go wide]

"Oh...my....GAWD!"

[takes in a deep breath]

"This has GOT to be the neatest, cleanest - not to mention purplest - room I have EVER seen!"

You see, we'd already established the fact that Mr. Cutie Cable Guy was married...with child...and accustomed to dealing with troublesome calls and clientele a little less...um...entertaining.

"I mean...WOW!...four kids...and you got three of 'em...living in here...together...it must have taken you hours to clean this room!"

[smiling]

"Oh, stop it."

[winking]

"No, I swear...you wouldn't buh-leeve some of the places I have to go...and the things I've seen...I mean...it's my job and all...and they do give me ALL the crazies and wackos..."

[eyes go wide]

"...uh...I mean...not that you're like that...a little bit of a clean freak, maybe..."

I didn't give him the chance to finish, grabbed his arm and dragged him back through the house, into the kitchen, up the stairs - pointing out the fact that...YES!...that was MY bra hanging off the banister - and showed him that my room WAS an absolute frickin' mess, DAMMIT!

Later.

It seems that the chore charts I made up for the kids are working - feel free to email me, or leave a comment and I'll be happy to send you a copy of one! - but, now Mini-Me's feeling punk, Little Man's not 100%, yet and it's even warmer today...than yesterday.

So, I promised to pay them an extra dollar...EACH...if they got better...before Christmas...and another fifty-cents to mess their rooms up...just a little...especially when company comes!

Morale of today's story: Why worry about a mouse in the house, when you've got a wack-job for a mother, wiggin' in the kitchen!

It's seven sleeps 'til Christmas,

and all through the house;

The kids are all coughing,

and now we've got a freakin' mouse!

Send cookies!