Mom, but what BIG ARMS you have -- why, yes, the better to hug you with, my dear! For years (or, as long as this blog has existed...anyways) I have considered the phrase, "Stay-at-Home-Mom" an oxymoron, like: The Great Depression - to which, my in-laws insist that it was, in fact, you know, not so great. Dry lake - although, I don't seem to have an immediate problem with dry wine. Original copy - as opposed to, a copied original, I think. Clearly misunderstood - is one of my husband's favorite phrases, actually (he's married to me, I know, SHUDUP!)... Read more →

Yeah, well, YOU shut up and drive! I have ALWAYS thought the acronym SAHM (stay-at-home-mom) to be an oxymoron. Yes, I have kids. Yes, I am home (right now) and yes, my kids are also in school (full-time) but, I will be leaving my house (in about 30 minutes) to bring kids back home and NOT all of them happen to be mine, either. I am in charge of "the after school" portion of the carpool. [waves to Carpooling Mom, she reads my blog] You see, Carpooling Mom does "the morning run," and I, well, get an extra 25 minutes... Read more →

D'oh, Ah loves it when Mama does that... Mah moms is not heres, right now and...d'oh...excuse me a minute, puh-leeze. BARK-BARK-WOOF-BARKITY-WOOF-WOOF! D'oh, sorry 'bout that. Ah hates squirrels. Don't yous? Anyways. Mah moms is not heres, I think and...um...d'oh yeah...ah remembers now. [heavy sigh] Ah loves that pit-cher of me...you know...d'oh, Doofus-Dawg and Mama. [blank stare] D'oh, yeah, ah remembers, now...hers is mah mom's...you know...dad and ...d'oh...that's naught right, either...'cause, everybodies knows dads are lots hairy and gots long ears, like me. SNORT! D'oh...aaaaaanyways...so, mah moms wuz out visitin' with her moms and dads on Sundays...uh...ah think it was yesterdays...d'oh...aaaaaanyhow...hers... Read more →

Alexey Venetsianov. Cartomancy. 1842. Oil on canvas. The Russian Museum, St. Petersburg, Russia. (image source) I remember the first time I got "my cards read," I was only 13 (my middle girl's age) and it freaked me out, big time. Her name was Charlotte and she practiced "cartomancy," which sounds an awful lot like "gastromancy," but has nothing to do with being romantically involved with someone who works for the gas company -- although, considering today's economy, it certainly would be a perk -- she was, however, no "charlatan." "You will marry a man, with 5 letters in his name... Read more →

Let's play! It's that time of year, again -- we "ghosted" our neighbors, last night -- so, "Pass the puking pumpkin, please!" [sound of crickets chirping] What, with all the [ahem] negativity flying around our lovely little community, lately (seriously, NOT fun) I think it's about time we tapped into our inner-child and go and ghost someone! Positively, YES! The rules are easy: (1) It's your turn to "ghost" three other bloggers -- perhaps, somewhere you haven't commented, in a while, or a blog you've NEVER commented on before and is new to our blogging community. (2) Stop by their... Read more →

D'oh, good mornin'...welcome to the dawg house.Mah mom is not heres, right now and...d'oh...excuse me a minute, puh-leeze. BARK-BARK-WOOF-BARKITY-WOOF-WOOF! D'oh, sorry 'bout that. Ah hates some peoples, sometimes. Don't yous? Anyways. Mah mom is not heres, I think and...um...d'oh yeah...ah remembers now. [heavy sigh] Er...rum...ah...nuh...ah's in troubles, again. [blank stare] D'oh, yeah, ah remembers, now...ah tried to eat the garbage man...d'oh...that's naught right, either...'cause, everybody knows peoples tastes funny. SNORT! D'oh, ah tried to eat the garbage, again...[sneeze]...but, mah mom made it so ah can'ts git to it, anymores. AH-WHOO! Stupid child locks -- ifs ah only had thumbs. SNORT!... Read more →

My friend and fellow Jersey girl Cartoon Goddess has challenged me to be completely honest and, well, contrary to everything I have ever been taught (most especially, by Billy Joel) honesty is NOT the hardest part. Saying 10 honest things about me, that you guys, you know, don't already know? After 6 years of blogging my deepest, darkest secrets (okay, so, except maybe mine is mostly about laundry and a bit more, I dunno, dark grayish) there really isn't much left to tell...or, is there? So, here it goes, 10 things that I have never, EVER told anyone, except maybe... Read more →