Mommy the Frenemy Slayer
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Co-ed Sleepovers: Yay, Nay or NO FREAKIN' WAY?

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Growing up and letting go, one child at a time!

Remember the other day?  You know, when I first realized that my 7-year-old daughter admittedly accepted the fact that it's tough being friends with a girl and NOT be sucked into all the meanness?

How do I know this?

Because, I was a girl (once) and STILL feel the sting of being singled out for wearing a pale lemon yellow body suit, without a training bra, in the 3rd grade and (especially, if you were a girl once) you know that some girls grow up to be moms and are raising their girls the same exact way.

Or, not.

Right, or wrong, the girl can't help it...because, she's a girl.

"So, did you hear that So-and-So had a boy sleepover at her 13-year-old daughter's party?"

[eyes go wide]

At this point in my life, I don't insist on getting to involved in my kids affairs...as much as I used to...I mean.

"Yeah, actually I did, and my kid was invited and went to that same party, too."

Unless, however, it was my 13 year-old daughter and I found out a boy attended the same sleepover party....FROM ANOTHER MOTHER???

"Oh, but it's okay...he's gay!"

I was invited to a St. Patrick's Day open house hosted by a mom friend of mine (who, just might be reading along, right now...stupid Facebook) and if you were there (along with the other dozen neighborhood moms) you would NOT have mistaken my sarcasm for acceptance, at first.

"I don't care if he's gay, or not!"

Or, would you have missed the fact that my friend found out from another mom (even though, her oldest is 10) and thought it was totally unacceptable and probably wondered (silently) how my husband, Garth (not his real name) and I could have let our kid go to a sleepover party with a boy...gay, or not!

"We didn't know."

I mean, I knew that he was gay -- actually, he's a really sweet kid and is very good friends with my 15 year-old girl -- but, I didn't find out that he was at the party, until after, when my 13 year-old showed me the pictures she took from the party and, you know, he was there.

"The parent's didn't tell you?"

Nope.

"Maybe, he just showed up and they didn't know."

On the other hand, if it was my kid's party, it would have been difficult for me, too.

"Hello, Mrs. Thompson, this is Progressive Mom and I just wanted to call and let you know that Masculine Friend is here and will be sleeping over, as well...are you okay with that?"

Holy crap and pass the smelling salts!

"Either way, your kid SHOULD have told you!"

Aaaaand, how would that conversation have gone?

"Hey, mom, Progressive Daughter is having a sleepover and Good Friend, Best Friend, Best Friend Forever and Sometimes Frenemy are going, oh and Masculine Friend will be there, but it's okay, because you know he's gay, too...so, can I go?"

Um, no.

"Either way, I should have known better."

This is not my first kid, or our first sleepover horror story, either.  Suffice it to say, my kid knows that she won't be sleeping over anyone else's house, again, unless I know EXACTLY who else is there, sharing a sleeping bag, or not.

Not at 13!

"But, daddy slept over your house when you were living with Mama and Papa!"

Yes, but I was 25 and my father STILL likes to think that he was being very, very, progressive, or that I was probably STILL a virgin, too.

The other moms?

Well, we were all pretty much in agreement...the OTHER mother should have known better, too.

"Besides, how can a 15 year-old possibly know he's gay?"

Aaaand, that's when I excused myself, went home, locked all the doors, drew the shades, popped in one of my kids' old tapes into the vcr and pretended like it was 1993, all over again.

"I love you, you love me, we're a happy fam-muh-lee!"

Remember Barney, he was purple and oh my gosh, you think maybe he was gay, too!?!?!?

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