As a stay-at-home-mom -- who happens to spend a large portion of the day in the car, btw -- if you're a parent...then you know...a vast majority of our time is spent going to and from another practice (or a meeting) and standing on yet another very looooong line because there's, "just one more stop we have to make!"

I swear.

My kids and I have become accustomed to hearing me holler two very conflicting phrases:

"Hurry up!"

...and...

"Wait!"

[see picture above]

180 out of 365, I get to stare at the same cars...ignore the "do not park" signs...and read the same old bumper stickers...twice...and if you are like me...and are prone to severe bouts of pococuRANTism...this can be a very dangerously caustic time, for me - especially at the end of the day!

"I swear...I'm soooo tired...I haven't been home all day...I mean...if I have to wait on one more loooooong line...or, hear one more person ask, "You're NOT working, right?!?" I mean...I swear...I...am...going...to...go...buh..."

And from somewhere behind me, in a very little voice, Mini-me finishes yet another one of my sentences:

"Buwshit!"

[eyes go wide]

"I mean...dat's what you would tell dem...wight, Mama!?!?"

And Thing Two - who is also prone to fits of sheer boredom - playing with my camera phone, snapped a picture of me (ignore the heavy eye baggage and stress-induced zits!) in response:

"Buh-listic...is what I meant to say!"

Don't worry, it's okay...YES, of course having a potty-mouth is a no-no...but, Mommies and Daddies are the exception to the rule...especially at Christmas...and I explained it to her:

"Yes, Mini-me...there is a Bullshit Clause!"

WHAT - didn't you know - it's in our contract!?!

Don't believe me?

You can go look it up - GO AHEAD - hurry up, I'll wait!