Raising a Manchild (Kind Of, Sort Of!)
The House Next Door

Cloudy With a Chance of Snowballs

Passed the Nose on My Face

I love snow [ducks to avoid flying snowballs] working up enough courage to actually get behind the wheel of a car and driving in it, not so much!

I got into my first and only car wreck [knocking on wood until knuckles bleed] while driving home from work...in a snow storm.

It was bad; my body hurts just thinking about it.

I was only 20 and, well, let's just say I've spent the last 20-something years, doing my best to avoid, having to drive...in the snow.

Until, I had children.

My kids don't like to walk, anywhere (I think it's a law, or something) partly, because we live in an area where the ratio between accessible sidewalks to the actual number of cars on the road is equal to the proportion of the accumulated snowfall.

In other words, no one shovels their gosh-darned sidewalks, anymore, DAGNABIT!

"Can I stay home, today?"

[frown]

"Yes...WAIT...I mean, NO!"

I fear for my middle girl.  She attends a specialized high school 25 miles away from home and, well, her bus travels some of the craziest roads known to the Jersey Shore as...THE PARKWAY!!!

[shiver]

"Sorry, kiddo, but you have finals, today!"

Aaaaand, she was out sick, yesterday, already, DAGNABIT!!!

"Can you pick me up from school, today?"

[bites lower lip]

"Um, NO!"

What?  This particular kid also takes a bus and, well, who am I to deny someone a chance to do their job, right?

"Can you pick me up from school, today?"

[heavy sigh]

"Uh, NO!"

What?  Aaaand, this kid can literally spit from our house to the school, we live THAT close.

"Now, remember, if the snow gets really, really bad, mommy's gonna park the car down the street and we're gonna walk home, okay?"

[eyes go wide]

"ALL THE WAY FROM SCHOOL?!?"

YES!  Because, there's a wooded path leading from this kid's school, to the adjacent neighborhood and, well, I fear THAT parking lot, the most!

"It'll be an adventure!"

Besides, we're supposed to get like, 10 inches and I've abandoned cars, for less.

"...so, our area can expect a light dusting to no accumulation...until, tonight."

PHEW!

[looks out the window]

BALLS!

Guess what?  The weather dudes were wrong (GASP!) I spun out in the CVS parking lot getting milk on the way home from school this morning and, well, it looks like my kids are walking!

[pulls up hoodie and blows bangs out of eyes]

If anyone needs me, I'll be outside, cleaning off my car (for the eleventy-hundrendth time) and pretending like I'm a REAL good stay-at-home mother.

Stupid Snowmaggedon!!!

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