Of Cats, Brothers and a BITCH Called Cancer
A Thanksgiving Prank Gone Bad

Ghosts of Thanksgiving Past

Bud and Pam 1st Thanksgiving

Bud and Pam's 1st Thanksgiving 2008

Over the years, I've grown accustomed to having family over for the holidays and, as the kids get older, I find myself worrying less about the table setting (nope, it doesn't match) or, the food preparation (yes, some of it comes out of a can) not to mention, I don't bother too much about making lists, anymore (seriously?) or, worry whether I've managed to hunt down each and every dust bunny (they're sort of like pets, really and I've even named a few) or not.

Because, no matter how my husband, Garth [not his real name] and I try, we've come to accept the simple fact that, with a family as big as ours (direct and extended) somethings just don't go right and, before you can say, "Pass the potatoes," someone's puking all over your nice, clean and shiny floors.

Last year?

I pretty much insisted that I would not mind it, in the least, if my brother and his wife, you know, did Thanksgiving.

Because, in our house, it isn't the holidays unless someone in the family is sick or is scheduled for a surgical procedure, like tomorrow.

This year?

Although, my middle girl, Heather (she's 13) is STILL dealing with the same danged creeping crud (WAY better than I have, I might add) it seems to have gone into hibernation.

[knocking on wood until knuckles bleed]

So, the rest of my kids are getting used to learning how to share, rather than compete, for our attention (unfortunately, these days, everything is viral) and my parents, well, they're getting older, too.

Each year, we get to spend together, however difficult, unplanned, or imperfect, IS a gift.

All things considered, along with a few things I haven't bothered to mention (you're welcome) I am very thankful that this passed year wasn't, you know, any worse.

This week?

My brother got some really bad news (cancer can #suckit) and then, with the help of some of our closest Internet friends (yeah, I'm surprised that he friended me on Facebook, too) my brother gave cancer a BIG old-fashioned Jersey bitch-slap, it deserves.

HOOAH!

Although, we probably won't be able to see him and my SIL on Thursday (stupid cancer) I am thankful to know that they are, at least, you know, within spitting distance.

[hocks-a-loogie]

Today?

I'm pretty much ready to take back Thanksgiving and make that bitch mine.

"Strep test came back negative, but there's a lot of puss on his tonsils and, well, it could be mono."

Glen is home with...um...something...so, we're waiting and hoping his fever breaks, before Thursday and well, just remember to call first, okay?

"Mom, it's up to 103!!!"

Um...OH!...look over there!

[sniff-sniff]

"Are we still having Thanksgiving?"

Did you happen to notice my nice shiny clean floors?

"Oh yes, there WILL be turkey, dammit!!!"

[hocks-a-loogie]

Have a Happy Thanksgiving -- or a reasonable facsimile, thereof.

Liz@thisfullhouse signature

© 2009 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.

© This Full House 2003-2019. All rights reserved.
comments powered by Disqus