Looking For Some Hot Fun in the Summertime, Then You Must NOT Be From Jersey!

I got the call around 8 p.m. Saturday night, while I was saying goodbye to my in-laws and thanking them for bringing my husband, Garth [not his real name] into the 21st century, by giving him a cool new mp3 player for his birthday (me next, okay?) and it is perhaps one of the most dreaded phone call (besides, you know, the school nurse, of course) that THIS Jersey mom hates, anyways.

"Wanna go on the hook?"

[blank stare]

Oh, I'm sorry, for those of you who are NOT from Jersey (i.e., Bennies) as you can see from the map of "the shore" (i.e. South of the Driscoll Bridge) "the hook" refers to Sandy Hook (see number 1 on map, above) and is lovingly referred to as the Gateway to the Jersey Shore.

[shiver]

"Um...uh...yeah...but, I'm busy saying goodbye to my in-laws, right now."

Silence.

"It's Garth's [not his real name] birthday."

[heavy sigh]

"Sure; what time?"

You see, Naturally-Tanned Mom LOVES the beach and we've been friends long enough for her to know that I can be pursuaded with the promise of a cranberry cocktail and...DAYUM...but, I hate, HAte, HATe, HATE driving in traffic!!!

"Won't be that bad; It's early, yet."

2 hours later.

"ARE...[cough]...WE...[gasp]...THERE...[wheeze]...YET!?!?"

Who knew that everyone (AND their brother) would have had the same exact idea and it's still only April, right?!?

Still. It really was a beautiful day. The surf was calm (for once) and the horizon did have that hazy, lazy look that we love so much.

I mean, we only live 12 miles away (typicaly a 25 minute drive, in Jersey) and, well, there are just too many memories from summers past, that the kids and I would miss, if it weren't for living so close to the beach.

Like, the sound of sea gull's cry, while swarms of crunchy little feet romp through the sand and dig for buried treasure.

Sharing goodies from our cooler and more than a few suh-weet surprises that Naturally-Tanned Mom always seems to remember to bring, gosh-darn her!

The amazingly resortative power of a sea breeze and how quickly those tiny little freckles appear soon after the sun's first kiss.

Not unlike another of my most favorite cocktails (what, did I mention, I have children?) those sea breezes really can sneak up on you to the point where everything from the neck up goes, you know, all curly.

Still, the disappointment of having to sit in 4 1/2 hours of traffic, for 1 1/2 hours of beach time, was really just TOO MUCH and, sorry to say my kid's are in agreement (for once) we won't be back anytime soon.

Not until construction's done, anyways.

"Was it really THAT BAD?"