I'm not one for giving parenting adviceÂ - not being able to follow simple instructions and accused of being less than cooperative, myself ownself -Â but, sometimes I find myself in the position of having to either agree, disagree or strongly suggest that a person teach their child to use phones, properly!
"Is Thing One there?"
"Um...is Thing One, there?"
"Hello, can you hear me?"
"Yes...but, who am I speaking to?"
[hestating even more]
"Um...oh...this is So-and-So."
"Oh, I get it...okay...um...hello Thing One's Mom...this is So-and-So...may I pleeeeze speak with Thing One?!?!"
[even heavier sigh]
"No, I'm sorry...Thing One is sick and can't come to the phone, right now - perhaps you canÂ try again, tomorrow?"
It'sÂ Monday, the kidsÂ and IÂ wereÂ all sickÂ this weekend andÂ she should feelÂ damned lucky I answered the phone in the first place, trust me - feeling and looking as I do, right nowÂ - you'll thank me, later!
Next week: Teaching your kids the fineÂ art of puking in the toilet and other random crap from aÂ mommyÂ on the edge of jumpingÂ theÂ couch!