My husband, Garth [not his real name] and I attended his company's holiday party, last weekend and -- although, this is our 21st Christmas -- it's been a long time since we've attended a company party, together.
"Should we valet-it, tonight?"
We had no choice (no self-parking allowed) seriously, the banquet center is in a real swanky part of the county (I could very nearly spit to Bon Jovi's and Springsteen's house) but, everyone was allowed to bring a guest.
"I don't believe you've met my wife..."
Actually, we both knew only a handful of folks and there were, like, over 200
people there (no biggie, after BlogHer, I know) but, the atmosphere was that of 1 big happy family (mostly) and we ALL toasted my husband's upcoming 1st anniversary with The Kinder and Gentler Bank.
"Would you like another glass of Pinot Grigio?"
Did I mention, there was an open bar?
"I'll have the Chateau Briand, thank you!"
Needless to say, Garth [not his real name] and I were dressed to impress and enjoy ourselves (i.e. no sweatshirts, or hoodies allowed) as it was the 1st time that we've been out, together (sans children) in, like, weeks, months, um...what year is it, again?
"BUUUUUUT, YOU PROMISED TO TAKE ME TO THE MALL!"
Seriously, on a Saturday, at Christmas?
"Yes, you did."
I must have been high on Lysol, or something, but my husband also reminded me that, since our oldest was sleeping over someone else's house (about danged time, too) Heather kindly offered to sit the rest of our kids, for us."You take her and I'll take the rest to Five Below, or something."
Besides, it was Heather's turn for some private mommy time and, at 13, I'm just happy that she still, you know, admits that I am her mother, let alone agrees to be seen with me, in public.
"You can take my car!"
WHOOT!...[cue new car smell]...so, I kissed my husband (whispering, in his ear, something about looking forward to, well, you know, later) and we went our separate ways.
"No...toll...paid...what does that mean, Mom?"
[eyes go wide]
"I dunno, I thought the E-ZPass Lane was open and...OH, FRIG!"
Then, I remembered that I had my husband's car.
"Daddy doesn't have E-ZPass?"
Nope. Aaaaand, I'd blown through 2 tolls, already, which cost my husband (does the math) $50.00 in tickets.
"Aaaand, we haven't even gotten to the mall, yet!"
So, I asked Heather to text her father what happened, hoping that it would give him enough time to, you know, get over it.
Then, he texted back.
"Well, at least, something's getting blown around here."
No he didn't. But, if you have kids, then you KNOW he was thinking it, right?
"I'll make it up to you."
Did I mention that there was going to be an open bar?
"It's not like I haven't heard that one, before."
We really did have a wonderful time at the Christmas party and, as we helped our youngest children find their beds (or, which ever one happened to be the closest) Garth [not his real name] and I were still feeling, you know, toasty.
"I can't sleep; can I go upstairs to Glen's bed?"
[eyes go wide]"Orrrrrrr, did you guys wanna be alone?"
[the sound of a romantic mood, exploding]
This Christmas, I'm giving Garth [not his real name] the gift of hope.
"Maybe we should just install an E-ZPass in OUR bed."
Or, which ever one happens to be the closest, right?
© 2009 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.