Hope is a word that I use often and not just because it happens to be my youngest daughter's name (a.k.a. mommy's little ticket into heaven) but, after years of exhaustive study (i.e. stupid insomnia!) I've come to the conclusion that, for me, the benefits of remaining hopeful far outweigh the risks of considering an alternate ending.

Then, life throws a curve ball and knocks those rose-colored glassed right off of my face and, well, maybe if I had remembered to wear my crash helmet...

"The doctors found something."

...but, this is NOT about me.

"Why did you wait to tell me?"

It's about watching the people I love the most, get smacked in the soft-squishy areas, time and time again, where your body's immediate reaction is to double over and puke...

"What could you have done?"

...and the best I could do is, you know, hold the bucket.

"But, I could have been there."

Then again, I could think of worse things.

"Wow, would you look at that!"

Which is what I was doing (thinking of worse things, I mean) when she (and, I can't tell you exactly who) pointed at the sky and, well, it took my breath away.

"Looks like fingers reaching out from heaven, doesn't it?"

Okay, but I was thinking more like strands of cotton candy.

"Thank you."

It was when she poked me that I realized, you know, she wasn't talking to the sky.

"For what?"

Then again, she might as well have been.

"For just...you know...letting me be...right here...with you guys."

And so, I remain, yours truly and totally filled with hope and perhaps just a dash of anxiety, for good measure.

Because, I may (or may not) have used that expression in front of my 9 year-old, before (especially, when watching this chef create the most impossible dinners) and, well, what DOES he have to do with all this?

"Wow, yeah, you want me to ask him if he's married?"

Absolutely nothing...and everything...because, hope is also contagious.

"Yep, you ARE your mother's daughter."

Aaaand, I'm totally keeping her...I mean, it...d'oh...because, I also believe that Hope has this way of making us ALL smile, inspite of ourselves.

"But, you are ALREADY married...mommy...der!" 

Aaaand, I'm sticking to it...to her...d'oh...you know what I mean, right?

Happy Love Thursday, everyone!

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