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November 2009

October 2009

Not So SAHM, Anymore

Mom, but what BIG ARMS you have -- why, yes, the better to hug you with, my dear! For years (or, as long as this blog has existed...anyways) I have considered the phrase, "Stay-at-Home-Mom" an oxymoron, like: The Great Depression - to which, my in-laws insist that it was, in fact, you know, not so great. Dry lake - although, I don't seem to have an immediate problem with dry wine. Original copy - as opposed to, a copied original, I think. Clearly misunderstood - is one of my husband's favorite phrases, actually (he's married to me, I know, SHUDUP!) Makes no sense, right? Sort of like a house wife. What is she, once she leaves the house; does she become a part-time wife; if she drives a car, is she cheating on the house; does anyone else spend way too much time thinking about stupid stuff, like this? Or,... Read more →

© This Full House 2003-2019. All rights reserved.

It's Not the Years, HONEY - It's the Mileage!

Yeah, well, YOU shut up and drive! I have ALWAYS thought the acronym SAHM (stay-at-home-mom) to be an oxymoron. Yes, I have kids. Yes, I am home (right now) and yes, my kids are also in school (full-time) but, I will be leaving my house (in about 30 minutes) to bring kids back home and NOT all of them happen to be mine, either. I am in charge of "the after school" portion of the carpool. [waves to Carpooling Mom, she reads my blog] You see, Carpooling Mom does "the morning run," and I, well, get an extra 25 minutes to kiss my husband (he wishes!) or, pour another cup of coffee (or, 20) before heading out into suburban hell (a.k.a. my youngest daughter's elementary school!) Unless it's raining. "UGH!" Or, one of my two oldest daughters are running late. "Who turned off the alarm, again?" Mostly, my 16 year-old.... Read more →

© This Full House 2003-2019. All rights reserved.

Monday Morning With Doofus-Dawg: Mama Always DID Like Me Best!

D'oh, Ah loves it when Mama does that... Mah moms is not heres, right now and...d'oh...excuse me a minute, puh-leeze. BARK-BARK-WOOF-BARKITY-WOOF-WOOF! D'oh, sorry 'bout that. Ah hates squirrels. Don't yous? Anyways. Mah moms is not heres, I think and...um...d'oh yeah...ah remembers now. [heavy sigh] Ah loves that pit-cher of me...you know...d'oh, Doofus-Dawg and Mama. [blank stare] D'oh, yeah, ah remembers, now...hers is mah mom's...you know...dad and ...d'oh...that's naught right, either...'cause, everybodies knows dads are lots hairy and gots long ears, like me. SNORT! D'oh...aaaaaanyways...so, mah moms wuz out visitin' with her moms and dads on Sundays...uh...ah think it was yesterdays...d'oh...aaaaaanyhow...hers done took the girls someplace and ah spendid the day...all alones...with mah dads and the boy! BARK-BARK-WOOF-BARKITY-WOOF-WOOF Boys rawk, for realz! [heavy sigh] Aaaaanyways, mah moms gots home real late, like it was dark and times to goes to sleeps kinda late, for realz. AH-WHOO! Mah moms was soooooo tired,... Read more →

© This Full House 2003-2019. All rights reserved.

The Future Looks Bleak, I Gotta Wear Spades!

Alexey Venetsianov. Cartomancy. 1842. Oil on canvas. The Russian Museum, St. Petersburg, Russia. (image source) I remember the first time I got "my cards read," I was only 13 (my middle girl's age) and it freaked me out, big time. Her name was Charlotte and she practiced "cartomancy," which sounds an awful lot like "gastromancy," but has nothing to do with being romantically involved with someone who works for the gas company -- although, considering today's economy, it certainly would be a perk -- she was, however, no "charlatan." "You will marry a man, with 5 letters in his name and you will have 4 children." See? "Your brother will have a career in the Army and marry the Colonel's daughter." HAH! Actually, I think her father was a Sargent, or something! "You and your children will live a long and happy life." Perhaps it's because of my Hungarian upbringing.... Read more →

© This Full House 2003-2019. All rights reserved.

Nearly Wordless Wednesday: You've Been Ghosted - The Puking Pumpkin Starts Here!

Let's play! It's that time of year, again -- we "ghosted" our neighbors, last night -- so, "Pass the puking pumpkin, please!" [sound of crickets chirping] What, with all the [ahem] negativity flying around our lovely little community, lately (seriously, NOT fun) I think it's about time we tapped into our inner-child and go and ghost someone! Positively, YES! The rules are easy: (1) It's your turn to "ghost" three other bloggers -- perhaps, somewhere you haven't commented, in a while, or a blog you've NEVER commented on before and is new to our blogging community. (2) Stop by their blogs and leave a comment on their latest post saying: "You've Just Been Ghosted -- Come Over and Grab A Puking Pumpkin!" (3) Copy and paste the puking pumpkin somewhere on your blog (either in a post or on your sidebar, perhaps) so that everyone can see that you have... Read more →

© This Full House 2003-2019. All rights reserved.

Monday Morning With Doofus-Dawg: Ah Ate an Apple and Ah Liked It!

D'oh, good mornin'...welcome to the dawg house.Mah mom is not heres, right now and...d'oh...excuse me a minute, puh-leeze. BARK-BARK-WOOF-BARKITY-WOOF-WOOF! D'oh, sorry 'bout that. Ah hates some peoples, sometimes. Don't yous? Anyways. Mah mom is not heres, I think and...um...d'oh yeah...ah remembers now. [heavy sigh] Er...rum...ah...nuh...ah's in troubles, again. [blank stare] D'oh, yeah, ah remembers, now...ah tried to eat the garbage man...d'oh...that's naught right, either...'cause, everybody knows peoples tastes funny. SNORT! D'oh, ah tried to eat the garbage, again...[sneeze]...but, mah mom made it so ah can'ts git to it, anymores. AH-WHOO! Stupid child locks -- ifs ah only had thumbs. SNORT! D'oh...aaaaaanyways...so, when theys wuz out visitin' with Mama and Papa, yesterdays...uh...ah think it was yesterdays...d'oh...aaaaaanyhow...ah was mad theys left me home...all alones...with the stupid catz...AGAIN!. BARK-BARK-WOOF-BARKITY-WOOF-WOOF Catz are mean, for realz! [heavy sigh] Sooooo, ah ate one of them thar apples mom keeps on the dinin' room tables and, you... Read more →

© This Full House 2003-2019. All rights reserved.

Completely Honest

My friend and fellow Jersey girl Cartoon Goddess has challenged me to be completely honest and, well, contrary to everything I have ever been taught (most especially, by Billy Joel) honesty is NOT the hardest part. Saying 10 honest things about me, that you guys, you know, don't already know? After 6 years of blogging my deepest, darkest secrets (okay, so, except maybe mine is mostly about laundry and a bit more, I dunno, dark grayish) there really isn't much left to tell...or, is there? So, here it goes, 10 things that I have never, EVER told anyone, except maybe my husband, Garth [not his real name] but, he's not talking to me, at the moment, so, you know... I canNOT, for the life of me, remember a blessed thing, anymore; like, names of people I have just met a few minutes ago, hollering for the wrong kid (again) and... Read more →

© This Full House 2003-2019. All rights reserved.