It's unsettling, really.  Like looking into a mirror.  Mini-me has my eyes, my hair (poor thing) and my parents often times tell me that my youngest daughter (she's 6) is a mini-version of her mother (hence, her blog name) and yet (judging by the look on her face, pictured above) I believe that she HAS to be the saddest looking kid in the blogosphere, right now.

Unlike her mother, the girl absolutely HATES to take a shower - although, walking in the cold wet rain, WITHOUT wearing her hood, IS apparently pure nirvana - and, sadly, Mini-me has also inherited her father's penchant for...um...foot funk.

Phew.

Combined with a healthy dose of the creeping crud - an oxymoron, I know - her end of the day "funkiness," surpassed that of her brother, even.

Double-phew.

"Um...when was the last time you took a shower?"

The words were no sooner out of my mouth, when I realized...DUH...like, she's really going to tell me, you know, the truth.

"Yesterday!"

Which would have made it - at the time of this conversation - Saturday night, once my parents left, after a pretty lousy dinner, one that I had prepared, while sick, and having scolded me for it.

"You look terrible and should have just stayed in bed!"

After, my SIL took The Boy over to my in-laws for a last-minute sleepover.

"Yes, I'm sure I want to go to Grandma's and I do NOT want to sleep here, tonight!"

Before, Thing One called me from her overnight camping trip to tell me that I was wrong and she was right.

"See, it's only 15 minutes away from our house and I am STILL alive."

Right before Thing Two and I got into it, over her insisting that she get some private time, with me.

"But, I haven't even sat down, from cleaning up, yet!"

Still.

"Okey-dokey, if you say so."

I was too tired to argue and...well, there WAS a lot going on and it seemed reasonable at the time.

"Just remember to put on clean underwear!"

'Cause, you never know.

"Oh, and don't forget to wear your new pretty shoes, too."

[sniff]

Hang on.

"Come here, a minute."

[sniff-sniff]

"Ah, man...Sweetie, you stink!"

I know (I suck) but, there was no way I was going to take her to my cousin-in-law's open house, yesterday - I mean, we don't see them but once a year - smelling, you know, like a bad mother, or anything!

"Do you remember when Mini-me showered, last?"

[sound of crickets chirping]

"I don't know; whenever YOU showered her, last, I guess?"

I know - with parents like us, it's a wonder the child's not running around, naked - but, she IS our 4th child, you know.

"Well, let's see...it wasn't yesterday...and we were BOTH sick Thursday and Friday...so, that means Wednesday...[shiver}...GO TAKE A SHOWER!"

Done.

"Well, that was quick."

[sniff]

"You do smell a whole lot better...hey...wait a minute."

I mean, who does this kid think she's trying to kid - you won't BELIEVE it - take a closer look and YOU tell me what I'm supposed to think?

Paying a little more attention to the dusting of white - and less on the mad cowlicks, going on - it was plain to see that Mini-me was trying to pull a fast one and, parenting gods forgive me, it was when her eyes went real WIDE, I started to laugh!

"But, Thing Two told me to just go into duh baf-room, use a lot of baby powder and that you pro-luh-bee would NOT even notice duh diff-wince!"

[wincing]

Niiiiiiice.

"Well I most definitely DID notice and she was wrong, then; wasn't she!?!?"

That's when she gave me the face (see picture at beginning of post) and her bad mother folded like a cheap tent.

"Oh, don't worry...it's okay and PLEASE, don't cry!"

I mean, it's NOT her fault, that I feel so burned out, that I can't even remember the last time the poor kid was introduced to a bar of soap and that Thing Two gave her some really bad advice.

"I'll come in and help you take a shower, 'kay?"

You know where this going; don't you?

"Okay, Momma and good thing..."

Wait for it.

"...'cause Thing Two thinks you STINK..."

Just, wait.

"...but, I don't bee-weave her."

Wait...for...it.

"You don't?"

Here it comes.

"Nope, 'cause you STILL smell good."

BAM!

"Even when you ARE all mean and nasty!"

Of course, I didn't see it coming - I mean, my parents always DID say they were, you know, a lot smarter - and if I can't be a good example, at least, let this be a terrible warning, to all.

[sniff-sniff]

Apparently, she's right.

[Did you enjoy this post?  Why not subscribe to email updates or the RSS feed.]