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December 2010

November 2010

Yes, But In OUR House
We Just Celebrate "Blech Friday!"

Taken for middle girl's journalism assignment at Michaels on Black Friday!

Door busters, early bird specials, late night bonus savings, midnight madness, please take a number, stand in this line, DON'T MOVE, because, we may or may not call you within the next six hours (or, twenty) HOLY HANNAH MONTANA, is it me, or did shopping just get REAL HARD, or something?!?

I know.  The thrill of the sale.  Never EVER pay full price, if you don't have to.  I get that.  In fact, some of my best friends plan AND manage to get ALL of their holiday shopping done, every year, in one blessed day, DAMMIT!

Just, not me.

Nope, I'm THAT annoying lady, digging in her shoulder bag with one hand, flipping through the sale flier with the other, swearing up and down that she JUST had the stupid CVS coupon in her hand, a minute ago, AND she's standing RIGHT in front of you, too, DAMMIT!

Yep, I am ALL about making last minute shopping decisions and NOT just because I suffer from FDD (financial deficit disorder) or the lack of poor planning, or less than perfect organizational skills, either.

Nope, in our house, we just wait for something to blow up THEN we go shopping!

[sound of running feet]

"Now, what happened?"

Except, this passed Friday.

"OH...MY...GAWD...WHAT...IS...THAT...SMELL!!!"

The dog blew up.

"QUICK!  Where did you put all those sale papers?!?"

Aaaand, Garth (not his real name) went shopping.

"But, it's 1:00 o'clock in the morn...[GAG!]...they're on the mantel!"

Then again, we NEEDED to clean the carpet, sooner or later.

"HOLY HANNAH MONTANA!!!"

Aaaand, the Doofus-Dawg just saved us 40% on a new rug shampoo machine.

"Is that his spleen?!?"

BLECH!  Thanks to our family and friends, who insisted on slipping the dog "just a quick taste" under the table, we just experienced our first "belly buster sale."

[cue crickets, chirping]

Can't WAIT to see what I get...next year...stupid Thanksgiving!!!

© 2003 - 2010 This Full House Blog / TFH Gone Shopping

© This Full House 2003-2017. All rights reserved.

How Many Geico Commercials DOES it Take to Push ME Over the Edge?

 

Having spent the last few days recuperating from surgery (crankcase overhaul, overall, was successfully, THANKS!) only to be rushed back to the doctor's office with perhaps the worst bronchial infection, ever (SURPRISE!!!) THEN having to re-recuperate, while under the influence of prednisone (i.e. synonym for CRAZY) well, the last few days HAVE been an enlightening experience.

For example, stuff I learned while under the influence of prednisone:

  • The definition of ironic:  electing to go through total crankcase overhaul to aleve wicked pre-pre-menopausal symptoms (you're welcome!) and then being prescribed prednisone, which then induces hot flashes and cold sweats.
  • Go figure, since my husband, Garth (not his real name) has referred to me in the past as his, "salty wench."
  • To which, much to the HORROR of my children, I began singing, "Pour some Mustard on Me!" during dinner, yesterday.
  • To which, Garth (not his real name) started hiding the sharp stuff.
  • My husband, Garth (not his real name) would make someone a WONDERFUL wife (fuhgehtaboutit, I'm keeping him!)
  • Watch those Geico commercials enough times (especially, that one up there) and they actually start looking, you know, pretty funny.

This one, however, makes me kinda sorta want to cut someone, actually!!!

I rest my case, stupid steroids.

DISCLOSURE:  This post is in NO WAY an endorsement for Geico and...NO!...I am NOT going to actually cut someone, for real.  Besides, I am NOT allowed to use sharp stuff (remember?) not until I at least finish my prescription...Thanksgiving Day.

Why...YES!...yes, we ARE hosting Thanksgiving dinner this year; why, you want to come over?

C'mon, there's ALWAYS room for one more [cough...cough] CRAZY [cough...cough] and we could REALLY, REALLY use some more mustard!

UPDATED TO ADD:  Ventured out for 1st time in almost a week without incident (YAY!) Only to trip in living room & bust up my knee cap while getting a jump start on Thanksgiving cleaning.  Don't worry, Garth (not his real name) ripped me a new one for it. #iklutz

© 2003 - 2010 This Full House Blog

© This Full House 2003-2017. All rights reserved.

7 Years of a Mom Blog Series:
Minor Distractions - Part II

Wwsd I'm heading into the hospital...erm...having my engine steam cleaned, later this week and meeting with my Gynecol...MECHANIC!...to discuss biopsy...I mean...PERFORMANCE EFFICIENCY DIAGNOSTICS...but, I'll find out more about that, later.

[UPDATE:  Diagnostics came back negative and that is SUCH A GOOD THING, REALLY!  So, putting my chasis into the shop for fine tuning was a GO for this Wednesday!!!]

What?

Yeah.  I'm old.  Still.  Trust me when I tell you...it's NOT the years honey...it's the mileage...and I've got something REAL special, just for you (yes, YOU!) while I'm gone.

[reaches deep into pockets]

WAIT!  Don't go, I promise, it's nothing tooooo graphic or gross (this time) but, kind of, sort of fun actually.

You see, my oldest was reading this year's birthday post (7th one I've written, as a matter of fact) and she dug up some old...VINTAGE!...blog posts from way back in 2003.

You know, when social media meant you were THRILLED just to make it onto someone's blogroll?!?

Ahem.

So, begins the 7 Years of a Mom Blog -- a series of republished blog posts I wrote EXACTLY 7 years ago, today.

