Thing Two had her 11-year-well-visit, today - okay, so we're 6 months late, again - and I guess the main reason we've been putting it off so long is...

[shivers]

I absolutely HATE needles.

[burps in mouth, a little]

.
Always have, always will.

Taking my kids for their shots is never easy and I think most parents would tend to agree with me on this point (no pun intended) but, insisting that they go through something as traumatic and unpleasant as, GULP, getting a shot in the arm with a very sharp object...well, it's painful!

Taking care of sick parents...sucks wet poodle.

Last week, I called my folks and offered to take my father for the second round of his pain management shots and I swear, you could hear a pin drop.

Hello?

"Uh...no...um...nuh-uh...that's okay, you don't have to come...really...we'll be fine."

It's not that they didn't want me to be there, or anything.

"Besides, you have your hands full, already!"

After all, I did live with them for 25 years - they know.

"We can handle it, this time, without you and don't want you to worry."

Too late - they had me at "handle it" and "without you" - basically, my nerves are shot.

"How are your parents?"

GAH!

The pediatrician was swabbing one of Thing Two's arms and - after my daughter asked that we try and distract her from the shots and talk about, you know, something else - she spoke and I nearly fell out of my chair and peed my pants, a little.

What - appliances are exploding all around me and even the smallest things are setting my world on fire - I'm a little tense, okay!?!

"Oh...well, they're...um...they're haaaaaaang...ing...in...HOLY CATS!"

I grabbed Thing Two's hand in both of mine, put my forehead against hers and closed my eyes.

"Don't look, baby!"

One alligator, two alligators, three alligators...

"Done!"

...four alligators...five alligators...

"Mrs. Thompson?"

I motioned with my hand for her to give me a second, or two.

"There...that wasn't too bad...good job, sweetie!"

[eyes go wide]

"No, but now my hand hurts like crazy!"

I'm telling you, it's amazing - what a good few seconds of absolutely nothing, will do for a person like, you know, me - and I felt really, you know, good.

"Okay, one down and three more to go!"

[burp]

Actually, Thing Two decided to get two of her shots now and the other two, later.

"No problem, I can always bring her back during Mini-me's well-visit, next week."

[eyes go wide]

"NO...uh, I mean...that won't be necessary...they can wait a month or, at this point, even two, perhaps it would be better, Mrs. Thompson."

My sister-in-law is coming home from Arizona -- YAY! -- and moving in with us, for a while; my parents are planning one last trip to Hungary, last minute (of course) and I've got the BlogHer conference to get ready for in...um...HOLY CATS...less than two weeks!

Let me think.

"OKAY!"

To think, I've only been passing out in her chair for 6 years, or so, give or take a hypodermic.

"You and your kids are so funny...I still remember how the three of you first came to me...before Mini-me was born, I mean...and how you all cried after Little Man got his shots!"

Still - most people would probably be surprised to learn just how nervous I can get, especially about traveling and having to meet new people, ALONE - it's always nice when people remind me to, you know, chill out and get over myself.

"We ARE still babysitting for you, right?"

[eyes go wide]

"NO...uh...thanks guys...but, um...I mean, your calendar's full of doctor appointments...and there's your trip to get ready for...and everything."

One alligator...two alligators...three alligators...
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Morale of the story:   Don't let the awkward silence worry you too much, it's those nasty mommy glares - you know, the kind that says, "Die, you over-breeding little twit," and then sets your hair on fire - are the ones we all should learn to watch out for!

[shiver]

Don't worry, I'll be fine - it's bound to grow back, sometime - in the meantime, please feel free to stay a while, clean off a chair and mind the killer dust bunnies.

If anyone needs me, I'll be upstairs....cleaning out the closets and cursing my wardrobe!