Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Attend BlogHer: SaveHer '10
I mean, really, wrangling 2,000+ registered attendees (not to mention, the 11-ty billion others already living in/visiting NYC) something's bound to go wrong (coming from someone, whose attempts at throwing a dinner party, for 6, the last 16 years, has failed, miserably, more often than not) and, well, someone's destined to get their feelings hurt (see previous parenthesis) or, break something (ditto) right?
No worries, SaveHer '10 is here (i.e. alternate title: Riding in an Ambulance with BusyMom!)
It was a normal Friday evening (for BlogHer, anyway) BusyMom and I just finished attending a wonderful event, where we got to meet up, chat and nosh with awesome friends.
It was late (as evidenced by my heavy eye baggage, above) but, we both curiously found ourselves to be, you know, still hungry (BlogHer does that to me, some times) and thought we'd grab a quick bite at a deli. Didn't matter which one, really. New York is REALLY famous for their delicious choice in delicatessens.
[sound of breaking glass]
My first thought was, holy crap, did someone just get shot?
"There's a woman laying on the sidewalk!"
Because, I'm observant like that and then my second thought was, holy crap, did the building fall on her?
"Maybe she's a blogger?"
That's when BusyMom donned her super cape (she's a nurse, ya' know?) and triage'd the injured woman, right there on 53rd street, in the middle of the sidewalk!
"Are you with me?"
Amazing stuff to witness, in person, really, and my third thought was, holy crap, how is this woman NOT screaming?
"Yes, it seems I've broken my arm."
An orthopedic surgeon, who happened to be dining at the same deli (clearly, they cater to those in the medical field) helped the injured woman sit upright.
My next thought was, holy crap, is an arm supposed to go like that?
Aaaaand, then the injured woman took one look at me (also, sitting criss-cross-applesauce on a New York City sidewalk) pointed with her non-mangled arm and screamed.
"YOU'RE THE SNORTER!"
Apparently, she was a blogger, AND I'm famous, as the poor woman recognized me (yes, at midnight, in the middle of NYC!) from having attended an event, earlier in the day, where Robyn outed me...for my snort.
Thanks, Robyn! Aaaanyway, the injured blogger and I were now connected (6 degrees from snort) aaaaand, bet you didn't know I had super powers, either, huh!?!?
"We need some ice, right now, please?"
Then, BusyMom's nursing skillz began to show (again!) and the gravity of the blogger's injuries became REAL clear to me (i.e. panic set in) so, I ran into the deli, with 2 other men, running...close behind.
"I NEED HELP!"
Aaaand, it never dawned on me, until MUCH later: 1 panic-stricken woman runs into deli (+) 2 men chasing her (+) it's nearly 1 in the morning = the perfect equation 4 scaring the hell out of a New Yorker, who got stuck working the deli counter, during witching hour!
"No, please don't shoot, I mean...I NEED ICE!"
I don't know if he was reaching for a gun, or a baseball bat and it doesn't matter at this point in the story, really (snort!) because, my husband would NOT be surprised (confirmed later, to be true) if I had called to tell him that, you know, I was the one going to the hospital!
"I want Liz to come with me to the hospital!"
So, as it turns out, it looked like we WERE going to take us a little ride, in a New York City ambulance, together, after all.
Courtesy of Howie Mandel's doppelganger (is it against the law to have a good time, riding in an ambulance in NYC?) got to the hospital in one piece (seriously, NYC, your streets are worse than Jersey!) and it was NOTHING like any ER episode, I remember. Until the injured blogger's roomie showed up.
"Here's her bag, her swag and her new iPhone."
It was the glass in the swag that broke (which sounds just like a gun shot, at nearly 1 in the morning, I swear!) she also broke her arm, dislocated her elbow, tore a ligament AND well, the woman was lucky to get her iPhone back (suh-weet!) just sayin'.
"Aaaand, I spoke with her husband, already!"
Long story, short (I know, too late!) our job...she WAS done.
So, we took us a little impromptu hospital tour (we shoulda googled a map) and got ourselves good and lost!
Afraid of ending up in the morgue, with a full bladder, I found a bathroom (THANK GAWD!)
That's when BusyMom got caught on tape waiting for me in the hallway.
Escorted out by security.
Bad moms, bad moms.
Morale of the Story: Bloggers helping other bloggers, that's how we roll (i.e. alternate title: Getting yourself involved in crap like this can get your ass SHOT!)
Deciding to throw caution to the wind (because, we're rebelious like that) we had dinner together, the following night, too (since, you know, Tennessee and New Jersey are REAL close and all) and it was good.
Until, someone's car backfired, or something and both BusyMom and I instinctively ducked...for cover!
Only in New York City, kids, and if you're trying to decide whether or not to attend a BlogHer conference (it's in San Diego, CA, next year, btw) don't worry...barring a family emergency (knocking on wood, until knuckles bleed) or, lack of sponsorship (DAMNIT!) SaveHer will be there!
Someone really should put that on t-shirt, right?
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