Keeping score:  we had 3 cats, no doofus, kids were 10, 7, 4 and 2 at the time.

7 years ago today:  My husband Garth (not his real name) actually considered leaving his wife (that would be me!)  ENJOY!!!

Continue reading "7 Years of a Mom Blog Series:
Minor Distractions - Part II" »

© This Full House 2003-2017. All rights reserved.

7 Years of a Mom Blog Series:
I Can't Sleep

Maxine at computer
I'm heading into the hospital...erm...having my engine steam cleaned, later this week and meeting with my Gynecol...MECHANIC!...to discuss biopsy...I mean...PERFORMANCE EFFICIENCY DIAGNOSTICS...but, I'll find out more about that, later.

[UPDATE:  Diagnostics came back negative and that is SUCH A GOOD THING, REALLY!  So, putting my chasis into the shop for fine tuning is a GO for today!!!]

What?

Yeah.  I'm old.  Still.  Trust me when I tell you...it's NOT the years honey...it's the mileage...and I've got something REAL special, just for you (yes, YOU!) while I'm gone.

[reaches deep into pockets]

WAIT!  Don't go, I promise, it's nothing tooooo graphic or gross (this time) but, kind of, sort of fun actually.

You see, my oldest was reading this year's birthday post (7th one I've written, as a matter of fact) and she dug up some old...VINTAGE!...blog posts from way back in 2003.

You know, when social media meant you were THRILLED just to make it onto someone's blogroll?!?

Ahem.

So, begins the 7 Years of a Mom Blog series of republished blog posts I wrote EXACTLY 7 years ago, today.

Keeping score:  we had 3 cats, no doofus, kids were 10, 7, 4 and 2 at the time.

7 years ago today:  a blog post written while under the influence of a sleeping aide induced fog...ENJOY!!!

 

Continue reading "7 Years of a Mom Blog Series:
I Can't Sleep" »

© This Full House 2003-2017. All rights reserved.

7 Years of a Mom Blog:
I Had a Dream

Where is my cabana boy

I'm heading into the hospital...erm...having my engine steam cleaned, later this week and meeting with my Gynecol...MECHANIC!...to discuss biopsy...I mean...PERFORMANCE EFFICIENCY DIAGNOSTICS...but, I'll find out more about that, later today.

[11/16: UPDATED TO ADD:  Diagnostics came back negative and that is SUCH A GOOD THING, REALLY!  So, putting my chasis into the shop for fine tuning is a GO for this Wednesday!!!]

What?

Yeah.  I'm old.  Still.  Trust me when I tell you...it's NOT the years honey...it's the mileage...and I've got something REAL special, just for you (yes, YOU!) while I'm gone.

[reaches deep into pockets]

WAIT!  Don't go, I promise, it's nothing tooooo graphic or gross (this time) but, kind of, sort of fun actually.

You see, my oldest was reading this year's birthday post (7th one I've written, as a matter of fact) and she dug up some old...VINTAGE!...blog posts from way back in 2003.

You know, when social media meant you were THRILLED just to make it onto someone's blogroll?!?

Ahem.

So, begins the 7 Years of a Mom Blog -- a series of republished blog posts I wrote EXACTLY 7 years ago, today.

Keeping score:  we had 3 cats, no doofus, kids were 10, 7, 4 and 2 at the time.

7 years ago today, I had a dream:  warning, there is mention of cabana boys, strapless French bikinis and puke may or may not have been involved...ENJOY!!!

Continue reading "7 Years of a Mom Blog:
I Had a Dream" »

© This Full House 2003-2017. All rights reserved.

Aaaand a Very Happy Motherversary to Me, My Friend!

Seventeen Happy 17th Birthday, Holly!

I remember the first time I saw your round little face.  I stroked your tiny fingers, one by one, tracing a path along your elbow, then across the funny little folds in your neck and finally found my way up to the most perfect pair of lips I had ever seen.

I tickled you.  You wrinkled your nose.  I noticed your dimple (only one, it's still there, on your left cheek) and then I fell in love with the idea of holding you...my...baby...girl...forever and ever.

I never imagined, all those hours, days, weeks, months, years ago, that you would grow up and, well, look at you now.

But, now, I can't help and wonder, STILL.

Did I hold you enough?  Maybe I should have let you climb the monkey bars, higher?  Did I not feed you enough vegetables?  Maybe I should have let you stay in your crib a little longer?  Did I give you enough attention?  Maybe I should have waited a year, or two?  DAMMIT!  Did I love you enough?

Then, again, you ARE seventeen.

"How do I look?"

As I watch you, right now, deciding on exactly which outfit to wear, on your birthday, all the shoulda, coulda, just doesn't seem to matter, as much, anymore.

"You look beautiful!"

Because, you ARE seventeen!

"Wait, my butt doesn't sag...does it?"

Seventeen years ago, at about 4:30 in the morning, a new mother was born and, although, there are days when I can't help but miss that sweet little baby girl (one beat, two beats) it seems I have also made a brand new friend.

"Honey, you're seventeen, your butt does NOT know how to sag."

Aaaand, you STILL wrinkle your nose when you laugh.

"I love you, mommy!"

Happy 17th Birthday, my sweet baby girl; my friend!

© 2010 This Full House Blog / TFH Gone Shopping

Stopdiabetes

Updated to Add:  Here's the first "Happy Birthday" blog post I wrote for Holly's 10th birthday, way back in 2003 -- nice to see my writing style hasn't changed, um, much.

HW7XT5TRWUM2

© This Full House 2003-2017. All rights reserved.