The best part about giving birth is when my husband does NOT think it is that easy, either, along with other things anyone can do with a glue gun!
After 2-1/2 hours of labor -- not to mention, enough time for me to get the grocery shopping done -- my husband helped give birth to my son's idea of the perfect brother, as his science recycle project, last night.
"Ah, he's adorable - what's his name, honey?"
I quickly took a picture with my camera phone of - what I thought - was the cutest little robot, I'd ever seen! But, you know, I could have sworn I'd seen the look on my husband's face, before.
"It's...um...Gerard...uh...I mean, Melvin...no, wait...Spike...yeah, that's it...his name is Spike Dude!"
Let's see - face all swollen, red and looking a little blotchy - yep, I've definitely seen this look before.
"Oh, that's a good name - for a robot, I mean - you and Daddy did a really great job, while I was gone!"
"Yes, and...you...are...so...lucky...to...still...have a son!"
Apparently, judging by the way my husband was clenching his teeth, it wasn't an easy delivery.
"Um...okay...but, it IS amazing, what you can do when you have a little time, patience and a glue gun, huh!?!"
"Um...okay...but, thanks for helping him...but, you know I really wouldn't have had the time to get the food shopping done, tomorrow...and...uh...well, giving birth is a lot harder, actually!"
"Okay, already...he's not the easiest kid to work with, I know...but, you and I don't work well in the kitchen, either...and he IS a lot like you, you know!?!?"
Apparently, not - perhaps, giving birth would have been easier - but, at least I know where NOT to touch a glue gun and that baby bots do NOT have...um...what...they look like utters, for goodness sake...growing on the top of its head!
"Do you like his brain - it is the best part and the easiest to make - because, it was your idea, Momma!"
On second thought, don't worry, honey - welcome to the family, Spike Dude - I'm sure that now, at least, you see it's not always fun being the mommy. But, I also understand your fascination with women's breasts and how, this time, it turned out to be a really good thing!
Next week - things you can do around the house by simply using a pair of high heels, a stapler, some toothpaste and a woman's keen sense of proportion.