You Say Bribery, I Say Schmibery
Either Way, It's All UPPERCASE To THEM!
You Say Joisey, I Say What?!?

Parenting Tip #43,100,688:
Don't Have a Helmet, Get One!

Helmut Head
Besides, the fact that we are perhaps the only family, with four kids, and the youngest nearly in double-digits, who has never been to Disney World (meanies that we are) a lot of people seem to be surprised when they learn that my kids can't ride bikes, either.

Without training wheels, I mean.

I don't know why, really, I guess my kids just never really got into them and then scooters were a big thing, so, there's that.

"I want to learn how to ride a bike!"

My youngest, however, wants to learn how to do everything -- especially, if she's the first kid in our family to, you know, do it.

"Okay, maybe this summer."

[hands on hips]

"That's what you ALWAYS say!"

Unfortunately, she wants everything, like, RIGHT NOW, nevermind that there's been snow on the ground for the last couple of, uh, what month is it, again?

"What do you mean?"

Because, you know, I'm quick like that.

"Like, about the ladies stuff?"

PSA:  About to head into female territory and references to lady parts will probably come up, once or twice.

"Oh, that."

Yes, I admit it, I've been putting off having "the talk," and with good reason, too!

"I mean, I know what the pads are used for, already!"

She is the youngest.  She also shares a bedroom (and bathroom) with her two oldest sisters.  The girl sees stuff, hears things, even when she's not supposed to and, well, at this point, I'm kind of worn out and really was hoping that maybe she'd sort of just, you know, figure it out.

"It's so you could catch the pee you missed and sort of drips off, right?"

[sound of crickets]

Aaaaaand, so, Hope and I had a really nice chat, last night, and, I am happy to report that pee was not even mentioned.

"Remember when I was little and you used to give me a bath?"

[heavy sigh]

"Aaaand, you pulled my pants off and I made you scream?"

[eyes go wide]

"Because, I wanted to be like Holly and Heather, so I put a pad on!"

[bites lower lip]

"Except, I put it on...sticky side up."

Oh, yeah.  I forgot about that.

"Aaaaand, you laughed so hard, you fell backwards and hit your head!"

True story (it hurt!) and I'm sure it won't be the last time she tells it, either.

"Why aren't you laughing, mommy?"

Stupid puberty!

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