Bringing the Dumb
Would you believe, I was a REAL "Boy, she has it ALL together" type mom? Once. YES, I WAS, DAMMIT! You wouldn't know it now [blows bangs out of eyes] but, I even used to bake my kids homemade birthday cakes.
"That was the doctor's office."
Now, they consider themselves very lucky if I remember their birthdays...at all.
"She says we are WAY over due on our well visits."
I was supposed to take them in August. It's STILL September, right?
"Fine."
So, I added, "call pediatrician," to the monstrosity that is my to-do list; nevermind, try to find an empty space on the calendar.
What? Yours, too?
[shakes head]
Aaaand, it's only September, right?
"I left you a note on your laptop."
Now, I have to write stuff on 2 calendars and then punch it into my cell phone, just in case, you know, I forget to look at the calendar.
"And I sent you a text."
10 years from now, however, my children will undoubtedly remember their mother as being a discombobulated mess.
"Thank you."
What they fail to see, however (along with the wet towels left to ferment along the bathroom hallway) is, in my discombobulatedness (yes, it's a word!) I have played an important role in teaching them good organizational skills.
"Um...where is my cell phone?"
Aaaand, keeping them motivated in practicing those skills.
"It's probably in your car, Mommy."
Probably. Since, I spend most of the time, sitting in it, or driving it (mostly, sitting) especially, this time of year.
"I left you a note...too...bye...LOVE YOU!"
My 9 year-old, being the youngest of 4, is also advanced proficient in self-preservation and, after almost 10 years (or more, I forget) of fighting our way in and out of carpool lanes (i.e. they ARE the devil) the kid's got the stop, drop and ROLL thing down to a science!
"I love..."
Too late. She was out of the car and passed the bus lane. 3 seconds more and I could have saved the kid a couple hundred bucks worth of therapy.
"She NEVER could say I love you!"
[heavy sigh]
Then, I found her note.
Aaaand, well, you know. Yes, my brain is mush. But, I kind of, sort of, love the fact that my kids leave me little love notes...just like the ones I used to send...in their lunch bags.
Until, I read the second one.
Apparently, she really, really, really, really, really, really wants to be able to use the gift card...she got for her birthday...way back...in June.
[shrugs]
So, along with the fact that the gift card is good until June of 2012 (thankyouverymuch!) I added a little note of my own.
"I love you too, sweetie and good luck getting your card back!"
[eyes go wide]
What? So, I'm a discombobulated mess (DAMMIT!) but, I am NOT stoo-pid, you know?