Make Me Laugh Monday: Baby You Can Ride My Car
Meanwhile, Back at Kamp Kegel - Part II

Hump Day Diddy Dumbs: Project Mom

Thisfullhouse

I love this picture - my husband, Garth (not his real name) took it on Memorial Day - I mean, take a real close look at those smiles.  Yep - they look real enough - fresh from the runway, all warm and fuzzy like a slice of apple pie.

Don't we look like the typical all-American family, all happy, sweet and ready for their photo shoot with New Jersey Life Magazine?

Not that we have one scheduled, or anything, but - if we did - our cover story would read:

"This Full House and its Keeper - She ain't no Heidi Klum, but she's pretty good under the gun!"

Especially, when it comes to period clothing - and I don't mean the historically designed-type, either - and, if you're a man, you might want to click on over to something a little more...you know...manly!

I've been working on a pretty cool project the last couple of weeks - can't tell you what yet, or I'll have to kiss you to the point where you'll want to forget - and turned my calendar to find that it was due, yesterday!

Literally.

Feeling the pressure (more than usual, I mean) my poor family has been living on hot dogs and hamburgers rolled up in white bread (food shopping, you serious?) for the last few days and I've pretty much ignored everything else with an equal amount of HOLY CRAP!

Aaaaand the phone rings, again.

"HOLY CRAP, what now!?!?"

Because, just about everyone I know knows, I work from home.

"OH, hi Mom!"

Aaaaand that I screen our calls.

"What is it, now?"

Well, long story short (you're welcome) my oldest daughter (she's 14) called to ask if I could bring some spare clothes to school...for her friend.

"Because, her parents aren't home today and are both working."

[one beat, two beats, three beats]

BOOM!

"So, like I'm supposed to, like, drop everything and bail her out?"

Silence.

"That's sooooo not faiiiiir!"

[one beats, two beats, three beats]

"Mom, she got her period and she's pretty messed up."

Silence.

"I'll be right there."

Shit.

I felt like a total asshat for going off on the kid, like that.  Still.  I'm getting really tired of having to drop everything to bail other people out.  Constantly.  I'm NOT trying to be mean.  It's just that my life is a circus, too and it doesn't take much to break my train of thought.

Silence.

Oh, yeah...okay, I've had my fair share of embarrassing moments and you couldn't pay me enough to be a teenager, again!

"Thank you, Mommy!"

No, I am NOT the most perfect woman in the world - don't worry, my kids already know and are good with that - but, I like to think that I am a work in progress and when things get really crappy?

"I love you, Mommy!"

The mom in me tends to takeover and things just sort of have this way of working out pretty okay, anyway.

"I love you, Mrs. Thompson!"

And that's all that matters, right?

"Um...what size ARE these pants?

Riiiiiight.

"Hmmm...I dunno...jussst, MAKE IT WORK!"

So, yeah...um...don't quit your day job, Heidi!

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