For years (or, as long as this blog has existed...anyways) I have considered the phrase, "Stay-at-Home-Mom" an oxymoron, like:

• The Great Depression - to which, my in-laws insist that it was, in fact, you know, not so great.
• Dry lake - although, I don't seem to have an immediate problem with dry wine.
• Original copy - as opposed to, a copied original, I think.
• Clearly misunderstood - is one of my husband's favorite phrases, actually (he's married to me, I know, SHUDUP!)

Makes no sense, right?  Sort of like a house wife.  What is she, once she leaves the house; does she become a part-time wife; if she drives a car, is she cheating on the house; does anyone else spend way too much time thinking about stupid stuff, like this?

Or, the bigger question (in my mind) does it really matter?

"What do you mean, you got a job?"

Apparently, to some of my children, it really does.

"Who's gonna stay at home, with us?"

Yes, I got a job...well, if you consider working 2 1/2 hours, 3 times a week, a job, I mean...but, it DOES mean actually leaving the house and, you know, getting paid!

"I will, silly." 

Once again, I was clearly misunderstood.

"Phew, I thought you said you got a job?"

See what I mean?

"Yes, I start next week!"

I swear, you could hear all 4 of their gorgeous little minds, slam on their imaginary brakes and, truth be told, I was feeling a little guilty about finding amusement in their mass confusion.

"GAH...but, you said...d'oh, I don't get!"

I mean, it should be easy enough to explain:

• Yes, mommy got a job.
• No, not like daddy's. 
• Yes, I will be getting paid. 
• No, I will not have any vacation, or sick days.
• Yes, I have to get dressed and leave the house.
• No, I will not be home for soccer practice, or girl scouts.
• Yes, I will be home for dinner, or when you're home sick, from school.
• No, you can't come with me.
• Yes, it's a real job.

Then, there's the whole SAHM thing:

• Yes, I will be home, during the day, mostly.
• No, I can't go to work in my pajamas.
• Yes, I will be getting paid, on time and FOR REAL!
• No, it STILL won't get us to Disney...yet.
• Yes, I still get to keep my day job, mostly.
• No, I don't know how I will find the time, either.
• Yes, I am very excited.
• No, I don't feel guilty.
• Yes, I feel guilt.

Clearly, I'm unclear about my feelings. 

Perhaps it's time for a new acronym -- besides SAHMMA, you know, the one I created, yesterday, I mean -- something that describes, rather than defines, a mother's right to decide what works best for her, and/or her family.

Either way, IMHO -- in my humble opinion -- no, it really doesn't matter.

The job?

I don't know how to describe it, other than, it involves hanging out with a bunch of sweaty women and trying, real hard, not to break any really expensive exercise equipment.

"No, seriously, mom, you, a fitness instructor?"

Sort of.

[pause for laughter]

I start next week!

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