My youngest daughter and I were fighting over radio stations on the way to school, this morning (I'm a little oldies and she's a little bit, you know, LOUD) when it occurred to me that we moved into our starter home, which happens to be THIS house, on Memorial Day weekend...in 1993!

"Wow, that means, you've been walking the halls for 18 years!"

Okay, so it's STILL a 7 room house and it's not like we have THAT many halls to begin with. 

Actually, only 1, on the way to the bathroom, in front of the girls' room and, well, it can get REAL scary, walking down there!

Then, I got to thinking about it some more (stupid traffic lights) and, well, she was ABSOLUTELY right.

Although, it's more like I wander, as I wonder, after 18 years, why I STILL can't remember where in the heck I put stuff.

However, I refuse to believe it's because I'm old-ish (but, I still LOOK good, dagnabit!) besides, a person's brain can hold only so much information, before it implodes, right?

It's true, I read it somewhere, in a book.

[heavy sigh]

Aaaaand, for those of you skeptics out there (yeah, I see you, way in the back, over there on the left, in the t-shirt and cut-off shorts) who STILL don't understand how a person (like me) can FORGET TO HAVE BREAKFAST, I present to you, yesterday morning:

• Squints at clock on wall.
• Dang, we're late (AGAIN!)
• Grabs coffee cup.
• Runs back to house (stupid bladder!)
• Drive to school.
• Reminded about some school event, in an hour.
• Runs home to check for email.
• Checks other emails.
• Answers emails.
• More email.
• Reaches for empty coffee cup.
• Need more coffee.
• See box of cereal left on the table.
• Squints at clock on coffee maker.
• Oh, yeah, almost forgot to eat breakfast.
• Also, need more coffee.
• Dang, got to clean out coffee maker.
• Looks out kitchen window.
• Oh, what a pretty bird.
• Squints.
• Get off the feeder, you danged squirrel!
• Dog careens passed to bark at squirrel bird.
• Spill coffee grinds.
• Stupid dog!
• Great, paper towel roll empty (AGAIN!)
• Starts walking towards garage door.
• BARK-BARK-BARK-BARK-BARKITY-BARK-BARK!
• Shuddup, Doofus!
• Ummmmmmmmm.....
• COFFEE!!!
• Walks back to kitchen.
• Dang, I'm hungry.
• Grabs cereal box.
• GAH, it's empty.
• Go to throw it away, sees coffee grinds on floor.
• DAGNABIT!!!
• Places empty box on kitchen counter.
• Gets paper towels, cleans up coffee grinds.
• STARVING!!!
• Reaches for bowl, banana and where in the heck did that cereal box go?
• D'oh!!!
• Throws banana peel into empty cereal box.
• GET OFF OFFAMY BIRD FEEDER!!!
• Stomps off to back door.
• What's THAT smell?
• Forgot to switch the laundry (AGAIN!)
• Checks bathrooms for wet towels.
• FLUSH!!!
• I drink way tooooo much coffee.
• COFFEE!!!
• Start walking back to kitchen.
• Hrmph, someone left the washing machine door...oh.
• Walk back to bathroom for towels.
• Stomach growls.
• Start back to kitchen.
• Bon Appetit, you danged squirrel bird.
• Grabs cereal bowl.
• Steps over coffee grinds.
• Picks up cereal box.
• Shakes cereal box; looks inside.
• What the...now, who in the heck put a banana peel...[one beat, two beats]
• Oh...DAYUM!

So, the next time someone tells you, "I FORGOT TO EAT BREAKFAST," just smile, nod your head and know that...you know...it COULD happen!!!

[sound of crickets]

Or, give them a cup of coffee (or, a banana) then, take them by the hand and show them the way to the bathroom, or something, thanks!!!

[UPDATE:  School nurse at middle school JUST called (seriously!) son is in her office, throwing up and, well, doesn't seem like I'll be eating breakfast, lunch, or dinner...anytime soon...BLECH!]

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