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Thursday Thirteen #3: The Sisterhood of the Traveling Rants

Thursdaythirteescary

As most of you know, by now - especially, if you've recently had the pleasure of spending an outrageous amount of time waiting in an airport, WITH ME - I'm not a very good airline traveler.

[burp]

Excuse me, but attending BlogHer '07 was the first time I had boarded an airplane in 15 years and, thankfully, I was lucky enough to be seated next to a young couple (he was from Chicago and they were both moving back to her home, in Norway) who were kind enough to talk me up...through...and down the entire way.

[I would link to my post, where I blogged about it, but I can't seem to get anyone to tell me just how in the heck to download them from the wpdatabase dump...as if, I have time...or, obtain the necessary degree(s)...to be able to convert .sql to .xml...DANGIT!]

Then, remember my trip to California, earlier this month?

[Which, I can link to...because, I decided to re-post all of October...before the dump, just in case...since, I am SUCH a dork!]

Where my plane was re-routed to Dulles and the naked dude?

[insert mental etcha-sketch, NOW!]

Well, I must be a magnet of misfortune - these things seem to happen to me...all...the...time - although, it could always have been worse and...now, that I think on it some more...a couple of scenarios come to mind.

Thirteen things about flying the friendly skies:

  • Taking the last of a box of Dramamine and finding out that your flight's been delayed, the recommended dose!
  • Deciding to buy another box, ANYWAY...and realizing that you're out of cash and you've lost your debit card!
  • Feeling nauseous while waiting in a standing-room-only crowd of annoyed business travelers, suddenly remembering that you're a bit claustrophobic, as well and hoping that you do NOT actually, throw up...OUTLOUD.
  • Having your flight delayed, AGAIN, throwing your arms up in exasperation and then hitting the guy in the head, standing next to you.
  • Fully admitting that you are an absolute klutz and then tripping over his suitcase, as an exclamation point!
  • Boarding the plane, FINALLY, and realizing that not only are you...way...in...the...back...of...the...plane...AGAIN...but, the guy you just rammed with the umbrella (the one she insisted you take, btw) yep, he IS sitting next to you.
  • Having your flight delayed - what, NOT again!?!? - and sitting on the plane for another two hours, on the ground!
  • Skipping dinner, making fun of your MIL for suggesting that you go and buy a candy bar, just in case and then tearing into the rest of your spearmint gum, as if it were your last meal on earth...sorry, Mom...stupid United Airlines!
  • Nearly losing your lunch...in your purse...but, finding your debit card.
  • Not being able to find a way to remedy the nervous habit of yawning, nearly choking on your spit and then spitting your gum on the passenger sitting in front of you.
  • And wondering who you'll be sitting next to, in Hades, for NOT telling her.
  • Arriving to your destination, FINALLY, with a splitting headache, and finding out that your driver is an excellent conversationalist!
  • You realize that you can talk and chew gum, with your eyes closed...at the same time...while your driver politely carries ALL of your bags to the front door, thanks you for a pleasant trip and refuses to take a tip...thinking, perhaps you're NOT such a dork, after all!

Yeah, I guess now you see why it could always have been worse....besides, you could have been traveling with me...stupid United Airlines!

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