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The 7 Words You Can (or) CanNOT Say in My House!


George Carlin died, yesterday and - though, the man seemed to enjoy breaking the boundaries of good taste - his humor never failed to leave me speechless, or gasping for breath and nearly peeing my pants in absolute fits of laughter.  Especially, after having kids (Kegels be darned!) when I found myself empathizing with Mr. Carlin's need to challenge conventional wisdom.

My parents immigrated to the U.S. in 1956 and he learned English from watching old westerns on television and he soon found out that the most successful way to include himself in conversation was by extensive use of..well...curse words.

No, Mr. Carlin's material was definitely NOT family-friendly.  But, it was real and often times hit a very raw nerve - especially, in middle-class America and the furor over his bit about "The Seven Words You Can't Say on Television" is legendary.

Which, inspired me to write a parentally motivated (G) rated list of my own.


The Seven Words You CANNOT SAY in My House:

  1. Decaffeinated
  2. Stupid
  3. Diet
  4. Ovulating
  5. Chargeit (Yeah, it's one word!)
  6. Laundry
  7. Housewife

The Seven Words You WILL NOT SAY in My House:

  1. Decaffeinated
  2. Privacy
  3. Overslept
  4. New
  5. One
  6. Irreplaceable
  7. Twinkies

The Seven Words You MUST SAY in My House:

  1. Share
  2. Clearance
  3. Please
  4. Because
  5. Enough
  6. Antibiotic
  7. Childproof

The Seven Words My Kids HAVE SAID in My House...A Whole Lot, Lately:

  1. Damn
  2. Fart
  3. Crap
  4. Butthead
  5. Unfair
  6. No
  7. Annoying

The Seven Words I WOULD LOVE TO SAY:

  1. We
  2. Are
  3. Moving
  4. To
  5. A
  6. Bigger
  7. House

R.I.P. George Carlin - your words will be missed - in my house, anyway!


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