[Source]

I went out to lunch with a mom friend, who also happens to be a pharmacist (don't have one, get one!) and it didn't take long for the conversation to turn all, you know, clinical.

"How about those hormonal replacement therapies, eh?"

I mean, it sort of goes with the territory.  Besides, I'm a mom, she's a mom and you know you're a mom when you can comfortably discuss your entire reproductive system over a cobb salad, right?

"So, you're going forward with the edometrial ablation?"

What?  Oh.  Sorry.  But, it felt SO GREAT to be able to FINALLY talk about this sort of...uh...stuff with someone who understands, or can empathize and not just in clinical terms, either. 

Sort of like blogging. 

There's something really very therapeutic about being able to, literally, write your way into a healthier state of mind, right?

Riiiiiiiight.

Which is probably the reason why my blog was voted #8 most confessional last year (anti-alpha mom, indeed!) 

Still.  At the risk of sliding into the #1 spot in 2010 (congratulations, Mir!) I'd like to continue discussing the trouble with my girly bits in the most manly way I know how.

In mechanical terms.

[cracks knuckles]

Ready?

Last 5 Years:

I've been experiencing brief instances of heavy load and sudden acceleration and, for fear of causing any further internal engine damage, I thought it was indeed way passed time for a professional assessment.

2 Weeks Ago:

A brief, superficial inspection under the hood confirmed a breach in the combustion chamber and carbon build up on the outside of the engine wall.

It was determined that additional performance-related diagnostic information was required.

Last Week:

Diagnostics further determined that the engine crankcase was crammed and required pressure relief; the sooner, the better.

Today:

However, to be sure that the flame arrester is operable (in case of backfire, we wouldn't want the flame in the intake to spread to the crankcase) they're going to scrape carbon off the pistons for further analysis.

Prognosis:

Diagnostics should be available in a couple of weeks, when further assessment will be made as to whether the flame has NOT spread to the crankcase, in which firing the exhaust tip (as scheduled for later next month) should alleviate the problem, or else a complete removal of the crank shaft and/or power wash of the engine is highly recommended.

But, that's between me and my mom mechanic.

[hands over dessert menu]

You're welcome!!!

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